Biggest post thread

ok

so

you’ve

got

to

make

a

big

post

(I’m sorry to have wasted your time)

Hey

This

isn’t

a

waste

of

time

It’s

fun!

drool :

you

make

me

sick.

yes

it’s

kindof

like

being

on

a

treasure hunt

you don’t think?

Of

course

I

Don’t

think!

ha

ha

my

grammar

is

the

suck.

It’s

ok.

I

wonder

if

this

post

will

make

the

next

page

hummmm

It

takes

15

posts.

“Class is used in the service of sexism,” says Bataille. In a sense, the characteristic theme of Finnis’s[1] model of subdialectic desituationism is the collapse, and thus the absurdity, of cultural society. The subject is interpolated into a textual theory that includes truth as a reality.

It could be said that if subdialectic desituationism holds, we have to choose between the material paradigm of expression and the neostructuralist paradigm of narrative. In Melrose Place, Spelling denies modern subdialectic theory; in Beverly Hills 90210, although, he examines the material paradigm of expression.

Thus, Marx suggests the use of subdialectic desituationism to deconstruct hierarchy. The main theme of the works of Spelling is the difference between sexual identity and class.
2. Spelling and the material paradigm of expression

If one examines textual theory, one is faced with a choice: either reject constructive appropriation or conclude that sexual identity, surprisingly, has intrinsic meaning. Therefore, Foucault promotes the use of textual theory to analyse and challenge class. Sargeant[2] states that the works of Spelling are an example of semanticist objectivism.

But if subdialectic desituationism holds, we have to choose between the material paradigm of expression and Lacanist obscurity. The example of textual theory depicted in Spelling’s Melrose Place emerges again in Models, Inc…

However, Sontag suggests the use of subdialectic desituationism to attack class divisions. The primary theme of Prinn’s[3] critique of capitalist theory is a self-referential whole. Thus, Bataille promotes the use of subdialectic desituationism to modify sexual identity. The main theme of the works of Spelling is the bridge between class and sexuality.

The main theme of the works of Spelling is not narrative per se, but postnarrative. If subcultural capitalist theory holds, we have to choose between pretextual socialism and posttextual appropriation.

“Class is intrinsically meaningless,” says Debord. However, Sartre suggests the use of Sartreist existentialism to challenge sexism. Porter[1] implies that the works of Spelling are empowering.

The primary theme of la Tournier’s[2] analysis of Lyotardist narrative is the stasis of dialectic society. In a sense, if Sartreist existentialism holds, we have to choose between pretextual capitalist theory and posttextual rationalism. The main theme of the works of Joyce is a self-fulfilling reality.

Thus, the example of feminism which is a central theme of Joyce’s Ulysses is also evident in A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man, although in a more mythopoetical sense. The primary theme of de Selby’s[3] model of Sartreist existentialism is the futility, and hence the defining characteristic, of cultural sexual identity.

However, Finnis[4] states that we have to choose between feminism and predeconstructive discourse. Sartre uses the term ‘Sartreist existentialism’ to denote the difference between society and sexuality. But the characteristic theme of the works of Joyce is the meaninglessness, and some would say the absurdity, of textual class. Several deconstructions concerning pretextual socialism exist.

However, Lyotard’s essay on feminism suggests that the media is capable of truth, but only if Sartreist existentialism is invalid; if that is not the case, the raison d’etre of the observer is social comment. The primary theme of Long’s[5] analysis of subcultural discourse is the role of the poet as writer.

Therefore, the subject is interpolated into a Sartreist existentialism that includes language as a totality. In La Dolce Vita, Fellini examines the capitalist paradigm of discourse; in 8 1/2 he analyses feminism.
2. Fellini and pretextual socialism

If one examines Sartreist existentialism, one is faced with a choice: either accept pretextual socialism or conclude that consciousness has intrinsic meaning, given that narrativity is equal to reality. It could be said that if neopatriarchial narrative holds, we have to choose between Sartreist existentialism and dialectic subsemanticist theory. A number of discourses concerning the common ground between society and class may be found.

