Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

Hi, I have an audition for a Renaissance Faire here in New York on friday, and I was just informed that a routine set to music is not acceptable for the audition. I need to borrow some material! PLEASE? Anything is helpful, stuff suitable for toss juggling, knife juggling, Contact Juggling, Diabolo…
Please help me get this job. I promise I will only use the material for the audition. Any performance I will think up my own stuff. I already have stuff for a street routine, but it is not suitable for this audition.
PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP
-David Kaplan

P.S. Responses could be also sent to me at J
JFatSmokes@nyc.rr.com

Set your routine to rap…that’s not music.

Couldnt agree more Harper, but I’m afraid that that too is unacceptable.:frowning:
-David Kaplan

If you can already juggle knives, you shoulld juggle torches for the festival(if they allow it). If you dont have any you can make your own http://www.juggling.org/help/torches/making.html . I havent made them yet, but I plan on making some as soon as I get good enought at juggling clubs. Other than that I dont have any ideas, except some tennis balls, or baseballs if its a little windy. Hope that helps.

Tel, I meant performance material (jokes, gags, segways) not props.
-David Kaplan

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

> Hi, I have an audition for a Renaissance Faire here in New York on
> friday, and I was just informed that a routine set to music is not
> acceptable for the audition. I need to borrow some material! PLEASE?

I think they would be okay with music if you supplied your own minstrels? As
long as the RenFair organization didn’t have to pay them…

I don’t have any decent material to offer (or indecent), but I will note
that they will also ding you for props made out of stuff that wasn’t
available in renaissance times. Limit yourself to wood and metal, or
beanbags, etc. They did have a guy there who used a Schwinn unicycle, but
they may be more strict nowadays on auditions.

My friend who worked there in the past had to go to a month or more of
unpaid auditions before the actual fair started. Are you prepared to do
this? This may not affect you, as my friend was in “group” performances,
such as the living chess game, in addition to his own shows.

> PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP PLEASE HELP

Use your audience. When all else fails, make fun of the average person
trying to juggle for the first time. Make political jokes that are topical
to the era you’re in. Make sure your audience is actively involved, and not
just watching. One of the most boring juggling performances I’ve seen was
Cindy Marvel reading Shakespeare, while juggling FIVE clubs! Five clubs
should not be so boring.

Good luck,
John Foss, the Uni-Cyclone
jfoss@unicycling.com

“We were discussing Big Mac Meals. I think that has little if anything to do
with cow parts. There are probably more UNICYCLE parts in a Big Mac than cow
parts.” - Greg Harper on cuisine

The performance isnt the problem, the AUDITION is.
What I have planned for my street routine involves unicycling, juggling and drawing caracatures at the same time, fire and knife juggling, and lots of audience participation (takes time, and gets laughs(laughs=$$$)).
I have a feeling the audition is in a room, maybe not too big, but probably acceptable for club juggling. No fire is allowed there, I assume no knives either. I dont think they will care about the unicycle stuff, because they didnt have Unicycles in the renaissance period.
A lot of the stuff I do is also only funny when there is a large group. The juggling/portrait drawing is done rather horribly, but that is the point. After all the hype of “I am going to juggle and paint at the same time” they laugh at the let down of a hideous drawing, Kind of like PT Barnum talking about the 6 foot man-eating chicken, when it was actually a man who was 6 feet tall, and eating a bucket of chicken. There is more comedy, and acting silly, than Cirque Du Soleil skills in what I have planned for my street act. I dont think that it would go over too well in an audition environment.
-David Kaplan

By the way, I am in the process of getting a busking permit here in N.Y.C., so hopefully this summer, you can all come out and give me lots of $$$. I have a pretty good act planned. All things that have been tested and gotten good responses. I am not the most skilled person in the world, but I sure am creative.

Re: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

> Tel, I meant performance material (jokes, gags, segues) not props.
> -David Kaplan

Here’s a page of drop lines:

Just drop a lot. :wink:

I really appreciate everyone’s effort, but i just need something to do in a room for 10 mins in front of about 3 people. I want it to be interesting, not just me standing there saying “and I can do this, and this, and this…”
-David kaplan

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

>One of the most boring juggling performances I’ve seen was
>Cindy Marvel reading Shakespeare, while juggling FIVE clubs! Five clubs
>should not be so boring.

John, at the corporate library at which I work, we’ve developed a sort of
in-house dewey decimal system for the universe of topics of interest to the
company. I am planning on working up to juggling 3 clubs while holding one in a
chin balance WHILE having colleagues shout the subject headings at me. I will
return that subject heading’s number from memory. Could THAT possibly be
boring?

And while your dissing Cindy, just remember all that material she does that
works!

Cheers,
Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ

toastmasters

try n get hold of your local toastmasters club and c if u can get some advice and help on how to structure your audition so that everything u say fits in with the thread running thru the performance
your job will be to link this to the skills u r showing
dont be too afraid to pull your audience participation stuff on the panel
they would’ve had a pretty boring day by the time u get there

i would wish u good luck, but that’s got nothing to do with it

good skill!

namaste
dave

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

How about we all contribute the worst middle ages/juggling jokes we can make up
on the spot…

“I started out in England as an attorney. I juggled wives for Henry the eighth,
but I kept dropping parts. Back then I’d do anything to get a head.”

“For a while I considered becoming a knight, but I wanted a job that required
real balls.”

This could turn ugly, cuz I know Harper is next.

David Maxfield
Bainbridge Island, WA

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

The ghost of Anne Bolyn walks into a bar. And the bartender says, “Why the
wrong face?”

