What do you do when it all crashes down on you at once?
Okay this is what happened in the past two days:
Aunt gets diagnosed with advanced brain/lung cancer
My elderly parents are mad as he11 at me and I have no idea why, so mad in fact they won’t talk to me to explian
Boyfriend dumps me when things seemed to be going fine
My kid (6 years old) decides to try to beat up the young daycare assistant
The furnace goes and it’s 48 degrees in the house, land lord is out of town for the Holiday week
My boss makes humiliating jokes about me at a work party hosted by my (ex) boyfriend.
I’m getting a cold.
The Harry Potter movie is too scary to take my kid to and the babysitters are all busy (or afraid of my sweet little tyrrant)
I’ve ridden the uni so much to get away from it all that my legs are noodles. Wait maybe they are shaking because it is so cold in here…
Now what? suggestions?
UUUURGH. i feel a big grump coming on.
I think you should find someone like a friend to talk to…and look for like something to do to help relieve stress.
as for it being cold, you could like go spend the day at the mall or a cafe or something, bring a book or a laptop…well, I guess having a six year old son wouldn’t make that very easy.
I hope everything gets better for you soon though!
Thanks Amanda,
Hot chocolate sounds good. If I knew what a duvet was I might just wrap myself up in one! I do have blankets that I guess may serve as well!
Maybe if I get all this bad stuff out of the way, I’ll have a good holiday, right! the forcast is relatively clear so I can keep riding at least.
It wasn’t the boyfriend that was making jokes, the boss was. The exboyfriend is a good guy, or I wouldn’t have been dating him, but I will definitely need to talk to him and find out why the abrupt ending, just so I am not left wondering.
Ahhh life.
I think I’m going to take Mr. Potter’s advice this afternoon, and your advice this evening. Thanks folks for tolerating a non-uni post on the forum and helping me out!
Well, there’s no getting away from it. Sometimes when things feel really out of control, getting a little drunk helps me. At least I can then be secure in one thing - the knowledge that I will feel even worse in the morning.
Failing that I put on some great music, switch the lights off and dance until I drop.
But what is my favourite thing for doing when I feel stressed is internet shopping. It always makes me feel better. And since I’m terminally sensible I never spend more money than I can afford.
And if it makes you feel any less alone - my little 7 yr old angel had to miss circus club yesterday because he threw a chair at his big sister (whilst he was already grounded for throwing a see-saw at the next door neighbour last weekend). It’s a steep learning curve for them.
Lots to go wrong all at once. You must be feeling really miserable.
Now I’m going to be painfully direct in a well-meaning sort of way.
Things are bad, but at least you aren’t the one who’s just been diagnosed with a painful terminal disease. How is your aunt?
Are your parents behaving badly towards you because the aunt is the sister of one of them, and they are just so shocked and upset they aren’t thinking straight?
Is your child getting aggressive because you’re tense about the other things, and he can sense it, and needs attention and reassurance?
Has the boyfriend walked out because you’re so wound up by your problems you haven’t been communicating with him recently? Or has he jumped ship because he doesn’t care enough to stand by you (in which case you’re better off finding that out now, rather than in 5 years’ time.)
Have you taken your boss’s jokes too seriously because you are already upset, and because you were embarrassed in front of your ex?
There’s obviously a lot going on there. Some of these things may be cause and effect. Others might only be coincidences. You have linked them in your mind and that has allowed you to become overwhelmed.
There’s a 6 year old there who (apart from the aunt) is the only one on your list who can’t do anything to make the situation better. I should start from the point of view that keeping him warm, safe and happy is your most important duty.
As for the others: you can influence their behaviour, but you can’t control it. You can (try to) control your response to how they behave, though.
If that sounds a bit harsh, forgive me. It’s well meant. and I wish you well.
Sounds like your little fella has some muscle! And yes it always feels good to hear my kid isn’t the only one causing trouble!
Coming from a family of alcoholics, I’m wise to never get drunk (but I will have a beer to knock me out before bed if rest is paramount, as it is in times of stress!) My tolerance is so low one beer does indeed put me to sleep.