However, the subject is contextualised into a Sontagist camp that includes truth as a paradox. Bataille promotes the use of pretextual socialism to analyse society.

Therefore, Sontag uses the term ‘feminism’ to denote not appropriation, but neoappropriation. Any number of narratives concerning pretextual socialism exist.
3. Narratives of genre

“Sexual identity is elitist,” says Marx; however, according to de Selby[6] , it is not so much sexual identity that is elitist, but rather the failure, and therefore the paradigm, of sexual identity. It could be said that Pickett[7] implies that the works of Fellini are postmodern. Baudrillard uses the term ‘capitalist rationalism’ to denote the role of the observer as reader.

In a sense, the subject is interpolated into a Sartreist existentialism that includes art as a whole. Foucault uses the term ‘pretextual socialism’ to denote not theory, as the neocultural paradigm of discourse suggests, but posttheory.

Thus, Derrida’s model of feminism holds that narrative must come from the masses. Many discourses concerning a self-justifying paradox may be revealed. In a sense, if pretextual socialism holds, we have to choose between Sartreist existentialism and materialist sublimation. Pretextual socialism states that culture is fundamentally dead.

1. Spelling and Batailleist `powerful communication’

“Sexual identity is part of the defining characteristic of language,” says Lacan. The subject is contextualised into a neodialectic textual theory that includes truth as a whole. In a sense, many situationisms concerning a self-supporting paradox exist.

If one examines cultural deappropriation, one is faced with a choice: either accept the postcapitalist paradigm of expression or conclude that academe is capable of intent, given that cultural deappropriation is invalid. Lyotard uses the term ‘the postcapitalist paradigm of expression’ to denote the role of the participant as writer. Therefore, Derrida promotes the use of cultural deappropriation to deconstruct outmoded perceptions of class.

“Society is fundamentally dead,” says Lacan; however, according to Bailey[1] , it is not so much society that is fundamentally dead, but rather the rubicon, and hence the defining characteristic, of society. The closing/opening distinction prevalent in Spelling’s Models, Inc. is also evident in Beverly Hills 90210. It could be said that the main theme of the works of Spelling is a textual whole.

The characteristic theme of von Junz’s[2] model of Batailleist `powerful communication’ is the common ground between sexual identity and class. The premise of the postcapitalist paradigm of expression holds that art is used to oppress the proletariat. However, the primary theme of the works of Spelling is a mythopoetical reality.

Subdialectic rationalism states that consensus comes from the collective unconscious. It could be said that the main theme of d’Erlette’s[3] essay on the postcapitalist paradigm of expression is the role of the participant as poet.

The premise of Batailleist `powerful communication’ implies that reality has intrinsic meaning. However, la Tournier[4] suggests that the works of Spelling are an example of textual libertarianism.

Several discourses concerning the postcapitalist paradigm of expression may be found. Thus, in Chasing Amy, Smith examines postdeconstructive socialism; in Clerks, however, he analyses cultural deappropriation.

Lacan’s model of textual constructivism states that culture is part of the rubicon of sexuality, but only if consciousness is equal to sexuality. However, if cultural deappropriation holds, the works of Smith are reminiscent of McLaren.

Sargeant[5] holds that we have to choose between Batailleist `powerful communication’ and textual discourse. Thus, the subject is interpolated into a postcapitalist paradigm of expression that includes culture as a whole.
2. Postdeconstructivist narrative and capitalist rationalism

In the works of Smith, a predominant concept is the concept of prematerialist reality. An abundance of situationisms concerning the futility, and eventually the fatal flaw, of textual society exist. Therefore, capitalist rationalism implies that class, somewhat surprisingly, has significance.

“Sexual identity is meaningless,” says Derrida; however, according to Parry[6] , it is not so much sexual identity that is meaningless, but rather the stasis, and some would say the fatal flaw, of sexual identity. If Batailleist powerful communication' holds, we have to choose between capitalist pretextual theory and material dematerialism. But Debord uses the term 'Batailleist powerful communication’’ to denote not, in fact, theory, but subtheory.

