Keep it moderately clean, no punching, gouging or paedophilia.
There was a young man from Dumbarton
Who thought he could run like a Spartan
On the twenty fourth lap
His braces went “Snap!”
And his face turned a rare Scottish tartan.
There was a young man from Crewe
Who decided to build a canoe
But when in the river
He found with a shiver
He hadn’t used waterproof glue.
There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
Though he tried day and night
To make it sound right
He said, “I think the problem is that always try to get as many words into the last line of the limerick as I possibly can.”
Proceeding a particulary strong drink
My friend stood upside down in the sink
He inhaled more water
Than a young man really outta’
and now he can no longer think
There was a man from a place with a name
who was of particular typewriter fame
he would press all the keys
as fast as you please
and all the words would still come out the same
On recieving a new mobile telephone
phillip mind was particulary blown
not only did it have
bluetooth and satnav
It also applied your cologne.
While Titian was mixing Rose Madder,
his model did climb up a ladder,
the position, to Titian, looked good for coition,
so he climbed up the ladder and 'ad her.
Was taught that one by my form teacher in the first year of senior school. He had to explain atleast three things in it.
I count seven limericks thus far for today alone, including three by the author of the thread who titled the thread “Daily Limerick” not, “Daily Limericks.” Imagine if you subscribed to a text service, say, “A spiritual thought of the day” and got text messages constantly all day with new ones. You’d be pissed.
There once was a poet named Will,
who wandered right over a hill.
He was speechless for hours,
over some stupid flowers.
It was years before TV, but still.
There once was a young lad from Boston
He would post in the forums quite often
A limerick he tried
But success was denied
He really should stick to C programmin’
Okay, I worked so hard on that, but in the end, basically nothing really rhymes. Consider this how NOT to write a limerick.
Also, a limerick should have nine syllables in lines 1, 2, and 5 and five syllables in lines 3 and 4. The nine syllable lines should rhyme and the five syllable lines should rhyme. According to Wikipedia.
There was a young man who went “Ahem”
That’s definately not a tandem
“You’re new here?”, he asked
Of new riders, unmasked
That’s one more of us and one less of them.
the was a young man from Australia
on his arse tattoo’ed a Dahlia
the look was fine
the inking devine
but the smell,ah, that was a failure
there was a young lady named blight
who could travel muc hfaster than light
she walked out one day
with no train fare to pay
and returned the previous night