This morning I was riding through Mansfield’s notorious ‘Desert’ - an area of old quarry land where the local kids go to participate in the ancient tradition of torching stolen cars. It’s a horrible place, but it offers many topographical challenges to the aspiring unicyclist.
I was riding under a bridge, my tyre crunching over the remains of windscreens and headlights, clattering over pieces of rusted metal, and struggling to find a rideable and puncture-free route (I succeeded) when I met two young tearaways on BMX bikes.
One of them quickly noticed my 36 inch wheel, cycle helmet, mittens, cycling leggings, waistpack, stopwatch, and all the other accoutrements of the highly tuned athlete in training, and made a speedy deduction:
“You training for the circus?” he asked, his face a picture of contempt.
“No, training for the Red Bull,” I replied, casually.
“Whassat then?”
“A 24 hour off road race.”
“What on a unicycle? Isn’t that hard?” His face was a picture of confusion and, I flatter myself, admiration.
“Yes,” I responded, wittily.
“Wow. Good luck then!” This said with apparent sincerity.
So, whether or not you are in the Red Bull, or any similar local event, I have to recommend this as a jolly good response to the, “Are you training for the circus?” gambit. Bluff - I don’t suppose your interlocutor will go and check the list of entrants…
Yesterday, I was DOUBLE circused. By brother and sister tag team. It was precious!
I was in a park next to the small building with the rest rooms. I kept trying to navigate off the sidewalk and through a rut – anyway, I was riding, but not leaving the area.
A little kid walks up to me and the conversations goes like this.
Tiny Boy - What are you doing?
Me - I’m practicing riding my unicycle.
Tiny Boy - Are you a clown?
Me - No, I’m not a clown.
Tiny Boy - So why do you do it?
Me - Because it’s FUN!
Tiny Boy - Oh.
[his tiny sister now walks out of the rest room and comes over, almost as if on cue]
Tiny Boy (to sister) - He’s practicing riding his unicycle.
Tiny Girl (to brother) - Is he a clown?
Tiny Boy (to sister) - No, he’s just doing it because it’s fun.
That whole family must have been to the circus recently. The difference between my encounter and Mikefule’s is that these people were CUTE and SINCERE. They just wanted information.
But I suppose anyone who asks if you are a clown or if you are in the circus (unless they are obviously being sarcastic or derisive) is asking sincerely. They just don’t know.
Thanks again for the lovely prose. It’s nice to read a piece that takes you right into the experience. Please keep it up. Encounters 2 and 3 were equally entertaining.
The fact that they are sincere doesn’t make the question less rude.
I like “No, are you?” as a response; the ones who aren’t dullards might
at least realize they were being rude when the question is turned around.
-Tom
Of course it does! Come on - you may have heard the questions a dozen times that day, but they’ve only asked it once.
I get the circus stuff too (and I don’t much like it either) but really if it’s well meant you can’t get too upset. The question is pretty natural - people mostly see unicycles at circuses.
It’s one thing if people remember the last unicyclist they saw was a clown - let’s not make the last one they remember be some creep that gave them attitude for asking an innocent question!
Tim
(of course, that doesn’t mean we can’t vent later, among friends… )
I get the clown thing all the time, but only because my wife likes to heckle me. I’ll be riding in the driveway and she’ll come out on the front porch and call me a clown and start humming the circus theme…
I see these comments as nice. I am not offended at all by circus comments, other wheel comments etc.
Think of it this way:
All of the sudden, from out of nowhere, a unicyclist appears in the unsuspecting civilian’s life. They are never prepared for this odd occurance. I get most comments from people 1 or 2 seconds after they lay eyes on me.
So they dig into their brains and pull out whatever they can to say something to us. They are simply trying to make a connection to the odd yet harmless thing. I equate it to them saying “that’s neat, you’re cool, see ya later”.
Smile, be nice. These are often the people who go buy unicycles and you’ve got another pal with which to ride. Soon, we’ll change what’s down in everyone’s brain, and they’ll say new stuff.
I’ve already gotten a few “I saw some guy on cable jumping over boulders!” (I said, “that was me!”)(“not”)
To the nasty commenters, say whatever you want. I’d love to carry a paint-ball gun.
)I’m sure if you think about it you’ll see the difference.
