Lewis moved into Unicycling Aristocracey with the aquisition of a 24" Hunter. As his pool boy, man-de-camp, and occasional friend, I have certain privlages- primary amongst those getting the keys to his new ride when he ain’t allready up on it.
First, I must say that the gimpy assed United seat that is on the Hunter untell the Miyata gets here is a travisty. Nuff said. The frame is adiquetly cool, solid, and red- the thin duel down tubes ain’t never going to be getting in your way. And they’re Boss.
Now that I have paid my respects to the frame, let’s move on to that fat-assed tire. You know the one I’m talk’n about. You’ve had your eye on Her- admit it. Probably thought She was too much for ya. Shit. You don’t know the half of it- She got skills. She got so much skill, you can lighten your load and leave some at home. The 3" Gazz is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Only problem with it is, you be up on it and be still standing so long you forget what you came to do.
Sure, the Gazz seems a little heavy at first- but no wories, I already told you She got skills. She eats up roots and pot holes and small animals and shit before you knew those knobby fingers had touched 'em. Damn. You’ll be get’n lazy and shit, forget’n to hop. But when you do, it’s like ‘bionic time’. You listen close, you can hear the sound, Man. You’ll forget all about that weight thang. You ever hear Steve Gordon say “Hey Rooty, these Bionic legs 'a touch heavy- really cramp my style when jumpen over walls and buildins and shit.” -hell no. Nor will you- so forget about it. Maybe you had some ideas about pre-hop and compression- prepare to adjust your set. This baby goes DOWN, Man, then sends you on your way with a peck on the cheek, don’t forget to land, thank-you-very-much. The first time you get launched you’ll be thinking that toe clips ain’t such a bad idea; then you’ll be looking down at your ride think’n it would be a good idea to hang on a bit tighter next time.
I know what you’re think’n: Man, it ain’t all that- my ride do me just fine. That’s cool- you’re style’n on your pimp 2.1" wheel with it’s luxurious 1" of rim biting compression. More power to ya. Meenwhile, I’m riding backward without care- backward while doing drops and shit 'cus I got me a fine crafted, +3 enchanted magical Wheel-o-The Gods-
Here I am get’n all ahead of myself- just about reached the end of this tale, and hain’t no sign of the title anywere. Those stairs you’ve been tremble’n at the top of? You get Gazzed and they your bitch. That drop you work your way across instead of taking? Yo’ bitch, too. Hain’t never had what it takes to seat out front hop? -that’s right, you be seat out front hopping like you and the seat just met and ain’t real familiar. You’ll be doing 2 meter seat out front figure eights before you get to first base with that seat. Damn- the hole world be your bit-
Uh… what’s that, Lewis? You- you want it back? (Damn).
Christopher
