Does your spouse support or oppose your Unicycling

[johnfoss]

@harper

Your wife is correct on all 6 counts.

Well, there’s that…

@ruari

…she does strongly object to the idea of my getting a penny farthing because it takes up a lot of space and she fully expects me to break my neck.

@Setonix

They are both afraid they will fall off and break their necks.

@"wobblysteve

4. Where are you going? You better not come crying to me when you break your neck!

Why is it always the neck? Broken necks are relatively rare in this sport!

@wobbling bear

…she knows it helps me feel (and look!) younger (after all she also practices sports that help her feel -and look- younger)

What sports does your wife do, if I may inquire? Always looking for ways to shave a few more years off… (no, really for my wife)

@"wobbling bear

…since I practice mostly muni she is sometimes worried that I may hurt myself in the woods.

She always wants me to tell her where I’m riding if I go alone. This is a sensible idea since I like the “interesting” trails. She requests a call or text at the start and the end of the ride, so she knows I’m okay, or otherwise knows where to send the search party.

@Gockie

So, he is supportive, but only wants me to ride unicycles I can mount independently on trips.

That’s good advice. Just keep working on that 36er freemount! Though those big wheels can be a pain to fly with…

@wobblysteve

1. You look like a complete idiot trying to balance that thing.
2. Your only doing this for attention… I’m going to ignore you…
3. When you have finished trying to be a Circus clown, can you please do something productive like mop the floors and do the vacuming.
4. Where are you going? You better not come crying to me when you break your neck!
5. How embarrasing, please dont ever mention anything about your stupid unicycle to my friends…
6. [Talking to my kids] - Yes, he bought a Unicycle, I’m afraid your father has developed dementia.

Ouch! She doesn’t seem happy about your unicycling at all. Has she said why? Possible reasons:

• She's authentically worried about you getting hurt
• She's worried about what others will think; and apparently how this will reflect on what they'll think of her
• She objects to all the time you're spending on your new hobby, which is time not spent with her
• She feels intimidated by what you're doing, believing she could never do it and therefore feeling left out and/or abandoned
• She is worried about your developing dimentia problem
• She thinks you'll use it as an excuse to not do chores

On the upside, your list didn't include anything about money spent. Don't worry, she'll probably get to that as soon as you buy your second uni. :)

But that list, as a whole, is very concerning. Have the two of you been married for long? If so, it’s a pretty harsh reaction. Let her know you still love her, and you will continue to mop and vacuum.

Or seek counseling.

As for my wife:
She married a guy she already knew had a serious unicycling habit. I had already been riding over 20 years, done it for a living, rode in many countries and on many stages, won many unicycling titles and helped run the big unicycling organizations, and accumulated more than 30 unicycles by then. But she was still, justifiably jealous of the amounts of time I would spend on my hobby/sport/lifestyle. At the same time, she would travel with me to many big unicycle conventions, and she’s been to more Unicons than most unicyclists. Going to those allowed us to have fun vacations (separate from the conventions) in China, Japan, and all over Europe! Next year we’re going to Grenoble (Unicon 20), followed by exploring more of France and possibly Italy, Switzerland, etc. We (now) have a big garage with a high ceiling, so for the most part, the unicycles are all off the floor! She is the best person I could possibly have found.

BTW, for you Aussies, we will be in Sydney in January, where David Buchanan from Canberra is trying to help arrange a morning unicycle ride somewhere in the sydney area for interested riders, on or around January 7. I’ll need to borrow one if this can be set up. Would love to meet you. Bring your spouses/significant others!

[Klaas_Bil]

I’m happy to report that my wife is really supportive of my unicycling hobby and all that comes with it.

I did not do any sports between about 20 and 47 years of age, except occasional bike rides to work or mountain hikes in vacations. She did encourage me do to more physical exercise, but there simply was nothing I liked enough. Once I discovered unicycling (together with our two daughters) she was as happy as I was that there finally was a sport that ‘clicked’ with me.

By now I own 8 to 10 unicycles (haven’t counted) and spend quite some time on simply riding, on attending events, on organising events and on other unicycling-related stuff. It keeps me fit both physically and mentally. She appreciates all of that. Admittedly, she would like me to do more household chores at times, but she doesn’t specifically blame unicycling for me not doing that enough.

[Gockie]

@johnfoss

BTW, for you Aussies, we will be in Sydney in January, where David Buchanan from Canberra is trying to help arrange a morning unicycle ride somewhere in the sydney area for interested riders, on or around January 7. I’ll need to borrow one if this can be set up. Would love to meet you. Bring your spouses/significant others!

That’s awesome! Count me in
And I’m sure a uni can be arranged for you

Re: Travelling with a 36er… don’t fly Qatar. They are a pain in the butt and stole money and a phone from my partner. And the guy at checkin said my unicycle was going to damage his plane. Really?

