i attepmted suicide earlier today

Off-topic
1

so first of all this is real, and im sure some of u are like “oh this is just some of the usual threads by brendon” but idc if u think that or not, but please dont post that kinda stuff here.

So im usually a very happy person, but the last 2 months or so ive been depressed for no reason, like i felt empty and alone like all the time and that feeling sucked,

and like 2 days ago i got in an argument with my mom and very rarely do i argue back, just cus u cant win against her lol, so i never bother, but this time i did and i told her i was gonna start calling her god, and on my phone i changed her name from moms cell to god lol.

But today i wasnt feeling to good and i had all these suicidal thots going on inside my mind like it has been lately, so i wrote myself a suicide note, a really long one to, like 4 pages long.
but i live in a christian home so the hole god thing is always in the back of my mind even tho i dont follow it a hole lot, but i park my car in the garage shut it, and was like “god if u exist give me a sign that u are real and a sign that i shuld actually be on this earth and that im not just wasting my time”

so i sat there for a minute or 2 and got nothing, so i started my car and sat there and after like 3-4 minutes i started feeling light headed and tired, and then i get a phone call, from my mom, but the caller ID thing says “God”. And i answer it ad shes all “Caren dont go to the meeting today, its canceled” and i was like “wat r u talking about” and shes all " Oh sorry brendon i got the wrong number"

And i started thinking coincidence possibly, but it culd have been something more maybe, I thot it was kinda creepy and i got goose bumps thinking about it right now, this probally happened like 4 hours ago but idk wat to think about al of this.

what do you guys think about it?

3

why culd they possibly go to jail for it?

4

Man, I can tell you as someone who’s come very close to dieing from trying to die and someone who’s known a whole lot of people who’ve done the same, sometimes making it, don’t try to kill yourself. It’s not worth it.
I’m so sorry you’re having thoughts and feeling like that right now. I can totally relate to the way your feeling. They come and go for me. Ask your parents to take you to a councellor or something. They could help with that.
But confide in your friends. They can help you. Even though lots of people tend to be mean to you here, we will be there to help you when you need it. You can always message me if you want help.

Don’t kill yourself. When you kill yourself, there’s no going back. You’re gone.
It will be something that will be a deep sorrow for all your friends and family for the rest of their lives.
You have a lot to offer the world. You have a beautiful soul. Don’t let the negatives over-whelm it.

I’m so glad you’re okay.
Remember, if you need any help at all, please PM me.

5

A number of reason probably.
Probably along the lines of child abuse.
Even if they weren’t treated you poorly.

On top of that, they wouldn’t have you in their lives anymore.
Suicide only creates more pain for those who are alive.
While you’re alive, you can make the world a much more beautiful place though. :slight_smile:

9

THIS.

Suicide is the most selfish thing I can think of doing. If someone’s feeling depressed and lonely and on the verge, I have sympathy for them, and try my best to help them. But if someone actually does it, I lose the pity, because there are soo many outlets that people can take advantage of if they’re in a low spot.

Sorry that was a bit of a rant…but that’s my opinion.

10

DUDE. GET HELP NOW! Your head is in a dangerous place, and you need to talk to people you trust. Tell your parents first. Don’t hold back. Counseling will do you a world of good. Whatever you do, don’t keep it to yourself. Now that you’ve told all of us, we’re compelled to do something. Imagine the effect on all of us if you try again and succeed! We should be calling your parents and telling them what you just told us.

But you should do it first.

I agree with Goats on the waiting thing. But you should wait until you’re at least 40 so you have some perspective on the whole “life” thing. :slight_smile:

Now get up, step away from the computer, and tell your parents ASAP. If they’re not home use a phone. Do it now.

11

Man, I sorry to hear this. I will tell you now that there is something better that you can do with your life instead of ending it. It has to do with the “hole god thing” you talked about. Don’t let thoughts of yourself consume you.

I know that God does sometime work outside of the normal realm of nature to get things done.

13

Just for clarification… I didn’t say that.
it was Jeremy who said that.

Having tried to kill myself several times, I can tell you that someone saying “wait until you’re older” sounds like the stupidest person in the world, even though they aren’t. But the feeling of despair and total sadness is so much, you just want to do it and get it over with as soon as you can.
You need to talk with your parents and a councellor.

You NEED to.
What you want is to feel better and enjoy life. They can help you do that.

14

That’s not good. I’m sorry to hear this; I hope it only gets better from now on.

You may want to go to the Dr and request a breath/blood test for carbon monoxide poisoning. It’s probably not needed due to the short exposure. Get outside for a few hours. Breathe some fresh air.

