A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. A
male survivor found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no
other people, no supplies, nothing.

Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this chap had no idea
what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut
juice and longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea,
hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach,
he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat,
and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up
to him. In disbelief, he asked her, “Where did you come from? How did
you get here?”

“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she said. “I landed here
when my cruise ship sank.”

“Amazing,” he said. “I didn’t know anyone else had survived. How many
are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.”

“It’s only me,” she said, “and the rowboat didn’t wash up; nothing

He was confused. “Then where did you get the rowboat?”

“Oh, simple,” replied the woman. “I made the rowboat out of materials
that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree
branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern
came from a Eucalyptus tree.”

“B-B-But that’s impossible,” stuttered the man. “You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?”

“Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “On the other side of
the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I
found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it
melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used
the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that,” she said. “Where
do you live?”

Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
whole time.

“Well, let’s row over to my place, then,” she suggested. After a
short time rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man
looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the
house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit
down, please; would you like a drink?”

“No, no thank you,” he said, still dazed. "I’m sick to death of “coconut

“It’s not coconut juice,” the woman replied. “I have a still. How
about a Pina Colada?”

Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on
her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman
announced, “I’m going to slip into something comfortable. Would you
like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the
bathroom cabinet.”

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom.

There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells
honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a
swivel mechanism. “This woman is amazing,” he mused. “What next?”

When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines,
strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of fine perfume. She
beckoned for him to sit down next to her. “Tell me,” she began,
suggestively, slithering closer to him, “we’ve been out here for a
very long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for
all these months. You know…” She stared into his eyes.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You mean–?” he replied, “I
can log onto rec.sport.unicycling from here?”

Found posted on the uk.radio.amateur newsgroup (slight editing obvious!).


Now that was good.
-David Kaplan


that was a good one.
Do you have a ham radio callsign? Mine is DK4BC.

Re: HeHe

Fred said…

Do you have a ham radio callsign? Mine is DK4BC.

Sorry mate. I have been scouring through the AR newsgroups for some info
about PMR-446 radios. I need a set for work and though I might find some
useful info. I used to be a complete cb fanatic when I was a kid so it has
been a bit nostalgic.

David Straitjacket

Re: HeHe



Re: HeHe

>He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You mean–?” he replied, “I
>can log onto rec.sport.unicycling from here?”

So he did not want to ride a uni rather than just “read a uni”?
I bet she could make him a unicycle…

// Staffan Palm, Sweden

Sounds like she should team up with Tommi at the Unicycle Factory and together they would be able to actually make that “auto-balance unicycle.” Hmm maybe it will be ready for April 1, 2002.
-David Kaplan