[lightbulbjim]

@Gockie

the guy at checkin said my unicycle was going to damage his plane

Only if he tries to ride it!

[wobblysteve]

@JimT

I’ve had my wife for fifty years and had a unicycle for about sixty. She doesn’t really have a leg to stand on and doesn’t say too much. She knows that unicycles are a lot safer then training crazy horses (or mules).

Nice picture JimT. Lovely horse, or is he/she a mule?
Maybe I need to take up a real dangerous sport like Base Jumping… Deaths per 100,000 population: 43.17. Odds of dying: 1 in 2,317. …

[wobblysteve]

@Canoeheadted

She even let me buy my KH36 a month ago!

Nice… I better start saving up now… by the time I learn to ride maybe I could afford this beauty…

[wobblysteve]

@johnfoss

:)Ouch! She doesn’t seem happy about your unicycling at all. Has she said why?

Have the two of you been married for long? If so, it’s a pretty harsh reaction. Let her know you still love her, and you will continue to mop and vacuum.

BTW, for you Aussies, we will be in Sydney in January, where David Buchanan from Canberra is trying to help arrange a morning unicycle ride somewhere in the sydney area for interested riders, on or around January 7. I’ll need to borrow one if this can be set up. Would love to meet you. Bring your spouses/significant others!

I asked today about her aversion to unicycles, and she genuinely worries a lot about me and the kids… She equates half as many wheels as a normal bike to twice as dangerous…I was the victim of a hit and run a few years back on a regular bike and had a serious concussion and retrograde amnesia. I didn’t recognise her when she came to my bedside at the hospital… that had to hurt right… all good now though thankfully.

I have been married for more than 20 years.

Looks like you have your ride in Sydney sorted… Unicyclists are a real accommodating bunch, so nice that Gockie can join you.

[pierrox]

@wobbling bear

ah and yes: since I practice mostly muni she is sometimes worried that I may hurt myself in the woods.

If I’m out riding, whether with you or on my own, and I’m late returning home, she starts looking at twitter for #unicycleaccidentparis…

[simonb]

@wobblysteve

I have started learning to ride a unicycle recently and was not expecting the somewat negative reactions I get from my spouse about my new hobby.

I was wondering what positive or negative reactions other forum members are getting from their spouses, family and friends.

I’ll start by saying that my wife’s responses are overwhelmingly negative.
Some recent comments:-

1. You look like a complete idiot trying to balance that thing.
2. Your only doing this for attention… I’m going to ignore you…
3. When you have finished trying to be a Circus clown, can you please do something productive like mop the floors and do the vacuming.
4. Where are you going? You better not come crying to me when you break your neck!
5. How embarrasing, please dont ever mention anything about your stupid unicycle to my friends…
6. [Talking to my kids] - Yes, he bought a Unicycle, I’m afraid your father has developed dementia.

Honestly, this sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship.

Hopefully, they are just naive and don’t understand the reasons why you enjoy unicycling. If you explain the reasons why, they’ll have more of an insight into your life and a new foundation to support you from.

If they’re still overtly negative about your unicycling even when you’ve explained why, and unicycling isn’t interfering with your ability to spend time with family/other commitments, I’d seriously consider talking to her about the reasons you are together.

Your spouse doesn’t have to love unicycling or even overtly ‘support’ it, but talking down to you, criticising you and gaslighting you is not healthy in any aspect of any relationship.

EDIT: Just read your response about safety concerns and danger. Again, this is something that seems to be grounded in her perception of unicycling that isn’t true. Try talking to her about how unicycling is relatively safe, even compared to biking, is great for you physically and mentally and is fun. It’s a sign of your strength and independence and not something for anyone to be embarrassed or ashamed of at all. @JohnFoss makes a number of good points about concerns your wife may have that could be easily cleared up.

[wobbling_bear]

@johnfoss

What sports does your wife do, if I may inquire? Always looking for ways to shave a few more years off… (no, really for my wife)

Well you know her: she is (extremely) lightweight so she is built for distance running … but now she only regularly practices jogging (and some indoor exercices in a gym) - last month we were at high altitude in the Andes and local people were wondering if she could be tired :D-

[Setonix]

@simonb

EDIT: Just read your response about safety concerns and danger. Again, this is something that seems to be grounded in her perception of unicycling that isn’t true.

This reminds me of riding on the bicycle path and mostly old peeps going for a ride on their bikes going in a very big circle around me, even when they are oncoming traffic, they give me a lot of space as they expect that I will just tumble off. Sometimes I throw my hands in the air making them think I will fall off and I’ve also had that they end up riding in the grass beside the bicycle path. Quite funny. People are really scared when they see something they can’t comprehend.