I’m not too sure about day-night ratios and such in Alaska, but SAD might be exacerbating the depression. A anti-SAD lamp is always a moral booster. Mine used give me the best wake up call I’ve ever had. Until I knocked it out of my window that is.

If you do – and I hope you do – go to a councillor/psychiatrist, don’t let them just stick you on anti depressants and pawn you off. That just covers the symptoms and does nothing for the underlying causes. Make sure there is some sort of therapy too.

I almost always carry a journal with me now. If something is getting me down or taking up too much run time of my brain, it goes in the journal. Sometimes that’s enough to get rid of it. Usually I then follow it up with a breakdown of what am I feeling/why am I feeling like this/who is causing it/how I can fix it, etc. I can then follow my own advice.

My top tip is to busy yourself, with activities, with people. Being sociable can make you a much happier person. Force yourself to go out and meet new people and ol friends. Depression usually made me a recluse.

15

Brendon, Thank God you got that call. Glad your OK.

16

thanks to eveyrone for there support and everyone who sent me PMs, but i dont think i can get myself to tell my mom, just cus it wuld brake her heart

but dont worry im not even gonna think about trying thast stuff. again, as soon as i turned the car off i started thinking about everyone i know and how much pain it wuld cause them, and that wuld be the most selfish thing i culd preobally do.

Like i thot of my 2 lttle sisters and how hurt they wuld be cus they look up to me so much, and how much my mom my mom has been threw her hole life and how this wuld jut mess it up even more, then i thot of my frends, ans i wuldnt wanna put that kinda pain in anybody, no matter how bad i feel, i never will try that again, and after the phone call, it felt like a big burden was lifted off my shoulders so i think/hopfully the depression thing is gone.

17

yeh, i usually am pretty sociable, like ive been told im the most popular guy in my school, but when u go to a school as small as mine it cant be that hard to acheive :p. and im usully always hanging out with someone outside of school, like i sed idk y i felt this way, but literlly like everyday as soon as i got by myself, i wuld just brake out in tears instantly for no reason at all, it is kinda weird lol

18

That’s exactlly how I am.
I have bipolar disorder. You might want to look into treatment for that or something similar.

I don’t take drugs for it. I usually bike it off or read, listen to music or play or write music. As long as I’m doing something I enjoy that requires me to think (taking my thoughts off the “alone feeling”), I’m alright.

I’d tell your mom that you’ve been feeling this way though. Don’t tell her about trying to kill yourself but tell her how bad it is.

19

How you doing Brendan?

Its a new day, go be whoever you want to be from now on, your body is constantly rebuilding itself so tell it to make you how you want to be,

If you built a house out of bricks and it fell down would you build it the same way next time?

And a little support goes a long way, like others said, talk to your parents or someone, there perspective may be just what you need

20

Brendon, I am glad to read that the accidental phone call stopped your attempt. Do try to talk to someone, preferrable a professional. And you should read up on SAD, and see if that could be affecting you. If so, a nice lamp will do a world of wonder.

I’ve had (and have) suicidal thoughts going on 25+ years now (probably started in my teen years). I think that it is better to stay alive. It disturbs me that I have these thoughts even though I have a beautiful baby daughter whom I love so much. In the end, those are just thoughts. Closest I’ve come is a gun in the mouth (not smart), and that was about 15 years ago.

21

How about grow up, and don’t be selfish. Suicide is the easy way out, and a selfish one at that, if you’re thinking there’s no-one there for you in your time of need, what about your family when they need you and you’re not there because you’ve topped yourself?. What on earth would a 17 year old want to commit suicide for anyway?

When my ex left me and took my son with her, I was pissed off to say the least. I worked my ass off for her and my son, just for her to throw it in my face and dissapear with him. What would suicide have done to better the situation? Shit all, it would have destroyed my family, given nosey people something to talk about saying ‘‘no wonder she left him’’. Also in the time since then I’d not have seen my niece, my parents marrying their partners, or met my current partner, and many other things. So I never contemplated suicide.

People make mistakes, people will screw you over, stuff will happen that you won’t like and will have a hard time dealing with, but also there’s plenty of good to be found if you look for it.

Life’s short enough kid, don’t make it any shorter.

22

The sun is rising earlier every day, sounds like everyone here needs a little more sunshine in their life.

23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9gk1PGZxaE

24

My friends are the only things that got me through my darkest times
goats has said all i could have, belive him, your friends will help you, it is a bond that runs deeper than you think,

and for the love of god for any parent who has ADHD kids ,DO NOT repeat DO NOT give them stratera,(Atomoxetine)

25

good times are always ahead.