Last week, I was heading down a winding road in the mist of a wintery day reminissing about my MUni ride just earlier. As I am driving down the winding road, I spy a Sheriff’s 4 x 4 coming up the road. As I drive by, I notice in my rear view mirror, that he has turned around.
Oh, nuts, I search for my radar detector. Dang, I never mounted it as I always stow it under the seat when I park for a ride. Forgot - ugghhh
Was I going too fast, did he “zap” me? I calm myself by telling myself, that it’s just a coincidence that he turned around. Must have gotten a call.
Then, I realize, I am not sure of the speed limit. How much is the limit on this road I wonder? I have only driven it three times earlier in the past 8 months. Is it 30 or 35, I slow to a crawling 30.
Okay, so I get to the main road just about two minutes below. Still waiting for the lights to come on, or maybe he will go the other way. It’s a T- bone intersection.
I come to a complete stop. He continues to follow me.
Nuts, what’s the darn speed limit on the main road? It winds, and I usually do 45 on the gently winding road. Theres one of those big dips in the road where if you hit it at 60 you feel the G - forces. But, I didn’t do that, then.
We drive “together” - Is he following ME or is he waiting for a pullout, as there wern’t any.
Sure enough. Up comes a shoulder and I see the lights go on. Okay, what do do? I haven’t been pulled over in a car before, only on my motorcycle 20 years ago. I open the right side window, remotely. Thinking that they always come up on the right side for their own safety. I gaze at the deputy. I say, " Hi". The deputy smiles and says, " Look at my partner", and points to the driverside window. uhhh, okay, I thought. It was almost comical. I turn, and there is the other Deputy standing there, smilling hands on hips.
I say, “Hi”, again. Ohhh, here it comes. I was speeding.
He says, just like in the movies, " Sir, did you know your headlight was out?"
I have the abbidabs, I speak too honestly, and give him this story about noticing it two days ago and smacking my hand against it to get it to go back on. This really did work. I think, or crap, he is going to give me one of those “fix it” tickets. Like I want to spend my time driving down to the Sherrif’s substation after I replace the bulb.
I had a new bulb in my car as a spare.
And, like in the movies, he asks me for my ID. I reach into my backback and pull out my drivers license with some money wrapped around it. Ohhh, does he think I want to pay him off. Nahhhh, that was silly.
They were ones anyway.
I hand him my license AND my renewal that I had obtained, YES, just yesterday. I was jubilant inside. “Neeener Neeener Neeener, you can’t catch me, hehehehehe”.
I wondered if my smile was just too happy looking. I had been two weeks overdue on my renewal and had rushed into DMV just the prior day to get the renewal.
Anyway, the smiling officer on my side notices my 661s on my knees. I often forget to take them off when I finish riding. I tell him that I mountain unicycle. He says, "What?, no way?
Suddenly, I hear the other deputy on the other side, go " Hey, can I see it? There is excitement in his voice.
I am dumbstruck.
I say, " Yeah, sure, just open the rear back door."
I hear him open the back door, then the kicker, I hear, " OHHHH, S–T! he blurts out. …what? Of all the responses, I never ever imagined that one.
In hindsight, I should have asked him if he wanted to try it.
I really wanted to bust up.
They let me go.