I listened to this while driving last night, I’m sorry you’re feeing the way you are just now.
I’m not going to try to offer any sagely advice since, from experience, the best intentions and advice folk proffer sometimes just doesn’t help, but for what it’s worth I can empathise completely with you – life can get in the way of things.
Anyhow, I look forward to your podcasts – they’ve made me feel better about things on several occasions, so thanks for that, you’ve helped me out for sure. Hopefully you get through this drought sometime soon and you get that Mad4One earning its keep 
All the best.