Daft comments

General
1

Let’s see you do a wheelie
Someone’s nicked your other wheel.
Where’s your other wheel?
I’ll keep an eye out for your other wheel, mate.
Look at the man on the one wheeled bike.
(Recently) Oh! F*** you!
What’s up, your mum and dad poor? (My favourite!)
Daughter on bicycle to mum reluctantly following on bicycle: ‘That’s next week, mum.’

Anyone out there got any examples of the wit of the general public? I’m thinking of preparing written hand outs so they can just tick the box with the fatuous comment of their choice and post it in to have it entered in a free draw to win a brain.

2

You forgot the oh-so-famous “Hey, it’s one of those unicycle things!”

3

here’s a good list from a while back…

http://www.unicyclist.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16834&highlight=best+comment+yet

4

Re: Daft comments

I once heard “Where’s your wheel” (rather than “other wheel”).
Evidently they thought I was levitating rather than pedalling. :slight_smile:

Arnold the Aardvark

5

Re: Daft comments

Don’t forget the ubiquitous circus comments in your handout. And why
not print your favourite returns to each comment on the back side?

Klaas Bil

On Sat, 11 May 2002 05:50:18 -0500, Mikefule
<Mikefule.4hjab@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:

>
>Let’s see you do a wheelie
>Someone’s nicked your other wheel.
>Where’s your other wheel?
>I’ll keep an eye out for your other wheel, mate.
>Look at the man on the one wheeled bike.
>(Recently) Oh! F*** you!
>What’s up, your mum and dad poor? (My favourite!)
>Daughter on bicycle to mum reluctantly following on bicycle: ‘That’s
>next week, mum.’
>
>Anyone out there got any examples of the wit of the general public? I’m
>thinking of preparing written hand outs so they can just tick the box
>with the fatuous comment of their choice and post it in to have it
>entered in a free draw to win a brain.
>
>
>–
>Mikefule - Spending too much on a cheap hobby
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Mikefule’s Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/879
>View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/18033
>

–
“To trigger/fool/saturate/overload Echelon, the following has been picked automagically from a database:”
“Zacarias Moussaoui, SNORT, UHF”

6

I think it would be really cool if someone designed a T shirt that had these comments on the back on a “Family feud” style board and something like “unoriginal unicycle comments” as the category. And something appropriate on the front. Then when you ride by, and somebody says “go back to the circus!” And their friends laugh commend them on their witty one liner, you can just continue by and they will then see that they actually nailed down the number two most popular thing to yell at a guy minding his own busniess on top of a unicycle. I had planned to do this, but am currently busy with a different unicycle project.
-Gauss

7

gauss writes:

Great idea maybe gilby could do one so we could all buy it to help keep this great site going.

unicus

8

Re: Daft comments

what about-
“i bet you couldn’t do that when your pissed”

my bro got that (age 13)!

dave

Mikefule <Mikefule.4hjab@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote in message
news:Mikefule.4hjab@timelimit.unicyclist.com…
>
> Let’s see you do a wheelie
> Someone’s nicked your other wheel.
> Where’s your other wheel?
> I’ll keep an eye out for your other wheel, mate.
> Look at the man on the one wheeled bike.
> (Recently) Oh! F*** you!
> What’s up, your mum and dad poor? (My favourite!)
> Daughter on bicycle to mum reluctantly following on bicycle: ‘That’s
> next week, mum.’
>
> Anyone out there got any examples of the wit of the general public? I’m
> thinking of preparing written hand outs so they can just tick the box
> with the fatuous comment of their choice and post it in to have it
> entered in a free draw to win a brain.
>
>
> –
> Mikefule - Spending too much on a cheap hobby
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Mikefule’s Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/879
> View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/18033
>

9

Re: Daft comments

DaveHS wrote:
> what about-
> “i bet you couldn’t do that when your pissed”
>
> my bro got that (age 13)!

I’ve had “I bet you couldn’t do that after a few pints”.

This was from a policewoman, when I was riding home from the pub after a few
pints.

–
Danny Colyer (remove safety to reply) ( http://www.juggler.net/danny )
B4/5v c(+) rv d m(+) w++ q+ k e+ t+ (s) g+ f - http://www.lpbk.net/jc/
“I don’t think proofreading is adequate. All posts should be waxed and
buffed. Then they should wear little tuxedos.” - Greg Harper on usenet

10

Re: Daft comments

I’d definitely be in for one of those…sounds like a great addition
to the small amount of merchandise not yet available :slight_smile:

The most priceless one I ever had was, (whilst idling at the lights),
a little boy come up to me, no more than 4, and say emphatically, with
no doubt at all in his voice…

“You’re gonna fall off” and then walked righteously away. I guess a
dismount isn’t anything except a controlled fall, so he was actually
right too…

11

beeull and I were strolling through a park on a concrete sidewalk, and this lady went to get her kids out of the sidewalk that were playing around and on it. as i rolled by the lady I said…
“Don’t worry mam, the kids are probably more dangerous than us.”

12

RE: Daft comments

> Anyone out there got any examples of the wit of the general
> public?

