Gentile Jokes

A gentile goes into a clothing store and says, “This is a very fine jacket.
How much is it?”
The salesman says, “It’s $500.”
The gentile says, “OK, I’ll take it.”


Two gentiles meet on the street.
The first one says, “You own your own business, don’t you?
How’s it going?”
The other gentile says, “Just great! Thanks for asking!”


Two gentile mothers meet on the street and start talking about children.
Gentile mother 1 (said with pride): " My son is a construction worker!"
Gentile mother 2 (said with more pride): “My son is a truck driver!”


A man calls his mother and says, “Mother, I know you’re expecting
me for dinner this evening, but something important has come up and I can’t make it.”
His mother says, “OK.”


A gentile couple goes to a nice restaurant.
The man says: “I’ll have the steak and a baked potato, and my
wife will have the julienne salad with house dressing.
We’ll both have coffee.”
The waiter asks, “How would you like your steak and salad prepared?”
The man says, “I’d like the steak medium…the salad is fine as is.”
The waiter says, “Thank you.”


A gentile man calls his elderly mother.
He asks, “Mom, how are you feeling?
Do you need anything?”
She says, “I’m feeling fine, and I don’t need anything.
Thanks for calling.”


Now you know why there are no gentile jokes.

Note to Gentiles: I posted this because I found it amusing. If you are offended, I apologize. Please don’t go on a riotous rampage burning synogogues or attacking or murdering Jews. - RL

hahahaha, I was laughing through reading that whole thing!!

whats a gentile?

It’s a polite term for “goy”. :wink:

i think what you meant to ask is “what’s a dictionary?”

We’re all still mad about this joke:

Gentile Doctor: I’d like to circumcise your son.
Gentile: OK.

Never let an amateur perform a circumcision.

I think I still prefer Hittite jokes. :slight_smile:

That was actually pretty funny.

Bruce, I know you may or may not find this believable, but my father made a serious albeit amateur study of the Hitittes. I can’t tell you much about them but I recall many a conversation dealing with their ancient history.

Those are Jewish jokes (or Jewish jokes about Gentiles). Obviously they’re not very funny to Gentiles! :slight_smile:

A Gentile is in a restarurant with his wife.

Gentile: What are the specials.
Waiter: Pork Chops.
Gentile: Sounds good I’ll have that.

That’s a good one.

Me and my two other Jewish roomates found ourselves eating porkchops for dinner on Yom Kippur in 1979. One of our other roomates’ visiting Ukranian grandmother, Ukrainian Orthodox that she was, was scandalized. It was an honest mistake, honest. Two of us lived past 25 at least.

If your going to eat pork, you really should eat Bacon. It is the best cut.:smiley:

Why did the Hittite fail his drivers test?
He didn’t distinguish between the yellow and green light!

HAHA! Get it? Didn’t distinguish… :smiley:

'cause it’s the same word in the Hittite language, duh!

<sigh> Never mind.

Now you know why there are no Hittite jokes.

Yes, indeed. And these are kosher too!

I love the little whooshing sounds these made as they flew over my head.

:frowning:

My wife and I enjoyed the jokes.

[OT]Better yet, just don’t do it![/OT]

little bit SUS ,But that was good

Apparently Obama is the new gentile.

Seems much is being made that there’s not much funny about this guy. The TV late night writers claim that they’re not coming up with Obama jokes not because he’s black and they’re treading lightly, but because there just isn’t much material.

Here’s a laugher circulating about him:

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, ‘I was expecting the farmer’s daughter.’ Barack Obama replies, ‘She’s not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American dream.’ ”