Funerals

Off-topic
1

OK i’m throwing this out to the floor because I can’t work it out for myself. An old school friend died just before xmas in a tragic accident on a skiing holiday. He wasn’t a close friend and I haven’t really spoken to him for the last three years except when i’ve run in to him (we also went to the same university). However he was always friendly and genreally a good guy. His funeral is tomorrow, back home and i can’t decide whether to go or not. On one hand I feel I should go to support his family and to see him off. On the other hand i’m worried people will question why I went when i wasn’t a close friend, and it will involve meeting people from school that I don’t particularly want to meet again. Also ofc it’s time/money/effort, and I have no idea what to wear.

So what do you all think?

2

go, i have probably been to more funerals (of relitives) than most people on this forum and i can’t tell you enough how much it means to have other people (friends, aquaintences) there. It means so much just to have support throught a tough time.

3

I would bet that if you decided to remain home, no one would think anything otherwise. The focus will not be on who’s there and who’s not but instead will be on remembering the departed. Additionally, a well thought-out card sent in the mail or a genuine personal “I’m so sorry” if you happen to bump into them on the street will mean just as much.

4

No one will question why you went. If anything, it shows that this person had an impact beyond his immediate circle of family and friends.

5

Sorry about you losing an old chum. Mortality bangs on your door pretty hard, doesn’t it? Do what you think is right. It doesn’t matter what others think, just you. Your mate isn’t going to scold you either way. You’re already thinking of him anyway.

6

Ditto what Harper and Mscalisi said. It sound like you knew him well enough and his passing mattered to you. As far as what to wear… it doesn’t have to be dreary and black, just low key, nothing flashy.

7

Yeah, I wouldn’t take your unicycle if I were you.

8

I’d like to thank all of you (except possibly blue) for making really helpful comments and suggestions. In the end I didn’t go, I decided it would be a traumatic experience for me, and really wasn’t something i needed to do to move on. Apparently the church was full to bursting so he got a good send off.

3 years after leaving school, that’s 2 out of the 108 guys in my years now. Really does make you wonder.