Miss Manners is pretty clear that asking someone about their occupation
is rude in the first place. And specifically asking if someone is a clown
is worse, because “clown” is a perjorative term:
Clown \Clown\ (kloun), n. [Cf. Icel. klunni a clumsy, boorish
fellow, North Fries. kl["o]nne clown, dial. Sw. klunn log,
Dan. klunt log, block, and E. clump, n.]
A man of coarse nature and manners; an awkward fellow; an
ill-bred person; a boor. --Sir P. Sidney.
clown
n 1: a rude or vulgar fool [syn: {buffoon}]
This is why I feel “No, are you?” is effective. Certainly it’s no
ruder than the original question. Now, Miss Manners would chide me
for returning rudeness with rudeness, and would suggest a response
which is not directly rude but which points out to the offender that
their question was rude. She’d suggest something like “oh my goodness
no, I think clowns are vulgar buffoons.”
-Tom
OK, good. Now we’re back to the question of the question. It’s pretty clear to me that the question uses clown in another sense:
(from www.m-w.com):
Main Entry: clown
3 a : a fool, jester, or comedian in an entertainment (as a play); specifically : a grotesquely dressed comedy performer in a circus
Leaving aside the “grotesquely dressed” part of the deal (which is a matter of taste, really), I assume they think we’re from the circus, maybe practising for the show. It’s really not a totally unreasonable assumption given that the circus is where most people are used to seeing unicycles.
Remember we’re talking about the “nice” people who ask the question sincerely. They’d have no reason to think we’re “rude or vulgar fool[s]” unless we give them one. That’s my point.
Your editing of the definition of “clown” betrays the prejudice from which springs your conclusion that the question “Are you a clown?” is always rude.
It’s been said in this forum before, and bears repeating, that professional and amateur clowns alike train and practice to perfect their craft, and do so to entertain others and make them laugh.
Naturally, if you despise someone, you won’t feel good about being compared to them. All the same, it is rather unenlightened of you to arbitrarily despise such a harmless yet entertaining profession. Clowns neither spread disease, substance abuse, nor corruption of public officials. They do not start wars, produce weapons of mass destruction, or discharge firearms in post offices or high schools. They do not bilk retirees and pensioners of their measly savings with promises of pie in the sky, and they don’t make empty promises about taxes and the economy.
In addition to their varied entertaining talents, many of them can ride unicycles as well as, if not better than, you or I. Yet, somehow, I can’t imagine someone over on The Clown Forum posting disparagingly about someone who asked him or her if they were a Munieer. The average person’s first or only previous encounter with a unicyclist is at the circus. Regardless of what “Miss Manners” would say, rudeness from one hostile “non-clown” on a unicycle is going to leave an indelible impression on that average person’s mind about unicyclists.
Also as said on this forum before…
some people have pretty thin skins.
If people’s reactions to your unicycling makes you so unhappy, maybe you should quit.
Fool wrote:
> I think that there are three ways to react to a unicycle:
>
> 1 Stupidity, yell abuse, push them off (yes its happened to me, I
> landed in the hedge not the road thankfully).
>
> 2 The standard “where is the other one”, “Are you in a circus” that’s
> shows some (but not much thought).
>
> And finally my favorite…
> 3 Observer thinks about situation, realizes that the unicycle has only
> got one wheel and says something sensible or encouraging.
>
> The three groups are directly related to the mental capacity of the
> observer.
>
> If anyone knows how to cull group 1
Yes, but you don’t want to know.
> and selectively breed in favor of 3…
Hit on them, if they’re pretty girl merciful angel types.
>
> The Unicycling Fool
–
How bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam
Hussein?
–Bill Maher
Memphis Mud wrote:
> I see these comments as nice. I am not offended at all by circus
> comments, other wheel comments etc.
I don’t get 'em, the “Are you with a circus?” questions. I figure when I
start getting them, that’ll mean I’ve improved enough someone has confused
me - briefly! - with a professional. I’ll be flattered.
I didn’t “edit” the definition–I provided the primary definition,
from two different sources.
There is also an art of clowning, and if the person uttering the rude
comment thinks that clowns are the greatest thing in the world, they
will be flattered by my question to them, right?
But really, my opinion and the questioner’s opinion about clowning
are irrelevant to the discussion. “Are you an investment banker?” is
also a rude question. The perjorative aspects of the term “clown”
just make the offense more egregious.
)
) […dozens of lines of commentary missing the point deleted…]
)
)Also as said on this forum before…
)
)some people have pretty thin skins.
)
