After many years of hard work in paving the way for our kind to survive extra-temporal travel, it is time for a vacation. I have come to the year 2009 (when I would be -500 years old, hee hee!) to enjoy some fresh air, clean mineral oil, and a little relaxation.
Feel free to ask me anything about life in the 26th century.
Whats the world highjump record?
Whats the lightest uni?
How is David Spade faring?
You’ll have to be specific about which world you want the records from. I’ll assume Earth for now. Since your time, the IOC has allowed both doping and passive body implants, extending the high jump record from about 8 feet to just under 14 feet. I still can’t get used to the sight of those reverse-spring knee implants.
As for Unicycling technology, well, it has become a bit of a pedestrian sport with the advent of the compressed gyroscope. Sure, people still act like they’re losing their balance, waving arms and all, but it just doesn’t happen anymore. Anyways, materials science is all about carbon nanotubes in my time, providing the strength of heavy metal in the weight of a plastic equivalent. A classical unicycle (without any active components, aside from the gyroscopic hub) weighs about 5 lbs. I guess you could make it lighter if you removed the gyro, but who’d want to do that?
For posterity, his head has been stored in a jar of biologically-compatible preservative, and placed on display at the “Celebrity Guggenheim”. We didn’t see any need to preserve the brain, so we replaced it with a chip, cloned from the great comedian Conan O’Brien. No one can tell the difference between the two in my time, anyways.
Have you guys found Phillip J. Fry? (the original, not his brothers son)
I spose you could take him out of cryogenic freezing.
Also! Dr. Remulak, cows are extinct now arent they? I think Professor Farnsworth said something about that.
Guruni wishes to know if citizens of the 26th century have yet determined the meaning of life.
Is what we are doing with you know affecting your timeline? - Has this already happened before?
Do I ever find-a the six-fingered man?
Will I still be riding into my 80’s? Will I learn to crankflip and 360 unispin before the end of this year? 
Many 21st century cartoons have been archived for public viewing. Anyone can go to the library and watch Phillip J. Fry for free. Some of us still have a sense of humor in the 26th century!
Although we’re able to produce many animal-based foods synthetically (and quite well I might add!), some of society’s elites still own cows in my time. I can’t say they’re similar to the cows you know; in the late 21st century, genetic modification was performed on many types of livestock and produce “for the benefit of mankind”, perhaps forever obscuring the roots of many species.
Sadly, it seems technology has distracted many people from being concerned with such pursuits. The good news, however, is that religion-based conflict has all but disappeared by my time! I’ve read of many terrible wars and great atrocities performed in the name of one deity or another (was there really such a thing as the Spanish Inquisition?), and am glad to know people no longer fight to gain immaterial ends.
Ha! Nice try; I’m not going to help you with your metaphysics homework. You know, they still teach that question in our universities!
Well, if you were to jump forward, say, 50 years, you could find quite a few six-fingered people. There was another terrible accident at a nuclear power plant (I won’t give the details as I don’t want to cause any alarm) that resulted in many birth defects.
Why do people live on Mars? What do they do there? Are some forced to go there?
Would the album “21st century Breakdown” happen to be a peice of history in your time?
I thought Dr Who got rid off all the cybermen… that are you doing here?
Win.
It was billed as an exotic destination, so it drew a small crowd. Kinda like Las Vegas in the 20th century. Timeshares and all. Some people went back to Earth, others stayed, started a family, it blossomed from there. It’s still quite nice, if you don’t mind the artificial landscaping.
It is archived at the library with many other artifacts of 21st century pop culture, so it is a piece of history in that way.
If you’re asking about Green Day’s abilities to prophesize the future, keep in mind they’re just a few dudes that play catchy rock music. Nothing more.
Ah, Dr. Who! Y’know, of all the “oldies” my dad brought home from the library, this show was one of my favorites as a child!
Don’t be deceived by my appearance. It’s merely a necessity of time travel. I am still a being of flesh and blood, albeit from a different place and time.
This is not a contest to see who can say my name the most, so I can’t offer you a prize. You nailed the pronunciation, however, good work!
aww, I wasn’t even to any of the hard questions yet…
how about this - What are the forums like? No one’s still wasting their time on plain text IM, right? and Why did you decide to join the unicyclist forums anyway?
Doctor Remulak, how different is the english language of your time from our modern english? What languages are still in common use? Did you have difficulties adapting to (ancient for you) english of today? You seem quite proficient. Please give some examples of usage of english from the future.