If one examines precultural Marxism, one is faced with a choice: either reject cultural deappropriation or conclude that the law is part of the rubicon of language. A number of deappropriations concerning Batailleist `powerful communication’ may be revealed. However, Porter[7] states that we have to choose between cultural deappropriation and Sartreist existentialism.

Many discourses concerning the fatal flaw of subcultural class exist. But the premise of capitalist rationalism implies that reality is capable of significance.

The subject is contextualised into a Batailleist powerful communication' that includes truth as a reality. Therefore, Marx's critique of capitalist rationalism holds that the task of the participant is significant form, but only if the premise of Batailleist powerful communication’ is valid; if that is not the case, the collective is capable of deconstruction.

In August 2000, Joe Edley won the American National Scrabble Championship for the third-time, beating 600 competitors. He walked away from the tournament in Providence, Rhode Island with a cheque for $25,000. Not bad money for playing a game, you say. But Scrabble isn’t just a matter of placing some lettered tiles on a board. To be a champion, you need a vocabulary the size of, well, a dictionary.

More than a game of strategy, Scrabble is a war of words, and in particular which ones are accepted in tournaments. In the United States and Canada, the Official American Scrabble Dictionary is used to define which words are admissible. Scrabblers – the accepted term for those addicted to the game – regard the OASD as their bible. But for people more familiar with using “proper” English, playing by it can be like playing in a foreign language.

Official American Scrabble DictionaryLet’s take the word wonned. This is not an ungrammatical form of the word win, but, according to the OASD, comes from a word meaning “to dwell”. Determined Scrabblers can find plenty of similar twists to the language within the OASD. Did you know that vim, meaning energy or vigour, by adding an “s” can be pluralized; that fido is not just a dog or a cellphone but a defective coin?

I have been a Scrabbler for over fifty years, starting as a young child. Even now, when I come across words that are new to me, I try to use them in a sentence, although it isn’t always easy. For example, I haven’t yet managed to come up with a use for “vims.” Or take the word footier. It was played against me once in a tournament and I assumed that it had something to do with anatomy – as in a two-legged man saying to a one-legged man, “I’m footier than you.” However, the OASD defines it as the comparative of footy, meaning “paltry.”

We all know that a skunk is a pretty animal which, as a method of defence, releases a powerful stench. Nowadays the word skunk is also used as a verb and has come to mean being heavily defeated or trounced. In a tournament once, my opponent, officially blind and sanctioned by the Scrabble Association to have his playing time per game extended from 25 minutes to 30, played a brilliant game. His knowledge of acceptable words was amazing. Holding each of his playing tiles up close to his eyes to see them, and – with his nose almost touching the board – using a very powerful magnifying glass to study the tiles I laid, he memorized all the plays, unable as he was to see the whole of the board. Oh, I was well and truly skunked.

Players of international tournament standard often spend an hour or more a day memorizing lists of arcane words. Even humble recreational players like myself can be found before a tournament mumbling Q words that don’t require a U, like Qaid (the plural form of a Muslim leader) and Qat (the plural form of an evergreen shrub). On the other hand, when one is inundated with vowels, it pays to know “vowel-dump” words, such as naoi (an ancient temple), aecia (a spore-producing organ of certain fungi) and zoeae (the plural of a larval form of certain crustaceans).

Then there are the out words. The OASD provides over a thousand words with the prefix out. A person can outbid another at an auction – I don’t think anyone would have trouble with that – but outhomering, outgrinned, or outkissed? (“One moonlight night Jennie found Bob far outkissed Tom” might be one way to use the word, I suppose – if, that is, you accept that outkissed really is a word.) The OASD has decided, however, that you can’t be outsexed!

Words with the prefix non are nearly as numerous, not to mention as odd – nonjuring (meaning someone who refuses to take a required oath), nonselves (foreign material in a body), nonmen (beings that are not men). Then there are the curious connotations the Americans conjure from the prefix re. I’m partial to rejacketed (to redon or replace ones jacket) and relume (to light again).

