catdog…
+++
listenin to train
“drops of jupiter”
sunday morning
9:38 am 8 June 2003
2 days to go
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here are the lyrics i downloaded
nearly right
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey hey
Since the return of her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and talks like June, hey hey
But tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is over rated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And then you miss me while you were lookin’ for yourself out there
Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey hey
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ Jane
Told a story 'bout a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land
But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
even when i know your wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had… and me
But tell me did
you sail accross the sun
Did you make it to the Milky way
to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is over rated
Tell me did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were
looking for yourself
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
na,na
And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
na,na
And did you fall for a shooting star
Fall for a shooting star
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na
And are you lonely while looking for yourself out there
+++
just have a cone
sorry
pain’s large
+++
big busts in town this week
supply’s low
fucked way to buy painkiller
+++
ryan woke me up at seven
ah well
it’s a three day weekend
queen’s birthday holiday weekend
+++
Incubus
“Drive”
playin now…
+++
lyrics
will they ever gte the fucker’s right ?
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the
fear take the wheel and steer.
It’s driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal.
But lately I am beginning to find that
I should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes.
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It’s driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I’m beginning to find that
when I drive myself my light is found.
So whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes. Yeh.
Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive?
Would you choose water over wine…
hold the wheel and drive?
+++
i saw a lady transcribe a song
shorthand don’t ya know
and she was wrong too
personally
i need to read the lyric sheet
then i can remember the words
+++
watchin catdog
the other day
it’s a show about an animal
that’s one end cat
and one end dog
just the mouth parts
watched the credits
and saw
written by
Peter Hannan
that’s the name of Andrew’s grandfather
no i don’t think he’s the writer
andrew loved the show though
not fuckin fair
+++
2 more days
three years
+++
D12
“Purple Hills”
i won’t post the lyrics i got
they’re so far from the truth
it just ain’t worth it
+++
fuckin repressed human beings
my missus was crook last night
and went to sleep
and i woke up cranky
with the pain runnin high
and a seven year old boy in the bed
talking at seven am
on a sunday morning
about his agenda
the young man is too young
to appreciate my agenda
sometimes
that means i live with extra pain for the day
you try livin with blue balls everyday
+++
be alright if i could wank in three minutes
but that’s rare
+++
ah well
sex tonight will be mega
+++
don’t like it ?
don’t believe it ?
don’t care ?
fuck off
my book
me…
+++
i look at a woman
i feel desire
i get punished
+++
pain…
+++
sorry
it’s hurtin bad
livin round the testicles
+++
went ridin in town yesterday
had a fuckin fat time
i’ll go ridin again today
witha couple of cones inside me
for the pain
and feed on the smiles
and groove on life
and have fuckin fun…
+++
it’s what it means
to be
the land surfer…
+++
my problem
+++
ride a unicycle in the surf
and know god…
+++
i was ridin along yesterday
and this guy starts ridin a pushie next to me
and we have a chat
as we pedal along
the bike path in the botanical gardens
gorgeous place
talkin unicycles and fun
and i was smilin
which you know already
it makes me feel better
and we can all use that…
+++
dancing on a unicycle
+++
it numbs the pain
+++
if ya put extreme pressure on an area
over an extended period of time
the area goes numb
and stays numb
for a time…
+++
and of course
there is no drug
as good
as
…
adrenalin…
+++
i told a guy the other
night
that i did it all
for the experience
which i kinda did…
+++
oh yeah
i wrote a book about it
what’s that ?
yeah
i might publish
haven’t looked into it
hey ?
yeah
i had a fucking good time…
+++
i was a street entertainer
and an artist
ridin around with a professionally made up face
provided from a former tv star
and i didn’t feel appreciated
so i got bored
and left
now i get my unicycling kicks
in bigger crowds
in the daytime
not quite the same
but
still fulfilling
cause
you know it
all them fuckin smiles
millions of the fuckers
i go get a job
half the guys in the place go
" i know your face "
but
they don’t know who i am
i had to cop to bein on telly a few times
people have told me about it
just haven’t seen it
“and are ya lonely out there?”
sometimes…
+++
“i love what you do”
no ya don’t…
+++
not in the real world
+++
i got woke up this morning early
and didn’t wanta disturb my penthouse model in the bed
nice body
so i went in the lounge
and flicked on the tube
and caught 20/20
and saw the tale of this guy
who’d been sleeping in the subway toilets with his son
and now drives a ferrari
and owns a stockbroking firm
+++
fourty-one is still young
i haven’t given up yet
+++
friday thirteenth
next friday
and i’m thinkin
i should go ride the clubbers
the late night crowd
and then i think
nah fuck em
i’ll get a real pay
and i’ll get really stoned
and painfree
and go for a big drive
to a lonely beach
with nice hard sand
and ride the low tide in the dark
alone
dunno
we’ll see
the land surfer…
my
creation
just a character in a book
is a bit pissed at the crowd
“we love you man”
no ya don’t
if ya loved me
i’d be livin in a penthouse
with my penthouse pet
the versace lady
and we wouldn’t be worried about money
and both of us wouldn’t be cleaning
cause that’s what we do
you’re full of shit
don’t tell me that ya love me…
+++
“we’ll get ya funding”
“we love what you do”
no
you won’t
like people everywhere
you’ll do your agenda
and get out of it
what you want
and the land surfer
will get sick of playin toyboy
and get bored
+++
it all makes a good tale
all that ridin around
bein able to say
i was a street entertainer
in surfer’s paradise
singin with the buskers
and makin the people smile
and ya know what ya get asked
when ya talk about it ?
did ya make much money ?
