just wondering if anyone out there has any stories regarding themselves and a long lost relative they have found? what happened, was it a good experience or bad, how did it happen, just anything you might want to share with us.
i ask this because i believe im very close to finally getting contact with my own father. i have found pictures of him on the web and a possible email address, just waiting for a reply from him to comfirm who he is before springing the news on him.
Way to go, man! That’s really cool. Unfortunately I don’t have any suggestions for you…
I have a story about a long lost relative whom I will never meet. My uncle was a beat poet during the 50s and 60s and was quiet well known in the San Fransisco Bay area. He worked with people such as Allen Ginsberg, Richard Brautigan, Gary Snyder and Bill Bathhurst. He had a printing press in his apartment in San Fransisco and actually made the first edition prints of Brautigan’s The Galilee Hitch-Hiker when Brautigan couldn’t get it published elsewhere. Unfortunately he died of a heroin overdose while he was still very young, during the 60s, so I was never able to meet him.
BUT, I’ve been searching him thouroughly over the internet for the past year and I’ve located some places that have lots of his work (he never wrote any collections so his stuff is scattered all over the place). In a couple weeks, I’m going to SanFran to check out some of his stuff that the library has in their Hippie Collection. So I’m really stoked about that! I guess that it’s sort of meeting him in a way. It’ll be awesome!
I know you have spent alot of your life looking for him, and Im guessing you really want a father, but are you sure that you will like what he has to say? Maybe there is good reason your mother didn’t tell him. Have you talked to her about it?
If I were you I would talk to your mother before you contact him, get the full story so that you can make a better decision about the whole situation. Remember that this is another man’s life you are dealing with, and he may not be so happy to find out he has a son.
i have talked to my mother, from what i gather it was a short relationship, possibly even a one night stand. and as to what i expect from him, nothing, im just giving him the chance to make the connection, because he doesnt have that.
i’m a little far gone in experience to be wanting a ‘father figure’. if anything i just want to know a) family history and b) if i have any siblings out there
I guess the siblings thing would be pretty good thing to know. But I would still recomend telling your mother, since she is the only one that might know him.
I would suggest you do plenty of undercover research into his life now, before committing yourself to making contact. You may wish to consider his present circumstances. If there is just him to consider all should be relatively easy. But after 19 years he may well have other close family, wife, kids. And there is a risk that finding out about you may destroy what he now has. Which may turn him against you.
This is certainly not a “DON’T DO IT”, merely a “think very carefully” about all the possible implications, and about exactly HOW to make contact. At the very least you need to be sure that on that initial contact, that it is just you and him involved. And are you sure, absolutely sure, that you are dealing with your father, 100% sure, no one else possible?
Tricky situation.
I have an aunt whom I have never met. She left her family back in the 1950’s and has not had contact with anyone since then. She and 8 of her 9 siblings are still alive but getting very old. We contacted her son about 10 years ago and he has become part of the extended family he did not know he had. He went from no relatives to more than 100 relatives.
its quite funny actually, i have so many relatives it is not really possible to keep in touch with all of them.
i run into relatives quite often. its kind of funny, we all do the same thing… oh! you have my last name!
hi, i’m related to you, i’m stephen(traces back quickly to grandparents)
hi, i’m blah bea dah, you’re my 2nd cousin 3 times removed
i’ve actually found a few of my friends to be distant (not really) relatives
one of them is a 2nd cousin 3x removed’s brother in law (yeah… lol )
well i talked to my mum, did as much research as was possible ( i can not afford an agent) and we decided that she should break it to him. so now we are waiting on a reply… wish me luck!
This process must have been very scary. Glad to hear it seems to be working out.
Actor Bob Newhart used to have a TV show which included three brothers (characters). Larry was the only one who spoke and he would always introduce the trio as “Hi, I’m Larry. This is my brother Darrel and this is my other brother Darrel.”
Now you can say, “This is my sister Violet, this is my brother Martin and this is my other brother Martin.”
Are you glad this part of the adventure is over? (More adventures to come …)
