Well, folks, after much practice and some new advice, I finally got the
hang of jump-mounting my 6’ giraffe (nearly). The trick, as described by
my club-member Cornell, is to push your chest out as you are swinging up
(after you take a short running jump); this sorta forces you NOT to lean
back (like I was doing).
When I finally remembered this, I had an audience: a woman who was telling
me that her boyfriend has a couple of unis. While she watched what I said
would be my final attempt, I remembered Cornell’s advice and tried it. Up
I flew. I couldn’t believe it. I had finally free-mounted the giraffe
after 18 years of owning it!!! But… I had sat on a testicle. So I was
faced with staying atop and causing further pain or quickly dismounting.
My body basically rallied for the latter, but I tried to make an
‘adjustment,’ with disastrous consequences: The seat slipped out from
under me, and I went straight down, and I do mean straight. The uni fell
out behind me as I landed on all fours. It wasn’t painful, but it was a
Further attempts avoided that sort of injury, but I kept tilting to the
side, so I never actually mounted AND rode – tho I was damn close.
Cornell had mentioned that he could see how the slick Schwinn seat makes
it hard to do certain tricks due to its poor design. I will have to look
into some improvements.
Onwards and upwards!
David Having-a-ball-on-my-Giraffe Stone