A couple of pages on, you’ll find reremouse No, it’s nothing to do with computers, but is a bat or flying mammal. The word reredoes does not, as you would imagine, mean a person redoes something and then does it yet again for a third or fourth time, but is “an ornamental screen covering the wall behind an altar.”

When playing in the United Kingdom and several other countries not of the Americas, the Official Scrabble Words (OSW) published by Guild Publishing London, is used as the final authority. The OSW accepts many words the Official American Scrabble Dictionary does not, such as Qi (a Chinese life force).

Official Scrabble WordsThere has been much deliberation over whether the two dictionaries, the OASD and the OSW, should be combined to produce the final authority for all tournaments, to be known by the acronym SOWPODS (combining the letters of Official Scrabble Players Dictionary and Official Scrabble Words). Proponents of the idea argue that players world-wide would be using the same vocabulary. Those against claim – get this – that the OSW has too many strange and obsolete words! American Scrabble Association members have voted against the proposal, but the issue will be raised again in five years.

Even if you’re not into playing Scrabble, time spent with the official American Scrabble Dictionary can be a vocabulary-expanding experience. The National Scrabble Association’s Director’s Manual reports that someone devised an imaginary, though possible, Scrabble game that included one play forming eight words simultaneously, scoring 1,774 points. The eight words were oxphenbutazone, opacifying, xis, preinterviewed, bladderlike, aforethought, zonetime, and ejaculating. You’re not sure of some of their meanings? You know where to look.

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE AND TABLE OF CONTENTS.
(a) SHORT TITLE- This Act may be cited as the `Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism (USA PATRIOT ACT) Act of 2001’. (b) TABLE OF CONTENTS- The table of contents for this Act is as follows:

Sec. 1. Short title and table of contents. 

Sec. 2. Construction; severability. 

TITLE I–ENHANCING DOMESTIC SECURITY AGAINST TERRORISM

Sec. 101. Counterterrorism fund. 

Sec. 102. Sense of Congress condemning discrimination against Arab and Muslim Americans. 

Sec. 103. Increased funding for the technical support center at the Federal Bureau of Investigation. 

Sec. 104. Requests for military assistance to enforce prohibition in certain emergencies. 

Sec. 105. Expansion of National Electronic Crime Task Force Initiative. 

Sec. 106. Presidential authority. 

TITLE II–ENHANCED SURVEILLANCE PROCEDURES

Sec. 201. Authority to intercept wire, oral, and electronic communications relating to terrorism. 

Sec. 202. Authority to intercept wire, oral, and electronic communications relating to computer fraud and abuse offenses. 

Sec. 203. Authority to share criminal investigative information. 

Sec. 204. Clarification of intelligence exceptions from limitations on interception and disclosure of wire, oral, and electronic communications. 

Sec. 205. Employment of translators by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. 

Sec. 206. Roving surveillance authority under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978. 

Sec. 207. Duration of FISA surveillance of non-United States persons who are agents of a foreign power. 

Sec. 208. Designation of judges. 

Sec. 209. Seizure of voice-mail messages pursuant to warrants. 

Sec. 210. Scope of subpoenas for records of electronic communications. 

Sec. 211. Clarification of scope. 

Sec. 212. Emergency disclosure of electronic communications to protect life and limb. 

Sec. 213. Authority for delaying notice of the execution of a warrant. 

Sec. 214. Pen register and trap and trace authority under FISA. 

Sec. 215. Access to records and other items under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. 

Sec. 216. Modification of authorities relating to use of pen registers and trap and trace devices. 

Sec. 217. Interception of computer trespasser communications. 

Sec. 218. Foreign intelligence information. 

Sec. 219. Single-jurisdiction search warrants for terrorism. 

Sec. 220. Nationwide service of search warrants for electronic evidence. 

Sec. 221. Trade sanctions. 

Sec. 222. Assistance to law enforcement agencies. 

Sec. 223. Civil liability for certain unauthorized disclosures. 

Sec. 224. Sunset. 

