Chariot War on Unicycles, wearing fur thong

Portland loves its freaky bike related cultural events, some naked, some clothed and some armor-plated.

The Unicycle Bastards put together an entry for this years Ben Hurt III, chariot war, a semi-underground all-out no rules bare bloody nuckle fight to the last chariot rolling.

The Bastard’s welding-cart-based chariot towed by four “horses” on unicycles was the first ever unicycle based chariot in the history of the event and the competition was . . . . . brutal . . . . literally. Our Bastard chariot made it 5 minutes before being sideswiped by the “hamster ball”, tacoing one of our wheels badly. Guess they don’t make welding cart wheels like they used to.

FYI: No raccoons died in the construction of our armor.

A couple of vids to get your mini-bike, freak-bike/unicycle boner pumping:



That is so great!! I’ll have to google the rules of Ben Hurt to understand it better. We’ve got to do something like this in Southern California! Who’s in?

Ben Hurt Rules

  1. Go until you’re stopped.
  2. Fight until it hurts.
  3. Drink until you fall
  4. Goto 1

that was sick… pure genius.

Looks like a lot of fun :).

Looks like you guys had a good time.

Let us know if you need help designing your uni-hamster-ball for next year. That looks like the way to go! Thanks for sharing this zanyness with us!

Almost enough to make me wish I still lived in Portland where I could hang out with other like minded people and get my skull cracked in by them.

On second thought, maybe youtube is close enough.

Haha I remember talk about this last year…

ha ha yay for portland… that looks like so much fun it’s almost rediculous to think about. By the looks of it, the smart guys were rolling with their spokes protected.

This makes me think that uni gladiator needs to look a lot more like that.