Highways
It had been a quiet night at the local bar so far, but then the door was thrown open and an
Interstate highway strode in. “I’m an Inter- state highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to
coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the
highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m afraid of no highway and
no road.” He then strode up to the bar, ordered a beer, and began drinking it, while looking around.
A short time later, a four-lane highway came in, went to the end of the bar, and ordered a beer. The
Interstate looked him over and walked over to him. “I’m an Interstate highway,” he declared. “I
stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire
length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m not
afraid of you.”
The four-lane highway said “I agree that you’re the best. I don’t want any trouble with you. Let me
buy you a beer”, and he did. They drank their beers and discussed their engineering specifications.
After a half hour, the door opened again and a two-lane road came in, went to the other end of the
bar, and ordered a beer. The Interstate looked him over and told the four-lane highway that he had
to take care of the new arrival. He walked over to the two-lane road and said “I’m an Interstate
highway. I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost
my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and
I’m not afraid of you.”
The two-lane road quivered a bit and said “You’re absolutely right. You are the best of the
highways. I’m just a lowly two-lane road. I don’t want any trouble. Can I buy beers for you and the
four-lane highway?” The Interstate motioned the four-lane highway to come over, the two-lane road
bought beers for each of them, and the three of them drank their beers and discussed the merits of
various paving materials.
After another half hour, the door opened again and a strip of asphalt about eight feet wide came in.
The Interstate highway ducked behind the bar and hid there quivering quietly. The bartender was
shocked. After serving the asphalt strip, he walked over to where the Interstate was hiding. “I
watched you stand up to the four-lane highway and the two-lane road. You said you weren’t afraid of
any highway or road. Why are you hiding from that little asphalt strip?”
The Interstate replied quietly, “It’s true that I’m not afraid of any highway or road, but he’s a
cycle path.”
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