Calling all Grammar Police (Part 2)

[cyberpunk]

You guys were an awsome help last time. This is the last essay of the last writing class that I will need to take for my degree(Computer Science) WOOT! Anyways I want a good grade. And as always my grammar is horrid, if anyone would be willing to take some time out of their day to tell me where the grammar or the sentence structuring makes zero sense I’d really apretiate it. Or if you just want to read it and tell me I’m a crappy writer that would work too.

A Purposeful Life
Science and purposeful creations have enabled us to create a technological world that allows us to move far beyond the dictates of nature. And gives us meaning within our lives. But before we could receive the greatest gift from science to mankind, we had to be taught a lesson in humility.
The Earth was once the cosmic center. All heavenly bodies orbited and coveted its privileged position within the universe. But when the polish astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus contested for a heliocentric universe, instead of the Earth centered view, he was met with denial, hatred and irrationality. Through great adversity an early model of the universe slowly arose with the Sun and the planets at the center and the rest of the heavens orbiting at a vast distance, and man was happy to be approximately the center. Into the 20th century Edwin Hubble continued the trend of degrading humanities’ ego by proving that large nebulas, as seen through the telescope at the Hooker observatory in New York, were island universes, or galaxies, much like our own. Humans tend to assume that they are special and somehow relevant to the cause of the universe. “Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by” every discovery that science makes which continually belittles our perceived significance within universe (Sagan, 124).
On February of 1990 the Voyager spacecraft took an image of Earth near the edge of our solar system. Our solar system is a grain of sand among all the beaches when compared to the universe. And even at this magnified scale the Earth could not fill a single pixel on the cameras lens–it was “a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam” (Sagan 124). On that mote is a manifold of living creatures and we are a single species within all the diverse forms of life the earth has allowed. “Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot” (Sagan 124). Think of how fervently they defend their delusion of greatness, impelling them to violence so they may become the momentary ruler of a single mote of dust hidden deep within the endless vacuum of the cosmos. “There is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us.”(Sagan 124).
Science has much to tell people about themselves. “For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had to somehow assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you.” (Bryson, 122). We are a dance of matter and energy constantly changing and recycling but continuing to self identify. The very atoms you are composed of do not care about you; in fact “if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time,” you would produce a pile of fine dust none of which cared you had ever, or no longer, existed (Bryson, 122). The entirety of the human race can be thought of as a single living creature. Over time it has, “abhorred oxygen and then doted on it, grown fins and limbs and jaunty sails, laid eggs, flicked the air with a forked tongue, been sleek, been furry, lived underground, lived in trees, been big as a deer and as small as a mouse,” each change forgotten but slowly shaping what we pride fully call ourselves today (Bryson, 123).
Who we are and where we come from were once questions left to philosophers and theologians. Now science has encroached on that magisterial and is slowly taking on even greater matters. What is the universe? Where did it come from? Religion has been answering humanities questions for millennia and science has a lot of catching up to do. To gain its credibility science had too answer one of the greatest questions propositioned by mankind.
Where did the very matter of the universe come? In a stroke of brilliance one of humanities greatest minds, Albert Einstein, proved that matter comes from energy and a demonstration to his theory was held within the belly of the Second World War bomber Enola Gay. But with all of Einstein’s ingenuity, his only accomplishment was to shift the skeptical nature of human curiosity. If all matter came from energy, then where did the energy come from? Recent progression in cosmology has shown that our universe is formed from positive kinetic and rest energy (The stuff we see and touch everyday) and negative gravitational energy. When very accurate cosmological measurements are taken it is shown that the average energy density of the two forces sums to zero, providing tangible evidence that the universe was created from zero energy without violating the law of energy conservation. Science has allowed us too look deep within the eyes of nature and observe its very emotions. But it has also allowed us to make nature a slave to our will, conforming its personality to our needs.
We have created a technological world that enables us to move far beyond the dictates of nature. We alleviate hunger with new strains of crops, predict weather with high-speed computers and cured diseases with pharmaceuticals. Through technology we have filled the world with purposeful creations. But technology does something else it breads an odd habit of thought. An animal that creates will see the world in a different way then any other animal. Because we create things for a purpose in the past we assumed that there was purposeful design in nature too. There wasn’t. It took Darwin too realize this–he looked deep into the heart of nature and discovered a beautiful mechanism, which blindly simulated the illusion of purpose. For the first time an evolved creature had seen beneath nature’s veil and worked out what nature was really up too.
It is this spirit of inquiry that drove Darwin that gives our life meaning, and still drives us today. Powered by our technical capacity, our flexible behavior and our rapid communication of new ideas we have burst out beyond the confines of our atmosphere to explore new worlds. And our minds have voyaged even further. We have looked across the deserted vacuum of space to distant galaxies. This means we have looked backwards in time to the very birth of the universe. At the other extreme we have looked deep into the atom at the strangeness of sub atomic particles. And still we are not satisfied. We reach out in our search for meaning until we suddenly realize it is actually we who provide the purpose in a universe that would otherwise have none.
In a small otherwise unimportant corner of the universe a birth is celebrated the birth of deliberate purpose planning design foresight for all we know it may be an unprecedented event we have no evidence that it has accrued anywhere else and after we are gone it may never happen again. We can leave behind the ruthlessness the waste the callousness of the natural world. Our brains, our language, our technology make us capable of forward planning. We can set up new proposes of our own, and among these new goals can be the complete understanding of the universe in which we live. A new kind of purpose is abroad within the universe. It resides in us.

[Jethro]

I hope your professor hasn’t read Richard Dawkins’ The Big Question: Why Are We Here?.

[siafirede]

Don’t start sentences with “And” or “But”. These words are called conjunctions and they tend to connect two words, phrases, or clauses. If you are ending a sentence with a period and then starting the next sentences with “And” or “But” then you should probably use a comma before the conjunction and not a period.

[cyberpunk]

@Jethro

I hope your professor hasn’t read Richard Dawkins’ The Big Question: Why Are We Here?.

That was a book I thought it was just a documentary damn… Removing that tidbit. It just worked so well at first I wanted to quote him but I was like, “To hell with it”

[maestro8]

@cyberpunk

Anyways I want a good grade.

Y’know a lot of students actually work to get good grades on their own. Remind us why we’re doing your homework for you, again?