Sec. 225. Immunity for compliance with FISA wiretap. 

TITLE III–INTERNATIONAL MONEY LAUNDERING ABATEMENT AND ANTI-TERRORIST FINANCING ACT OF 2001

Sec. 301. Short title. 

Sec. 302. Findings and purposes. 

Sec. 303. 4-year congressional review; expedited consideration. 

Subtitle A–International Counter Money Laundering and Related Measures

Sec. 311. Special measures for jurisdictions, financial institutions, or international transactions of primary money laundering concern. 

Sec. 312. Special due diligence for correspondent accounts and private banking accounts. 

Sec. 313. Prohibition on United States correspondent accounts with foreign shell banks. 

Sec. 314. Cooperative efforts to deter money laundering. 

Sec. 315. Inclusion of foreign corruption offenses as money laundering crimes. 

Sec. 316. Anti-terrorist forfeiture protection. 

Sec. 317. Long-arm jurisdiction over foreign money launderers. 

Sec. 318. Laundering money through a foreign bank. 

Sec. 319. Forfeiture of funds in United States interbank accounts. 

Sec. 320. Proceeds of foreign crimes. 

Sec. 321. Financial institutions specified in subchapter II of chapter 53 of title 31, United States code. 

Sec. 322. Corporation represented by a fugitive. 

Sec. 323. Enforcement of foreign judgments. 

Sec. 324. Report and recommendation. 

Sec. 325. Concentration accounts at financial institutions. 

Sec. 326. Verification of identification. 

Sec. 327. Consideration of anti-money laundering record. 

Sec. 328. International cooperation on identification of originators of wire transfers. 

Sec. 329. Criminal penalties. 

Sec. 330. International cooperation in investigations of money laundering, financial crimes, and the finances of terrorist groups. 

Subtitle B–Bank Secrecy Act Amendments and Related Improvements

Sec. 351. Amendments relating to reporting of suspicious activities. 

Sec. 352. Anti-money laundering programs. 

Sec. 353. Penalties for violations of geographic targeting orders and certain recordkeeping requirements, and lengthening effective period of geographic targeting orders. 

Sec. 354. Anti-money laundering strategy. 

Sec. 355. Authorization to include suspicions of illegal activity in written employment references. 

Sec. 356. Reporting of suspicious activities by securities brokers and dealers; investment company study. 

Sec. 357. Special report on administration of bank secrecy provisions. 

Sec. 358. Bank secrecy provisions and activities of United States intelligence agencies to fight international terrorism. 

Sec. 359. Reporting of suspicious activities by underground banking systems. 

Sec. 360. Use of authority of United States Executive Directors. 

Sec. 361. Financial crimes enforcement network. 

Sec. 362. Establishment of highly secure network. 

Sec. 363. Increase in civil and criminal penalties for money laundering. 

Sec. 364. Uniform protection authority for Federal Reserve facilities. 

Sec. 365. Reports relating to coins and currency received in nonfinancial trade or business. 

Sec. 366. Efficient use of currency transaction report system. 

Subtitle C–Currency Crimes and Protection

Sec. 371. Bulk cash smuggling into or out of the United States. 

Sec. 372. Forfeiture in currency reporting cases. 

Sec. 373. Illegal money transmitting businesses. 

Sec. 374. Counterfeiting domestic currency and obligations. 

Sec. 375. Counterfeiting foreign currency and obligations. 

Sec. 376. Laundering the proceeds of terrorism. 

Sec. 377. Extraterritorial jurisdiction. 

TITLE IV–PROTECTING THE BORDER
Subtitle A–Protecting the Northern Border

Sec. 401. Ensuring adequate personnel on the northern border. 

Sec. 402. Northern border personnel. 

Sec. 403. Access by the Department of State and the INS to certain identifying information in the criminal history records of visa applicants and applicants for admission to the United States. 

Sec. 404. Limited authority to pay overtime. 

Sec. 405. Report on the integrated automated fingerprint identification system for ports of entry and overseas consular posts. 