Been there, done that:
http://www.unicycling.org/unicycling/faq.html
Go to #4, “Where’s the other wheel?”

Way back in 1981 I compiled a list of the comments people make, and polled
the readers of the USA Newsletter for responses. We should reproduce that on
Unicycling.org. Here are some suggestions from off the top of my head:

> Let’s see you do a wheelie

It is a wheelie.

> Someone’s nicked your other wheel.

I sold it as scrap.
This is my other wheel.
Why would I need another wheel?
This one didn’t come with a spare.

> Where’s your other wheel?

See above

> I’ll keep an eye out for your other wheel, mate.

Also see above

> Look at the man on the one wheeled bike.

Unicycle.

> Oh! F*** you!

Say nothing, of course. Enjoy making losers feel inferior and how they shout
it publicly.

> What’s up, your mum and dad poor?

Yes, but I’m rich! (they don’t need to understand it, we do)

> thinking of preparing written hand outs so they can just tick the box
> with the fatuous comment of their choice and post it in to have it
> entered in a free draw to win a brain.

Be nice. People who speak to you are showing interest (unless they’re being
abusive). The sick thing is, no matter how un-original their comments, they
thought them up themselves.

Sometimes I give people the reply before they formulate their daft comments.
You often see someone coming the opposite way when you’re on a unicycle, and
you can see their mental wheels clicking over looking for something to say.
I have fun making up things to say first when on the trail, such as:

  • This was a tandem when we started out
  • Don’t let this happen to you
  • Don’t tell the guy behind me you’ve never seen this before
  • You’re seeing things
  • It’s a lot more fun on the downhills (unless you’re a sicko who prefers
    uphills)

Stay on top,
John Foss, the Uni-Cyclone
jfoss@unicycling.com

“If people want to truly understand mountain biking, they have to do two
other things: ride a unicycle, and master the trampoline.” – Joe Breeze,
one of the originators of mountain biking, in a conversation with Tim Bustos

13

Here’s two recent funny encounters, not necessarily comments.

  1. I was at the park trying to mount (I’m still kinda new, so mounting remains a challenge). It was uphill and I couldn’t do the mount. This little girl - maybe 4 years old, barely able to talk - rode up on her tricycle. She asked “Are you okay?” I explained to her what I was doing (I don’t think she completely understood), then she just sat there staring at me. If I tried to mount, I would have kicked her in the head. I had to stop myself from yelling MOVE!

  2. I had two kids stop me on the street yesterday and asked me “How do you do that?” I had absolutely no clue how to answer that question.

14

Nbrazzi,

I get that one a lot also. I answer with either “lots of practice” or “magic”.

Then I’ll tell them “It takes about 20 hours of falling down constantly, then it gets easy.”

Lewis

15

Lewis’ answers are both good. I also like, “with great difficulty.”

16

Re: Daft comments

On Tue, 14 May 2002 13:16:52 -0500, nbrazzi
<nbrazzi.4nnvz@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:

>2) I had two kids stop me on the street yesterday and asked me “How do
>you do that?” I had absolutely no clue how to answer that question.

I say “Like this”.
Even if you’re new and still practicing the freemount, it applies.

Klaas Bil

“To trigger/fool/saturate/overload Echelon, the following has been picked automagically from a database:”
“Li Hongzhi, CFD, Lexis-Nexis”

17

i just rode across southern washington (usa) and much to my surprise i got very few comments. im keeping a tally all the way to the mississippi. so far:

you lost your other wheel 3
thats one way to go 2
freak 1
youre off the hook 1
rock on 1
oh my f#ck 1

im sure there will be more when we ride through towns with more than 20 people living in them. by the way, anyone live on hwy 12 that feels like giving a touring unicyclist and his bicycling friend a shower and maybe a couch for the night? thanx.

18

RE: Daft comments

Last week when I was just minding my own business while riding on the sidewalk,
this small group (3-4 people), stopped in their tracks and began to clap as I
rode by. Very funny.

The last time I was riding in town, this one man in a red minivan, drove around
the block that I was on, 3 times, honking his horn wildly, waving, and giving
me a thumbs up, lol.

And then there was this one time, at band camp…
-Dylan

19

Re: Daft comments

----- Original Message -----
From: John Foss <john_foss@asinet.com>
To: ‘Mikefule’ <Mikefule.4hjab@timelimit.unicyclist.com>; <rsu@unicycling.org>
Sent: Tuesday, May 14, 2002 12:42 PM
Subject: RE: Daft comments

> > Anyone out there got any examples of the wit of the general
> > public?

I bought it at a half price sale. They didn’t tell me I only get half the bike.

Lowell

20

RE: Daft comments

The best I’ve received so far was a crowd cheering me on as I rode by.
Really people, it’s not that difficult :slight_smile:

The “worst” was while I was walking it looking for a good place to mount
(this was in my pre-freemount days). A cop rode by on a bike and said “Mad
respect if you can ride that. Mad respect.” Of course I couldn’t.

I ride my uni from class to class and between classes the campus is just
loaded with people, so I’ve gotten lots of comments. So far all positive.

Matt