I was bored when I was in SLC last week without a toy (unicycle, bicycle, roller skis), so I drove by the high school running track and decided to give it a whirl. I figure I hit rock bottom on the boring scale when I decided to do this!
Anyway I proceeded to warm up for 2 miles. I felt pretty good (and there was a girl with a dog watching) so I decided to see if I could do a mile in 8 minutes. 7 minutes and 58 seconds later I crossed the line without hurting too bad.
Since I still had quite a bit of energy left (and there was still a girl with a dog watching) I decided to see if I could run another mile a little faster. 7 minutes and 35 seconds later I crossed the line. The girl with the dog was giggling every time I ran past her.
Inspired by the attention, I decided to see if I could run another mile even faster than the last. 7 minutes and 5 seconds later I crossed the line. The girl with the dog appeard to be ogling me, and giggled even more with that manly effort.
Wanting to break 7 minutes and thinking the girl with the dog might be even more excited with a manly MAXIMUM effort, I proceeded to go for it. 6 minutes and 58 seconds later I crossed the line!
After a few minutes of rolling around in the grass I felt human again. Pleased with the results of this last effort I walked over and asked my wife what she thought about what she just saw. She said she had never seen an ass that fat move around a track that fast! Starving for anything that even resembled a compliment, I walked away flattered.
8 days later I am still not recovered (physically) from this insanity! Unicycling even at intense efforts is much easier than running. Try it and see!
dan