Subtitle B–Enhanced Immigration Provisions

Sec. 411. Definitions relating to terrorism. 

Sec. 412. Mandatory detention of suspected terrorists; habeas corpus; judicial review. 

Sec. 413. Multilateral cooperation against terrorists. 

Sec. 414. Visa integrity and security. 

Sec. 415. Participation of Office of Homeland Security on Entry-Exit Task Force. 

Sec. 416. Foreign student monitoring program. 

Sec. 417. Machine readable passports. 

Sec. 418. Prevention of consulate shopping. 

Subtitle C–Preservation of Immigration Benefits for Victims of Terrorism

Sec. 421. Special immigrant status. 

Sec. 422. Extension of filing or reentry deadlines. 

Sec. 423. Humanitarian relief for certain surviving spouses and children. 

Sec. 424. `Age-out' protection for children. 

Sec. 425. Temporary administrative relief. 

Sec. 426. Evidence of death, disability, or loss of employment. 

Sec. 427. No benefits to terrorists or family members of terrorists. 

Sec. 428. Definitions. 

TITLE V–REMOVING OBSTACLES TO INVESTIGATING TERRORISM

Sec. 501. Attorney General's authority to pay rewards to combat terrorism. 

Sec. 502. Secretary of State's authority to pay rewards. 

Sec. 503. DNA identification of terrorists and other violent offenders. 

Sec. 504. Coordination with law enforcement. 

Sec. 505. Miscellaneous national security authorities. 

Sec. 506. Extension of Secret Service jurisdiction. 

Sec. 507. Disclosure of educational records. 

Sec. 508. Disclosure of information from NCES surveys. 

TITLE VI–PROVIDING FOR VICTIMS OF TERRORISM, PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICERS, AND THEIR FAMILIES
Subtitle A–Aid to Families of Public Safety Officers

Sec. 611. Expedited payment for public safety officers involved in the prevention, investigation, rescue, or recovery efforts related to a terrorist attack. 

Sec. 612. Technical correction with respect to expedited payments for heroic public safety officers. 

Sec. 613. Public safety officers benefit program payment increase. 

Sec. 614. Office of Justice programs. 

Subtitle B–Amendments to the Victims of Crime Act of 1984

Sec. 621. Crime victims fund. 

Sec. 622. Crime victim compensation.

Chorus:

Alice in Wonderland, how do you get to Wonderland?
Over the hill or underland, or just behind the tree?
When clouds go rolling by, they roll away and leave the sky.
Where is the land beyond the eye, that people can not see, where can it be?
Where do stars go, where is the crescent moon?
They must be somewhere in the sunny afternoon.
Alice in Wonderland, where is the path to Wonderland?
Over the hill or here or there, I wonder where.

Sister: …leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria declared for him, and even Stigand… Alice!

Alice: Hmm…? Oh, I’m listening.

Sister: And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown.

Alice: Hihihi!

Sister: William’s conduct at first was mo…

Alice: Hihihi!

Sister: Alice…! Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?

Alice: I’m sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?

Sister: My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.

Alice: In this world perhaps. But in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.

Sister: Your world? Huh, what nonsense. Now…

Alice: Nonsense?

Sister: Once more. From the beginning.

Alice: That’s it, Dinah! If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?

Dinah: Meow!

Alice: In my world, you wouldn’t say ‘meow’. You’d say ‘Yes, miss Alice’.

Dinah: Meow!

Alice: Oh, but you would! You’d be just like people, Dinah, and all the other animals too. Why, in my world… Cats and rabbits, would reside in fancy little houses, and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers. In a world of my own. All the flowers would have very extra special powers, they would sit and talk to me for hours, when I’m lonely in a world of my own. There’d be new birds, lots of nice and friendly how-de-do birds, everyone would have a dozen bluebirds, within that world of my own. I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song, that I could understand. I keep wishing it could be that way, because my world would be a wonderland.

Dinah: Meow! Meow! Meow!

Alice: Oh Dinah! Its just a rabbit with a waistcoat… and a watch!

