OK Brockfisher,
I like you, but I just have to say this: You, like many TABs and TAMs (temporarily able bodied and temporarily able minded persons), have been trained that it’s not polite to use racist and ethnic slurs.
Like many, you have not been taught not to slur those less able minded or less able bodied than yourself.
Using a term like that does not flatter you. You can do better.
Billy
I’m soooo temped to attach a couple .jpg’s I cliped off the net on this topic …
But alas … it IS IN POOR JUDGEMENT.
To me, that word does not have the same negativity that a racial or ethnic slur has. Perhaps I was not taught that it does. I rarely use the word, but when I do, I am not in any way referring to the less able minded. I find it immensely disrespectful to use that word to describe them. To me, the word is simply a stronger form of the word “stupid” (to be used as an insult of a single person).
I’m leaning toward fully agreeing with you, but a question first. What is the origin of the word? Is it derogatory in all usages? Is it a medical term? Would a doctor, speaking with detachment and technical precision, use that word?
I’m a sensitive and PC guy, so if I’m failing in this regard, I want to correct it. But I’m proceeding cautiously, because it’s easy to go too far with PC. I mean, where do we draw the line? “Can you give me a hand?”… does that offend the amputees? “See what I mean?”… does that offend the blind? Can I call someone (not Obie) stupid? Or will that offend the less intelligent? I’m not trying to marginalize your point, I’m just showing how it’s easy to take PC too far. I’m exploring where “retard” fits into the PC spectrum (and perhaps I’ll discover that I’m an unenlightened oaf who needs to catch up with the rest of society).
Again, I’m almost ready to agree with you. I just need a bit more thinking / convincing. Again, I don’t think of the group of “less able minded” as “retards”, therefore when I use that word, I am not referring to them. But maybe that is the medically correct term for them?
this thread is gay 
Well said… very well said. Most people on the forum are way way way way way too sensitive when it comes to “retard” and “gay.” When i use those terms i am not actually referring to the groups. MEANINGS CHANGE. Ethinic and racial slurs like nigger and cracker (dosen’t bother me) are more hurtful than “retard.” All that means is to slow down again in latin. Its not the same as saying- “retards are stupid F*cks that will never leave thier parents basement ot have a life” get over it honkey.
don’t be insensitive, you retard
touché
Thank you. It’s nice to finally say something you agree with. 
I’m not sure where to draw the line. That’s what I’m exploring. Is it being oversensitive or not? I haven’t decided yet. I have to first understand whether this word is truly offensive (and to whom it is offensive). If most reasonable and educated people think that it is offensive, then I will stop using it. My own perceptions of the word are only half of the issue. The listener must be considered.
I’m sure uni57 agrees with me. He was just being flippant.
I hope you of all people know I was kidding.
I thought you were serious this time. In the past, you’ve said some pretty outrageous things to me in chat, which if you recall, I didn’t take seriously. But this one had an odd flavor so I thought perhaps you didn’t like me any more. Whatever. No problem. I take death threats very seriously, though, so I hired a few thugs to drive out to PA and rough you up. They should be there in about a half-hour. I’m trying to call them now to tell them to come back. If you see some big guys in black overcoats, give them the abort code. Say… “Priority Override: Tears of Ra” and they will leave you alone.
How about I just kill them all?
I can enjoy the levity in this thread, and it’s OK to have fun. But we all know stories wherein 5 guys having fun leads to one outsider-type guy getting seriously hurt.
The ethnic slurs may be more hurtful to you than being called retard, but I’ve talked to numerous people who have dropped out of school rather than face the pain of their [regular ed.] peers calling them “retard” because they were placed in a class for learning disabled or retarded students.
Still, I’m glad this thread got some attention. I predict it will die quickly, but I’m looking for responses for a few more people before that.
Billy
More hurtful to whom? You are incorrect. If you meant “hurtful to more people” that would probably be accurate.
The issue is not whether the word(s) in question are offensive to you. The question is whether you care that they are offensive to others.
Dave Lowell definitely has a point on the question of overkill, or over-PC-ness. To a large extent, this is a matter of personal taste, and of the person(s) to whom you are speaking.
But here is a good way to test. Ask yourself if the potentially offensive word is something that applies to people who didn’t choose to be that way, or have no control over it. If the answer is yes, you’re probably being rude.