[bigevilgrape]

@wobblysteve

I asked today about her aversion to unicycles, and she genuinely worries a lot about me and the kids… She equates half as many wheels as a normal bike to twice as dangerous…I was the victim of a hit and run a few years back on a regular bike and had a serious concussion and retrograde amnesia. I didn’t recognise her when she came to my bedside at the hospital… that had to hurt right… all good now though thankfully.

I have been married for more than 20 years.

Looks like you have your ride in Sydney sorted… Unicyclists are a real accommodating bunch, so nice that Gockie can join you.

IT sounds like she has some unresolved issues from your accident. I dont mean to overstep, but would she be willing to talk to a therapist?

[Canoeheadted]

I bet this thread’ll learn ya Steve!

[BruceC]

@Gockie

That’s awesome! Count me in
And I’m sure a uni can be arranged for you

Hi John,

No worries mate! Between Gockie, a few others and myself you’ll have your pick of the fleet.

[elpuebloUNIdo]

My neighborhood is surrounded by many contiguous parks and undeveloped areas. I am lucky not to have to ride in traffic. Do you have that opportunity where you live? I can understand your wife’s concern.

[lightbulbjim]

Hey WobblySteve, are there some unicyclists close to you that you can do a group ride with? Maybe if your wife spent some time with the group it would ease her mind.

[wobblysteve]

@elpuebloUNIdo

My neighborhood is surrounded by many contiguous parks and undeveloped areas. I am lucky not to have to ride in traffic. Do you have that opportunity where you live? I can understand your wife’s concern.

Yes I’m lucky that i am within walking distance of plenty of places to ride. I emphasise the word walking because I can’t actually ride yet. Still practicing about 15 minutes to an hour every day.

[wobblysteve]

@lightbulbjim

Hey WobblySteve, are there some unicyclists close to you that you can do a group ride with? Maybe if your wife spent some time with the group it would ease her mind.

I’m probably looking for a group of beginners cos I can’t actually ride for more than about 5 pedal strokes yet. I don’t think many people unicycle in Adelaide, Australia. It was not common to see cyclists in Adelaide prior to 1990. I remember when I used to cycle to work in the 80s, I would not see any other cyclists at all. The most common reaction I would get was motorists and other pedestrians yelling “Can’t you afford a car?”. haha

[wobblysteve]

Summary of responses so far…

Negative
wobblysteve
albertosaurus

Moderately Negative
setonix

Neutral
JimT
ruari
Richard C
monoguy on a mono wheel

Supportive
Canoeheadted
OneTrackMind
lightbulbjim
aj1500
wobbling bear
elpuebloUNIdo
mrfixit
Gockie
bigevilgrape
BruceC
johnfoss
Klaas Bil

So if you exclude the neutral it appears that the supportive beats the negative - 12 to 3

[johnfoss]

@wobblysteve

Maybe I need to take up a real dangerous sport like Base Jumping…

Reminds me of a conversation I had with Kris Holm’s mom, on the day he was married. I asked her how she felt about all the nutty stuff he was doing on the unicycle, like riding on very high cliffs and bridge railings? This was 2003. Her response was a total surprise; she said she really worried more about Kris’ sister, whose winter activity choice of activity was ice climbing!

@wobbling bear

Well you know her: she is (extremely) lightweight so she is built for distance running … but now she only regularly practices jogging (and some indoor exercices in a gym)

Thanks! gym yes, but running/jogging definitely not for Jacquie. But we do love our rides together, she on her recumbent and me on my G36. I beat hear on the uphills and she creams me on the downhills. In between, I now struggle to keep up sometimes…

@BruceC

No worries mate! Between Gockie, a few others and myself you’ll have your pick of the fleet.

@Gockie

That’s awesome! Count me in
And I’m sure a uni can be arranged for you

That’s very kind of you. Not sure who Dave was working with in the Sydney area, but Sunday 5 Jan. is also possible, or the 6th or 7th. Morning. Depending on the riders in the gruop, would love to go on a scenic and/or challenging Muni ride, or just meet somewhere in town and share our toys and skills. I’m at johnfoss at unicycling d com.

@Gockie

… don’t fly Qatar. They are a pain in the butt and stole money and a phone from my partner. And the guy at checkin said my unicycle was going to damage his plane. Really?

Wow, harsh! If an airline employee told me my unicycle would damage their plane, I would ask if they have any stronger planes. Otherwise reminds me of my experience in China after Unicon X. After checking in and paying for everything, man at the luggage belt says I have to pay for them to take my luggage. His command of English was very limited, and I said we already paid. Having experienced similar examples throughout our trip, I then just stared back at him for a while, until he waved us through.