Ok, so the new skatepark that opened up near me is awesome, I’ve pretty much become known as a regular. I recognize some of the regular skaters and they acknowledge me when I show up. We’ve never had any personal conflict or anything, but never any friendly talks either. (ADHD and borderline Autistic, public, individual talking is tough for me unless I’m approached first.) During some night sessions I almost feel like I’m getting in their way. I’m obviously moving slower than they are, but I’m also staying out of their way, I completely understand skatepark etiquette.
I’m just unable to approach any of these individual people or small groups and ask them if I’m getting in their way. I’m not trying to be a scooter kid. I’m almost always working on lines or specific tricks in specific spots, I’m guessing that they can see that. I just hope that they don’t see me as a burden or an obstacle.
Any tips on how I might approach my local skaters, potentially make some friends, and make sure that I’m not a burden on their session?
(Please no responses like, “just say hello” or “cool shoes, bro”, it’s not that easy for me.)
Unfortunately, I myself can only offer an “I feel that” Striking a conversation isn’t my strong suit, which is something that unicycling helps do for me.
In the past, asking someone if they were ok after a bail was my usual approach to talking with someone new. These new skater kids have apparently learned to bail in a way so that they never fall down lol. They hit their feet every time and just walk away. Kind of frustrating actually, I anticipated “are you ok?” being my skater pickup line lol. They just never fall down lol
The first way (the easiest) is if they ask you about your unicycle, then you can just bring it up mid-conversation. The second way is lets say you are waiting in line to use one of the features if they tell you to go or you tell them to go then you can bring it up then, for example Skater: “you can go” You: “thanks, also I’m just wondering if I’m getting in your way or not?” The second is You: “you can go” Skater: “thanks” and before they leave say You: “Im just wondering if I’m getting in your way or not”. When you think about it its more respectful to just talk to them instead of not.
My daughter has speech difficulties and writing down what you want to say beforehand, on a 3x5 index card or similar size, might be an option. We did this briefly to help her with communicating. It can be tiring constantly explaining the same thing over and over to any new person you meet. More so if there’s no visible difference and people make negative assumptions of you when they hear impaired speech. Depending on your comfort level you could include a short description of communication difficulty hence the paper.
Dad mode side note: a decent person is respectful when someone has a hard time. They make accomodations and are willing to work with you to get to know you. They’ll help you overcome difficulties you may have when communicating. There are also turds who can’t help being mean. Thankfully in my experience the you encounter are less frequent.
I think the positivity of your attitude speaks volumes, and I’m sure in time conversations will develop naturally.
Hang in there with your great attitude and respect.
Maybe complement one of them if they do a neat trick near you. If it starts a conversation, then you can ask them, “Hey, am I getting in your way?” Even if you don’t approach them, I’m sure there’ll be some natural contact that’ll help you connect with them. Being friendly and smiling makes a huge difference when you’re talking to people, especially if you ask questions.
I really sympathise with you here, I’m shy and conversation isn’t natural for me.
Striking a conversation isn’t my strong suit, which is something that unicycling helps do for me.
you encounter are less frequent.