+++
no
but they gave me piss and drugs
well mostly
some wouldn’t give anybody anything
+++
“or go out in the street for nothin”
hey
it’s not my karma…
+++
where’s my car break down ?
+++
ya might see me on telly again soon andrew
know this
i love you…
+++
never ever come between a man and his son
+++
i don’t enjoy the attention
i do enjoy the attention
go figure…
+++
but i love my son
+++
if andrew see’s me
on the telly
on the news
boppin along on a unique unicycle
he might remember me
and question
what his mother tells him
cause she tells lots of lies
i’m a wizard on a unicycle
the land surfer…
and my job
is to be known by thousands and thousands of people
so that when my picture
goes on the telly
they go
i’ve seen that guy
he rode past me one day
and i yelled out
“you are a legend”
i didn’t know
he was
out there
because he couldn’t see his son…
+++
it’s always easier to criticize than it is to do
and if ya play devil’s advocate all the time
people are gunna think you’re
a negative prick
think positive paulie…
+++
no believers…
+++
i’m a believer…
+++
come with me on a journey
sorry
what’s that ?
you want to do it your way
oh
and you want me to do it your way
sorry
my journey
my proofs
my tale…
+++
the adventures of the land surfer…
surfing the land on a unicyle
+++
i got told it sounds catchy
+++
ride a unicycle in the surf
you’ll get drop dead gorgeous women
comin up for photo ops
but you won’t get money
more importantly
you won’t get much support…
+++
only the little people will help
+++
we know who helped
+++
and mostly
why
+++
i don’t care about what
YOU
think about me and my problems
i do something positive about
my testicle problem
even if 99% of you don’t even think i’ve got a problem
i don’t give a fuck
it’s my life
i’m doin the right thing for me
you can go and get fucked
i ain’t normal
and i’m old enough and crotchety enough
not to fucking care what you think
i’m gunna be me…
+++
had to hide me till i was twenty-seven
and then bits of me came out
and shared with a wife
the biggest problem in my life
and she didn’t give a fuck
so i got divorced
cause she didn’t care
and tried again
and told her the truth
and she didn’t give a fuck
so i got divorced
cause there’s no sense
stayin with a woman
who doesn’t care
that ya’ve got sore balls
and then i told every woman
that i got close to
and i watched and listened
and found jane
and she cares
“she does give a fuck”
does she ever…
+++
mik was right
about the kind of woman
i needed in my life
+++
three years on tuesday elizabeth
you don’t own my son…
+++
and you one hundred percent
can’t stop me
writing my blog
somewhere
on the net
it’s
TOO
easy
you can buy net time
anywhere now
without a credit card
without a name
and space
on the net
is always there
out there…
+++
“in here”
+++
rather than do it your way
with fancy lawyers
and double speak
and how much money do i have in the bank
i’ll do it my way…
+++
and have thousands of people read the tale
and people are people…
+++
a sizable proportion
of the residents
of
southeast
queens land
have seen paulie
ridin around on a dirty big unicycle
makin smiles
and every day
the number goes up
and
i
the land surfer…
am laughing my fucking head off…
+++
“<<<smile>>>”
+++
“you wanna go play in court”
“with an institution”
“?”
+++
you might not have a choice
+++
the very same social workers
have a duty of care
and they fucked up
and i’ve got enough balls
to write to the premier of the state
to complain about it
and to journalists
around the world
and even tv stations
and one day
one of those eggs i dropped
will hatch
and out of it will come
my son…
+++
and justice…
+++
“i can do anything i want”
“the law favours the woman”
“all i have to do”
“is accuse you”
dead wrong…
+++
you made an enemy…
+++
and i am goin to
out
you…
+++
and there is fuck all
that you can do about it
+++
if i can get to a computer
with net access
i can rebuild the site
anywhere
and every day
the book
is stored in more places
that are
UNaccessable
the book
can’t be stopped
even if you read every word
you can’t get every copy
i did think about it
there aren’t enough clues…
+++
they don’t like you elizabeth
those women
they don’t like you at all
and one day
they’ll get off their arses
and they’ll bite you
and i won’t protect you
not this time…
you didn’t look after me…
+++
get fucked
it’s my book…
+++
coupla days
+++
then a brief respite till his brithday comes up
ah well
it’s off my chest for another day
<<< smile >>>
hey
if you got threatened with your kid
from before he was born
you’d bare a grudge too…
+++
and i’m a wizard
a wizard on a unicycle
and patient
and i will win…
+++
i ejaculate
either that or die
and i am
the land surfer…
+++
Editor’s note:
Insert newsgroup tag here.
+++
the adventures of the land surfer…
surfing the land on a unicycle
…
subtitled
“suck my fucking string…”
the story of a psychic man
adventuring his way through the subconscious in search of truth
he finds a little more than he bargained for
99% true story , only 1% bullshit, honestly…
would we lie?
book one
http://theunicycleman.tripod.com/
book two
http://plasticbong.tripod.com/
book three
http://thelandsurfer.tripod.com/
a psychic comedy…
"but you knew that right ?
+++
