Decided to try my first wet weather ride the other day. Off to Tescos for a quick shop. See how different thing would be in the wet.
So I set off from the park (shockingly, I still haven’t learnt to freemount yet) and pootle along a path. There’s a little bit of wet mulch on the path that I’m a bit wary of, but nothing too bad.
I round a corner and see two lads in coats throwing sticks for their dog (let’s call the dog Harvey). The dog (a dalmation) seems happy enough catching the sticks, but not bringing them back.
As I get closer, the lolloping dog runs round me once, then twice. The kids start shouting "Harvey! Harvey!
I carry on in a straight line along the path, thinking that the dog will lose interest and go back to his owners.
Oh no.
Harvey circles me a third time, and as he gets behind me, his playful bark turns to a growl.
I’ve had enough experience of dogs on my mountain bike to know when things are going to turn nasty, and I’ve realised about two seconds too late that this is going to turn nasty.
He’s still behind me and his growl gets uncomfortably closer.
Behind me I hear “HARVEY!”
Then I feel paws against my leg and a shooting pain in my right buttock.
“F****** DOG!” I cry out, and fall forwards.
I grab the seat post of my falling unicycle and swing it round, ready to take a pop at Harvey if he wants some.
The moment is frozen in time.
The kids eyes are as wide as dinner plates.
Harvey, sensing my anger, decides that discretion is the better part of valour, and legs it out of the park, followed by his teenage owners.
I’m left standing alone, clutching my uni in one hand, buttock in the other.
In my ten years of cycling, I’ve never been bitten before.
This is a new experience for me.
I get back on and finish my ride, and when I get home, I check out my arse (now there’s something I never thought I would be typing on a unicycling forum).
One puncture wound and some bruising.
Bloody dog!
You wait till the next time I see Harvey.
Me and him are not done.
Oh no.
To say the very least…that sucks…you should start carrying a cattle prod.
Just get a CCW permit and then you can carry a 9 mil. 
People might stop saying, “Where’s your other wheel”? 
Get a rabies shot, for sure…
i got bit in the arse too, i was walking up the ladder to the slide too slow and the kid behind got impatient and bit me butt, taht was in 3rd greade
Ahhh, that might be a problem since the UK has disarmed their citizens. I don’t even think they can carry knives. If they start using unicycles or weapons, they can kiss that goodbye too.
pepper spary works great for stopping dogs from attacking;)
I was chased by a dog on my trials one day when I was going to see everyone once they got out of school. It was a pitbull that bit me, but I got lucky, cause somehow it felt like a little nuzzle instead of a full on bite. Probably cause once I saw it jump out from the bush it was laying near, I just started pedalling like mad, so when it jumped I probably pulled a head just a while, then out ran it for a block before it gave up.
I wonder how fast I was riding my uni, to out run a dog, probably pretty fast. I cant wait to get chased on my coker, its gonna be fun to leave them in the dust, I already have to some bikers yesterday. Hehehe, I am a speed demon.
Don’t dogs get put down if they ever bite humans? Sounds like good enough revenge to me 
All dogs should be put down whether they’ve actually bitten anybody or not. They need to be eradicated from the planet. Why do people insist on keeping animals that stink, bark, dribble, bite, generally annoy and cover the world with turds?
Kill them all I say.
(in case you hadn’t guessed, I don’t like dogs much)
Rob
Most people should be put down whether they’ve actually bitten anybody or not. They need to be eradicated from the planet. Why do so many people stink, bark, dribble, bite, generally annoy and cover the world with turds?
Kill them all I say.
thats the best dog attack story i have heard in a long time. i was bitten by a dog ages ago when i was like 5. The dog bit me right on the shin which is a really dicky spot for something to bite you.
There are often dogs being walked where I unicycle but I’ve always ignored them… unless of course I’m about to run them over.
I think I’ll be a bit more wary now!!
And I’ve always thought unicycles make very good weapons. A weapon you can ride. Kinda like a tank.
Unicycles are like tanks.
And I hear what you’re saying, Mike.
yes they do make good weapons. whenever someone says “wheres your other wheel” i threaten them with a pedal to the teeth.
Probably true as well. Not sure about the barking though. And the turds don’t tend to be in the middle of paths.
If there’s one thing that gets me into rant mode it’s dogs attacking people. Possibly more people get attacked by people than get attacked by dogs (I don’t know for sure, but it sounds plausible) but it’s generally been dogs in my experience, hence my strong dislike of the things.
I had a most infuriating ride on the Malverns the other week; the weather was excellent so I went for a short evening pootle thinking it would be nice and relaxing. I rapidly discovered that I couldn’t admire the sunset and ride at the same time because of the amount of dog turd all over the place; there are some trails up there that are just disgusting at the moment, presumably with the lack of rain.
Still fuming about the irresponsibility of some dog owners on the way back I saw two yappy dogs charging towards me from a person admiring the view and ignoring their dogs completely. They went mad circling around me before one latched onto my foot and I fell off. At this point the owner turned round and said “oh, they just haven’t seen many people this evening”. I couldn’t decide whether I should kick the dogs over the cliff or the owner.
It seems incredible that some dog owners act as if everyone else is being unreasonable in not just laughing off the actions of their pet. Friendly, supervised dogs under control are fine; I have no objections at all to friendly dogs while you’re having a breather or the like, but people who don’t notice when their dog fouls the trail or starts harrassing other trail users should be put down.
Phil
i have only seen one dog bit somebody. it was fun and stupid at the same time. It was when my cusion got bit by her boyfriends(who is one of my good friends) dog. me and the dog onwer was going to leave for the beach and his girlfriend(my cusion) decided to come to his house. she was petting the dog and then it walked off. all of a sudden it took off running at her and bit her on her arm. Now ever time she goes to her boyfriends house she want get out until the dog is gone. The last time she was with me and I went to his house she was balled up in a ball hidding from it because ot put it’s head in the door.
I know that had nothing to do with riding a unicycle and getting bit but i like the story. Now when I ride i am going to be more careful about the dogs that chase after me.
The people or the dog?
Well that sucks. Hope you never get mugged! Yes, the U.S. may be as bad as other countries, but at least I can still defend myself! for now, anyway.
I hope I never get chased on my 20 inch!