We used to go down to the beach where they hang the poor folks. Just to see if
the serf was up.

I had a nasty job taking care of the royal family’s purebred hounds. They were
so inbred, they were crazy half the time-and a lot of the dog’s were bitches
too.

David Maxfield
Bainbridge Island, WA

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

We just added professional-grade juggling torches to our catalog.
Here’s a link:

http://www.unicycle.com/shopping/shopexd.asp?id=544

Best regards,

John Drummond


1-800-Unicycle

-----Original Message-----
From: rsu-admin@unicycling.org [mailto:rsu-admin@unicycling.org] On
Behalf Of tel
Sent: Monday, April 15, 2002 6:48 PM
To: rsu@unicycling.org
Subject: Re: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

If you can already juggle knives, you shoulld juggle torches for the
festival(if they allow it). If you dont have any you can make your own
http://www.juggling.org/help/torches/making.html . I havent made them
yet, but I plan on making some as soon as I get good enought at juggling
clubs. Other than that I dont have any ideas, except some tennis balls,
or baseballs if its a little windy. Hope that helps.


tel

tel’s Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/562
View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/17503



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How’s about a few jokes of how daft Galileo and Copernicus are about not knowing that the earth is flat and the sun rotates around us. Good queue for some variations on flat spins and circular throws.

Maybe use juggling to demonstrate Newtons newfangled laws of motion?

Michelangelo lacks a sense of proportion, or in the case of his David a definate lack of portion? And as to Leonardo, what is he on? Those helicopter things of his will never work.

Marco Polo - goes all the way to China and what does he come back with? The recipe for spagetti! Should have asked my mama she makes me it every Thursday.

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

> I have a feeling the audition is in a room, maybe not too big, but
> probably acceptable for club juggling. No fire is allowed there, I
> assume no knives either.

Assuming you are auditioning for the types of shows I’ve seen at the Ren
Fair, you will be performing essentially a street show on grass. Crowds will
be similar. Now I may be wrong, but for the promoters to expect a different
kind of performance in an audition doesn’t make sense to me. Hopefully they
will understand an audience-related show, and be able to fill in for a crowd
that isn’t there.

> I dont think they will care about
> the unicycle stuff, because they didnt have
> Unicycles in the renaissance period.

I think it would be very cool for somebody to make one out of wood. The hard
part would be for it to be usable and long-lasting, but it would be a great
“legal” add to a ren fair show. You could probably get away with a steel
axle and cranks, just paint them black…

> The juggling/portrait drawing is done rather horribly, but that is the
> point. After all the hype of “I am going to juggle and paint
> at the same time” they laugh at the let down of a hideous drawing,

Sounds like a great act. I would stick with what you know works. If the
promoters don’t like it or can’t picture it in front of a crowd, you are
better off not working for them. Of course your performance will also have
to have the ability to draw the crowd in the first place… but you can
always start off by juggling some (unlit in the audition) torches or
something.

> Barnum talking about the 6 foot man-eating chicken, when it
> was actually a man who was 6 feet tall, and eating a bucket
> of chicken.

How about this one: “15 cents to see the Egress”

You pay the 15 cents, go through the door, and you’re outside. Barnum did
this at his American Museum (before the circuses). Patrons had to pay again
to get back in!

> tested and gotten good responses. I am not the most skilled person in
> the world, but I sure am creative.

The best street acts I’ve seen usually did not include high-skill stuff.
Maybe a few really hard tricks, but that wouldn’t be what people remembered
them for. Oh, and what I forgot to mention before, that boring 5-club act by
Cindy Marvel? That was at the NY Ren Fair in 1990 or so.

Stay on top,
John Foss, the Uni-Cyclone
jfoss@unicycling.com

“We were discussing Big Mac Meals. I think that has little if anything to do
with cow parts. There are probably more UNICYCLE parts in a Big Mac than cow
parts.” - Greg Harper on cuisine

There we go, thats the type of stuff I was looking for. David, Noel, those are great, and I am definately going to be able to work those in. I am going to use the DaVinci and Michelangelo with the juggling/painting bit, and I have some great ideas on how to use the others too. Thanks so much. Foss, I heard about the egress thing too. Clever.
Keep em coming, there’s no such thing as too much material. I actually asked my history teacher if he had any renaissance style jokes, and he said that he’ll think about it. Right now, I’m looking through my text book to see if i can come up with any more ideas that i can relate to juggling.
I’m going to see if I can get some of those globe balls for the flat/round earth thing.
Hmm… If there is a bad Anne Bolyn joke, I have not heard it.:smiley:
-David Kaplan

Re: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

>Hmm… If there is a bad Anne Bolyn joke, I have not heard it.

There’s the one about the really old bowling alley that didn’t allow Anne Bolyn
balls, cause they were too messy.

David Maxfield
Bainbridge Island, WA

RE: Juggling Not Unicycling. Emergency PLEASE HELP

I used to be a part of a prehistoric juggling act. We weren’t very good. We
called ourselves the Rolling Stones.

Forgive me. I’m spoiled. I was raised in a moated community.

Being from the middle ages, there’s a lot I don’t understand about your modern
world. Like cars for instance. How are those safety belts supposed to prevent
accidents? Just wear little strap across your lap? Now a chastity belt–that
prevents accidents.

What do milk maids put behind their ears to attract men? Their ankles.

Stop me before I offend myself…

You’re on a roll. Don’t stop now. When you’re onto something funny keep at it until someone tells you enough…at least three times.