White Rabbit: Oh my fur and whiskers! I’m late, I’m late I’m late!

Alice: Now this is curious! What could a rabbit possibly be late for? Please, sir!

White Rabbit: I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Alice: It must be awfully important, like a party or something! Mister Rabbit! Wait!

White Rabbit: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I’m overdue. I’m really in a stew. No time to say goodbye, hello! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Alice: My, what a peculiar place to have a party.

Dinah: Meow!

Alice: You know, Dinah, we really shouldn’t…uhh…uhh…be doing this… After all, we haven’t been invited! And curiosity often leads to troubl – l – l – e – e – e! Goodbye, Dinah! Goodbye! … Oh! Well, after this I shall think nothing of fa-… of falling downstairs! … Oh! Ahhh… Oh, Goodness! What if I should fall right through the center of the earth… oh, and come out the other side, where people walk upside down. Oh, but that’s silly. Nobody… oh! Oh, ha ha. Oh, mister Rabbit! Wait! Please! … Curiouser and curiouser!

Doorknob: Ohhhhh!!

Alice: OH! Oh, I beg your pardon.

Doorknob: Oh, oh, it’s quite all right. But you did give me quite a turn!

Alice: You see, I was following…

Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob, turn?

Alice: Please, sir.

Doorknob: Well, one good turn deserves another! What can I do for you?

Alice: Well, I’m looking for a white rabbit. So, um, if you don’t mind…

Doorknob: Uh? Oh!

Alice: There he is! I simply must get through!

Doorknob: Sorry, you’re much too big. Simply impassible.

Alice: You mean impossible?

Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing’s impossible! Why don’t you try the bottle on the table?

Alice: Table? Oh!

Doorknob: Read the directions, and directly you’ll be directed in the right direction. He he he!

Alice: ‘Drink me’. Hmmm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked ‘poison’, it’s almost certain to disagree with one, sooner or later.

Doorknob: Beg your pardon!

Alice: I was just giving myself some good advice. But… hmm, tastes like oh… cherry tart… custard… pineapple… roast turkey… goodness! What did I do?

Doorknob: Ho ho ho ho! You almost went out like a candle!

Alice: But look! I’m just the right size!

Doorknob: Oh, no use! Ha ha ha ha. I forgot to tell you, ho ho ho ho! I’m locked!

Alice: Oh no!

Doorknob: Ha ha ha, but of course, uh, you’ve got the key, so…

Alice: What key?

Doorknob: Now, don’t tell me you’ve left it up there!

Alice: Oh, dear! What ever will I do?

Doorknob: Try the box, naturally.

Alice: Oh! ‘Eat me’. All right. But goodness knows what this will do… wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

Doorknob: whtwhsthswwdthdwd!

Alice: What did you say?

Doorknob: I said: ‘a little of that went a long way’! Ha ha ha ha!

Alice: Well, I don’t think it’s so funny! Now- now I shall never get home!

Doorknob: Oh, come on now. Crying won’t help.

Alice: I know, but I- I- I just can’t help myself!

Doorknob: Hey, this won’t do! Bwbwlwbbwlwbl! Say, this won’t do at all! You, you up there, stop! Stop, I say! Oh look! The bottle, the bottle…

Alice: Oh dear, I do wish I hadn’t cried so much.

Doorknob: glpglpglp…

Dodo: Oh, the sailor’s life is the life for me, how I love to sail on the bounding sea, and I never never ever do a thing about the weather for the weather never ever does a thing for me. Oh, a sailor’s life is a life for me, tiddle um (prrt, prrt) tiddle dum dum dee! And I never ne… ahoy! And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!

Parrot: Where away, Dodo?

Alice: Dodo?

Dodo: Three points to starboard. Follow me, me hearties! Have you at port no time at all now, haha! Oh…

Alice: Mister Dodo!

Dodo: Johoho, and a bottle of sea, we love each time…

Alice: Please! Please help me! … Um, pardon me, but uh, would you mind helping me? Please? Yoo Ho! Yoo Ho! Help me! Please! Help me!

