Duncans write up on the Elan Valley Polaris MUniphsycosis?
The POLARIS CHALLENGE, claimed by some to be the UK’s roughest’n toughest
mountain bike happening. Two days of eyeballs out hammertime that compels hard
time competitors to thrash the limits of human stamina and endurance.
Competitors who boldly compete in an event equivalent to the worst sado /
masochistic nightmare Mr Joe public once had after O.D’ing on free gin and
stilton at the works crimble do. But is it possible that these competitors who
embody the spirit of bold wilderness pioneers or modern-day wasteland
adventurers have a weakness? Is there something they fear? A thing so terrible
that it is only whispered to their closest confidants? Something that makes them
question their fundamental MTB beliefs? Yup there is.
They are scared s***less at being stuffed by the one team who are more unstable
than themselves, You guessed it buddy I’m talkin’ MUni mahem! and by god were
some scalps taken at the last event in Wales, Yassu-Yass.
>From a total of 564 teams 176 had to bite the bullet on Sunday night, that’s
about one third of the field who were riding Hi-tech, indexed, multi-ratio,
free-wheeling, state-of-the-art dinosaurs. Beaten by 26" PASHLEY prototype
MUni’s which worked like a dream and amassed an embarassingly large but
beautifully formed score of 254 points in about 11hrs gross pedalling time
(50miles total distance).
What was even better was that we could actually walk after the event (well Andy
had plenty practice didn’t you bro? hint:next time take the Muni when you
travel!). I also didn’t end up feeling that parts of my anatomy had been
misplaced. Sadly I also grilled my hands again messin’ with the fire clubs at
the half way camp, you would think that even I would have learned my lesson by
now. After seven hours in the saddle juggling is the last thing my body wants to
do. In the process I scared the socks off some snoozing competitors who must
have thought Armageddon had arrived 'cos their tents were just a teensy bit
close to the open space I was using in front of the marquee, Oops! But what
about Roger? you may ask, well, let’s just say that maybe carbon fibre doesn’t
like getting wet or possibly araldite can’t stand heights 'cos sadly Roger and
partner didn’t come out to play. Maybe next time guys? No more excuses eh? You
never know maybe we’ll even see some other MUni teams by then? or Is that the
sound of hacksaws on Hi-tech MTB frames I can hear.
(ENDS). If anyone want’s to use this in any publications it’s ok provided you
send me a copy (contact thro’ Roger Davies) also Steve Behr @ Stockfile 01344
844395/872249 has the photos (but it might cost you)