JJuggle
February 15, 2006, 8:45am
1
Despite the title of the thread “chuck norris rides unicycle” I didn’t see anything in the list that actually indicated this is so.
Here’s one going around about Jack Bauer that is more to my heart.
• When Jack Bauer was a kid, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
• If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.
• You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
• When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
• When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
• In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world four times. What have you done with your life?
• Jack Bauer played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun – and won.
• Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
• Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal.
• Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast AFTER 10:30.
JJuggle
February 15, 2006, 10:45am
2
Since I hate to see a perfectly useless thread go nowhere - particularly one of my own - for what it’s worth, I believe that Jack Bauer would kick Chuck Norris’ ass any day without using a single round house kick. And this, despite being a fictional character to Chuck Norris’ actuality.
thos ejokes are all generalized…you can use anyname i that joke and its still not funny or funny…the name has no relavence.
JJuggle
February 15, 2006, 10:57am
4
I don’t think substituting Liberace for Jack Bauer in the above would work all that well. Although by your account it might be funnier or funnier.
what i meant was it will either be not funny or it will be funny
JJuggle
February 15, 2006, 11:18am
6
I was just trying to be funny…
…or not.
you guys are weird or weirdn’t
what if you substitue tylers name in for those?
those jokes are so irritating, its all a big fraud!!
because in the beginning all those comments (jokes) were made
and then some fool comes along and puts moron Chuck Norris’ name infront…
really quite sad actually!!
if u dont know who Mr. T is, then google him !!
u should be ashamed of urself if u dont know who he is lol
GILD
February 16, 2006, 2:54am
12
Cmon now, the MR T ones are easy to spot cause they’re got all the ‘pitying of fools’ stuff going on.To wit:
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That’s 100 fools pitied a second.
Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.
When asked what a pitying feels like, Mr. T responded “Rip off your own genetalia”.
There are also some lovely facts blurring the lines.
harper
February 16, 2006, 11:44am
13
I think that substituting Raphael Lasar for Jack Bauer improves this thread three ways.
Raphael Lasar actually does unicycle.
It makes it funny and funny and funnier and funnier.
Raphael Lasar redefines the expression “roundhouse kick” and only needs 23 hours.
JJuggle
February 16, 2006, 12:40pm
14
harper:
Raphael Lasar redefines the expression “roundhouse kick” and only needs 23 hours.
Are you suggesting that I erred on the side of making a mistake by making “roundhouse” two words instead of one?
Borges
February 16, 2006, 12:51pm
15
If it’s all the same to you, I’ll vote for Dolph (the facist hippo).
harper
February 16, 2006, 1:22pm
16
We both know that’s not what I’m suggesting. Good dodge, though.
Vin Diesel is also another person that has random facts!!
i found this good one, which includes all 3!!
"Mr. T, Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel have only met once, and that was when dinosaurs became extinct. They have never been together since!! "
JJuggle
February 17, 2006, 4:49am
18
PUHLEEZE.
Jack Bauer has chunks of guys like Vin Diesel in his stool.
paco
February 17, 2006, 10:57pm
19
Jack Bauer needs to chew his food more thoroughly…
trials2k:
those jokes are so irritating, its all a big fraud!!
I thought the jokes were made for Vin Diesel first.
either way, I don’t know who jack bauer is.