My wife works with developmentally disabled adults. Nobody in her business, especially her clients, likes “retard” being used to describe them, or as a substitute for “stupid.” Being developmentally disabled does not necessarily mean you are stupid, and being labeled “retarded” applies the same amount of assumptions as any other single label. It’s simply not very specific, hence not accurate.
“Retarded” is still used in some circles as a legal or “technical” term, but is generally considered very outdated and not politically correct.
Yes, political correctness can go to far. An amputee will hopefully not be offended if you ask him to give you a hand. On the one hand (sorry), you could be making a rude joke. On the other hand, you’re reinforcing that he still has a good hand, and that it’s valuable enough for others to need it.
You can say to a blind person “See what I mean?” They get it.
I know lots of blind people, deaf-blind people, developmentally disabled people, and the odd amputee here or there.
That reminds me of a woman where I used to work. I would help her get to the lady’s locker room at the YMCA then she would go swimming. We would normally talk about things when she was putting out food and water for her dog. One day she asked what I did resently and I responded “Oh I went to see (the movie that was playing at the time)” I felt stupid for saying it. Like I wanted to just run into a wall or something. She just said oh I was going to see that too. She goes there and someone tells her whats going on. So really you dont know how a person is going to react. I personally thought she would be sad or angry I dont know but it turned out fine.
I think the world is becoming to PC. People should relax.
I’m pretty sure Tim’s old woman is blind. Also I’m pretty sure he meant to imply that she was not offended by him having “seen” a movie.
Interestingly enough, I know a lot of deaf people who don’t go to the movies much, because they choose not to spend the money and not get the sound half. They prefer waiting for a DVD or tape that has closed captioning.
I’m an equal opportunity offender… who’s next.
You do mean “visually challenged”, right?
Send comments, complaints, checks to: John Foss
the email didn’t work, but I wanted to say Very Cool responses, John. And Tim.
Billy
Woah, woah, woah.
THAT’S something ENTIRELY different and NOT what I was referring to at all. Calling Bush (or one of my smart friends) a retard is a zillion miles away from the unthinkably cruel situation you describe.
I still don’t know how universally unacceptable that term is. And I’m only talking about the usage such as “Bush is a retard” or “Kerry is a retard” (I’ll mention them both just to retard the flames). To me, it is a derogatory term which applies only to the person to which it is directed. But if others perceive me as insensitive as a result of using that word, then I will stop using it. Actually, I rarely if ever use that word. But if I feel the need, I will instead say “stupid idiot” (with apologies to all the stupid idiots of the world).
I would never talk about a learning disabled or developmentally challenged or less able-minded person as being “retarded”. It just doesn’t sound right. And I would NEVER say it to their face. But again, is that a proper medical term? Is it universally offensive no matter how it is used? You simply don’t give me enough to make an informed decision. It may seem black-and-white to you, but it’s not.
I thought of a MUCH better overly-PC example that I should have used in my other post. Did you ever look for something and you can’t see it? And then someone says, “What are you, blind? It’s right in front of you!” In this example, it’s okay to make reference to the existence of blind people and to use the word “blind” in a slightly derogatory manner. It’s not taboo. But why is that different?
I’m ready to agree with you. But you just haven’t given me enough.
I’ve thought about this for a bit before posting.
Most of my life I’ve known “retarded” people or been around them. Until I was about 10 I lived by a neighbor girl that was “retarded”. It seems there have always been at least a couple people in my church who are developmentally disabled. I have an 11 yo son who has Down Syndrome.
This does not count all the other people with disabilities I have known such as a blind cousin and an uncle who had Parkinson’s and subsequent strokes who “spoke” by pointing at letters on a card to spell out words-he was good at it too.
I think most common usage of “retarded” is pejorative even if that wasn’t the intent. Especially the internet, go to Google Images and search “retarded” and see what you get even with the safe search.
The link above has a couple good quotes:
I heard someone ask the other day, “Is that one of those races where everyone wins?”. The intent was an inferred pejorative use of “special”.
I can understand the feeling that maybe “retarded” isn’t “as offensive” or was said with no bad intent but it is pejorative nevertheless.
Unicycling and knowing people with disabilities are two areas which have added fullness to my life, not taken from it.
Edit: This is not in response to any one specific post above. It took me so long to compose this other comments have been posted.