Mobile phones and unicyclists

The whole mobile phone industry is going crazy. Motorola has just launched a phone aimed at the “youth market” with a flame design on the keypad and a “discreetly” placed vanity mirror. Nokia has it’s Vertu luxury line with phones in gold, leather and jewel encrusted running into the thousands of dollars. Another Motorola phone “revealed” to “top trend setters and influencers” (including Molly Shannon??) in NYC “lets you call, text or email with style and ease.”

So with all this money and effort going into the development of mobile phones, what features would you like to see in a mobile phone specifically designed for the benefit of unicyclists?

Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ

UPD safe: The ability to withstand a high speed UPD in which the rider lands on top of the phone or accidentally throws it into traffic.

Hands free kit as standard, to give you maximum freedom of movement. As an added bonus you’d look even wierder to strangers when you appearantly talk to yourself while unicycling.

And naturally, any known GPS and cycle computer feature.

Mine would be a Treo-like device, with wireless Bluetooth headset so you can keep it in your pocket while you talk.

In a few years, the headset will be the whole phone, so the Treo idea is so it can also be a small computer.

Add a hard drive to that and it can also be your iPod.

So i guess I want my iPod, internet-enabled PDA, phone, gigabytes of storage, and a crappy little still/video camera to be all in one pocket-sized device.

it should open up, like a hard eye-glasses case, to reveal a tire patch kit complete with levers and little beige rubber tube.

Lets not forget the 5mm, 7/32 combo allen key wrench antenna

How about whenever someone says, “hey you lost a wheel” it automatically loudly plays, “BITE ME!”

Oh and some sort of gyroscopic-magneto thingy that makes it impossible to UPD.

Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ

Just a button somewhere on the side that when pushed blurts out “on your left!” as I pass people while talking on the phone at the same time.

I have a APC which can switch power on/off.
Then I have a bluetooth stack, and a webserver, to serve http pages like an interface to the APC.
And so I want the nokia 6630, so I can switch of the light by touching my phone.
If I did like coffee I could even switch on the coffee-make machine a few minutes before ariving at home!

UPD? well you should be carefull. And sometimes shit just happens.