Gallery of Cleaning Jokes

Off-topic
1

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV the old man shouted …

"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN

Dont spend $5 to dryclean your shirt, donate it to the salvos/vinnies instead.
They will clean it and put it on a hanger. the next morning go in and buy it for $2

How long does it take your average man to vacume the floor?
No one knows, it has never happened.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the bathhouse, he was all dirty.

hehe, Dads are great.

2

Only you tom, :roll_eyes:

3

Not only him.

I want to post some cleaning jokes, but I can’t think of any.

I’m gonna have to ask my Dad.

4

Just make them up! Dad only told me the first two. hence the second two are kinda dodgy :stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks thejdw… i think.

What’s the only thing in the world that cleans the bathroom better than disinfectant?
A woman.

5

I’m only good at making up pink fluff jokes.

I’ll still have a go at this. Just give me time.

6

How many Bars of soap does it take to clean a dirty dinosour?

No one knows, they where extinct years before soap was invented.

7

Why is soap slippery?

Because the structure of soap molecues is such that, in presence of water, they tend to build up a thin, liquid-like film at the surface of a solid, which allows objects to glide easily against each other.

Cleaning-related, funny and educational.

8

how Borring:o

9

I don’t know about funny, but very educational and cleaning related.:slight_smile:

10

i only know german ones and most of them aren´t good if they are translated into english…i know a joke of uncle fritz he has got a car without seat…:frowning:

11

Post it in German. We’ll put it in the Google translator and even if it’s not funny in English the (poor) translation will add enough humor for us to enjoy it.

12

okeeeeeeeee…könnts zwar auch selber übersetzten, aber wenn du meinst…:smiley:

Sitzt ein Eisbärenkind mit seiner Mutter auf einer Eisscholle. Fragt das Kind: “Du Mami, ist Papi ein Eisbär?”, antwortet die Mutter: “Ja.”
“Ist Bruder ein Eisbär?”
“Ja.”
“Ist Schwester ein Eisbär?”
“Ja”
“Bist du ein Eisbär?”
“Ja.”
“Bin ich ein Eisbär?”
“Ja.”
“Aber mir ist kalt.”
:D:D:D

if anybody want that i translate it just ask me :slight_smile:

Edit: ä = ae =)

13

Maybe there’s a misspelling cause I got this…

14

:D:D:D:D:D
sorry…try it with the one i´ve already corrected. so write “eisbär” f.e. “Eisbär” and so on :slight_smile:
maybe it works this way^^

EDIT:…i´m going to translate it^^

15

a polar bear kid sits with his mother on a sheet of ice asks the kid: “mommy is daddy a polar bear?” the mother replied: “yes.”
“is my brother a polar bear?”
“yes”
“is my sister a polar bear?”
“yes”
“are you a polar bear?”
“yes”
“am i a polar bear?”
“yes”
“But I am cold.”

for everybody wanting to know…here it´s in english. this one could be funny :slight_smile:

16

The ending in Slovenia goes by the polar bear saying: Then why am I cold as a dog (cold as a dog is a phrase we use, so it probably doesn’t make any sense in English)

17

this is all well and good but where is the cleaning connection?

makes me sick as a dog.

(triball loved your soap joke)

18

Sehr lustig…NICHTS!

Eigentlich, verstehe ich nicht. Ich verstehe die Worte, aber nicht der Sinn.

19

no mas, no mas. Hablas por telefono en german. No en el forums-o.

20

¿Qué? ¿No sabes como se dice Alemán en Español? ¿O como se dice foro? Eres muy estupido, ¿no?