When I was in grade school I intercepted an iceball with my eye on the playground. I was rushed home where my mother doted on her dear darling dimpled daughter with the black eye. When my little brother came home to see me so pampered, he was jealous:
I remember seeing the black and white saddle shoe with the red rubber sole spinning slowly as it approached my other eye. There I was two black eyes and a little brother who was in deep trouble!!
I think the good music will go well with the hot cocoa and the duvet if I learn what a duvet is. I’ll check Merriam websert online.
I should decouple all these things you’re right. as individual things, they are all more manageable.
the Aunt and her family are working with oncologists etc to figure out exactly how bad the malignancies are. She’s one of these 70 year old forever-tennis players so being wheelchair bound overnight is quite traumatic for her. The brain tumor interferes with a nerve to one of her legs, but there may be some surgical options to explore, they have to find out more.
My parents regularly freak out, It alwasy hurts, but I know it will dissapate in time.
Insofar as the six year old, we’ve taken the day so far and done a lot of quality time, played go fish, raked the back acre together with a 6 foot pile of leaves big enough to bury him, me and the two dogs all at once. He rides his bike while I ride my coker, so the morning ride was fun for both of us together, too.
His stint with the daycare people was at the onset of these things, so I don’t thing it is a reaction to the stresses at home. He’s a bright one and I think he’s pushing limits hard with these folks.
About the BF: who knows. the man dumped me but keeps emailing and calling, not to get back together but to make small talk. Just don’t get it.
Thanks for the sane words, Mikefule! Not harsh at all.
Thanks for the clarification. I’m a soil scientist, yes, but cuddling with fungus doesn’t sound so nice!
Main Entry: du·vet Pronunciation Guide
Pronunciation: ()d(y)ü|v
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): -s
Etymology: French, literally, down, from Middle French, alteration of (assumed) dumet (whence later Middle French dumet & Breton dumed), diminutive of dum down, from Old French, alteration (probably influenced by plume feather) of dun, from Old Norse dnn – more at DOWN (feathers)
: a downy growth characteristic of some fungus cultures
Hey Podzol,
Where did your name come from? Does it mean anything? I only ask because I’ve been looking for a name for the gecko tattoo on my foot. Podzol kind of suits it. Would that be OK?
Cathy
PS it was only a very small chair that Sam threw at his large sister. And the see-saw thing happened next door. I can only image it was a small see-saw because Sam is definately not one of those beefy boys (actually he’s a weedy wimp - much as I love him dearly, he is soooo like me it’s unbelieveable)
[QUOTE=cathwood]
Hey Podzol,
Where did your name come from? Does it mean anything? I only ask because I’ve been looking for a name for the gecko tattoo on my foot. Podzol kind of suits it. Would that be OK?
QUOTE]
My goodness, certainly.
Hear is what Podzol means: There are different types of soil. Soil scientists have developed a variety of classification schemes for them.
A Podzol is my favorite type of soil (Okay… I am a soils nerd. Everybody, I am comfortable with that, go ahead and laugh loudly). Podzol is the international soils taxonomic classification for a forest soil that has a greyish layer in it (see my Avatar). The word is from the Russian (Pod=under, zola=ash). The greyish layer is generally not ash (except where these soils form near volcanoes) but is sandy earth that has been changed to look whitish-grey by the acidity of the plants that grow in the forests.
SO, that’s what Podzol means! THe United States soils Taxonomic equivalent for Podzol is Spodosol, for the Americans on the forum.
my friend, who’s a unicyclist, his dad studies soil too. I bet he knows what podzol means!! we always make fun of him because his job is studying dirt. (:
Like all we do is sit around and talk dirty at work.
It’s a lot of fun. The type of soil science I do is called “pedology,” a “ped” being the sciencey word for a clod of dirt. Being a Pedologist I get all the child molester and foot doctor jokes on top of the dirty mind jokes. I guess I’m used to it!
I like soil science because it is very complicated I have to know about physics, chemistry, geology, biology, ecology, meteorology etc. There are a lot of people that need the soil but it has only been studies as a science for abotu 120 years, so not a heck of a lot is known about it.
Most soil scientists that I know actually enjoy being teased about it. We are generally down to earth people.
BTW, everybody who posted on this thread. Thanks a lot. i feel loads better compared to this morning and I appreciate and will remember the moral support you guys provided. You’re the tops.
