Bush's resume

This speaks for itself…

RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost” and is not available.

MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for US Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought into the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry ,including Enron CEO Ken Lay. I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluting state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the US stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs. I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. My “poorest millionaire,” Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by a US President. I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in US History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I preside over the highest gasoline prices in US history. I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in US history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in US history. I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law. I refuse to allow inspectors access to US “prisoners of war” detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in US history. I garnered the most sympathy for the US in the world, after the World Trade Center, and then lost it in the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of US citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear Tactical “Bunker Buster,” a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I am a member of the Republican Party.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

wait a minute…

didnt you guys vote for bush to be president?

I sure as heck didn’t vote for him, but he almost won both the 2000 and 2004 elections.

lol, fair enough i guess.

like i always say, if you dont like it, go run you’re own country.

bush isn’t too crash hot in the way of running countries is he?

Repost, and lame.

Repost, and neccesary.

And as we head into this mid-term period, allow me to say now that nothing that gets said during the political discussions will affect my ability to talk to you about unicycling.

Under Education, you forgot that he was the head of the Drunkenest Frat on campus. And also that his C average somehow got him into Harvard Business school. How does that work?

I think it’s an updated resume, and not a repost.

Why is it lame, my fellow quadragenarian? Is there anything substantially incorrect?

It works because his daddy is president.

Anything that appears on sites like Democratic Underground or MoveOn.org is lame by definition.

Dismissing discussion points based on their web exposure is a slippery slope I’m not sure you really want to jump on?

You’re right. I’m going over to Free Republic right now to look for something to reply to this. :roll_eyes:

Political humor from MoveOn and DU is lame by definition.

One should never make political arguments that would contradict his own values: I thought redemption was a quintessential American virtue!
(moreover if you accept only people without criminal records that would reduce the pool of potential incumbents :smiley: )
The same goes for low grades at school: some very good politicians where nearly illiterate (some, like Lincoln, had a past of mental illnesses).
So better focus on accomplishments!

WOW. Well said.

The humor, lame or not, doesn’t enter into it. The facts are spot on.

GW’s accomplishments are listed quite clearly in the sections “Accomplishments as Governor” and “Accomplishments as President”.

You mean the spin is spot on.

I don’t buy all that. Anybody could make up whatever crap they wanted and post it online as true*, and get gulible people to believe it.

*not saying you did.

Before we go any further, please know that I’d like to ride with you bugman, and I wouldn’t talk politics at all. Also, I’d love to have the opportunity for you, forrestunifreak, to try and teach me some tricks. And, as for you, Mr. Childs, I’d like nothing more than to have you guide me up a few Cascade range climbs.

Now…

Well, the AWOL thing hasn’t been proven. Please name anything else you feel is “spun” and not factual and I’ll try to substantiate it for you.

Which part don’t you “buy”? Please tell me which part you think is “made up” and I’ll try to substantiate it for you.

Redemption only comes into play when someone acknoledges their past mistakes and does things to remedy themselves and show that they’ve changed. Ignoring past mistakes does not give him redemption.