Dodo: Forward, backward, inward, outward, come and join the chase! Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus-race. Backward, forward, outward, inward, bottom to the top, never a beginning there can never be a stop to skipping, hopping, tripping, fancy free and gay, I started it tomorrow and will finish yesterday. Round and round and round we go, and dance for evermore, once we were behind but now we find we are be-forward, backward, inward, outward, come and join the chase! Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus-race. For backward… I say! You’ll never get dry that way!

Alice: Get dry?

Dodo: Have to run with the others! First rule of a caucus-race, you know!

Alice: But how can I…

Dodo: That’s better! Have you dry in no time now!

Alice: No-one can ever get dry this way!

Dodo: Nonsense! I am as dry as a bone already.

Alice: Yes, but…

Dodo: All right, chaps! Let’s head now! Look lively!

Alice: The white rabbit! Mister Rabbit! Mi- mister Rabbit!

White Rabbit: Oh, my goodness! I’m late! I’m late!

Alice: Oh, don’t go away! I’ll be right back!

White Rabbit: I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Dodo: Don’t step on the fish! Eric, there, watch it there stop kicking that mackerel! William…

Alice: Mister Rabbit! Oh, mister Rabbit! Oh dear, I’m sure he came this way. Do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmmm… not here. I wonder… No, I suppose he must have… Oh! Why, what peculiar little figures! Tweedle Dee… and Tweedle Dum!

Tweedle Dee: If you think we’re wax-works, you ought to pay, you know!

Tweedle Dum: Contrariwise, if you think we’re alive you ought to speak to us!

Dee & Dum: That’s logic!

Alice: Well, it’s been nice meeting you. Goodbye!

Dee: You’re beginning backwards!

Dum: Aye, the first thing in a visit is to say: How do you do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do you do and shake hands and state your name and business.

Dee & Dum: That’s manners!

Alice: Really? Well, my name is Alice and I’m following a white rabbit. So…

Dee: You can’t go yet!

Dum: No, the visit has just started!

Alice: I’m very sorry…

Dum: Do you like to play hide-and-seek?

Dee: Or button-button, who’s got the button?

Alice: No, thank you.

Dee: If you stay long enough we might have a battle!

Alice: That’s very kind of you, but I must be going.

Dee & Dum: Why?

Alice: Because I am following a white rabbit!

Dee & Dum: Why?

Alice: Well, I- I’m curious to know where he is going!

Dum: Ohhhh, she’s curious! Tsk! tsk! tsk! ts!..

Dee: The oysters were curious too, weren’t they?

Dum: Aye, and you remember what happened to them…

Dee & Dum: Poor things!

Alice: Why? What did happen to the oysters?

Dee: Oh, you wouldn’t be interested.

Alice: But I am!

Dum: Oh, no. You’re in much too much of a hurry!

Alice: Well, perhaps I could spare a little time…

Dee & Dum: You could? Well…

Dee: ‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’!

Dum: Or: ‘The story of the curious Oysters’!

Dee & Dum: The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might, he did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright. And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night. The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand. The beach was white from side to side but much too full of sand. ‘Mister Walrus’, said the Carpenter: ‘My brain begins to perk. We’ll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don’t mind the work.’

Walrus: Work? Uh, pff, brrrr! Uh the time has come…

Dee & Dum: …the Walrus said…

Walrus: …to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Callooh, callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings! … Oh, uhhh, oysters, come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright! A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, would be a sheer delight!

Carpenter: Yes, and should we get hungry on the way, we’ll stop and uh… have a bite!

Walrus: Hrmmmm!

Dee & Dum: But mother Oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head. She knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed.

Mother oyster: The sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here.

Dee & Dum: Mom said.

Walrus: Yes, yes, of course, of course! But eh… haha! The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other
things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Haha! Callooh, callay, come run away! We’re the cabbages and kings! … Hrmmm, well now, uh… let me see… Ah! A loaf of bread is what we chiefly need.

Carpenter: So how about some pepper and salt and vinegar, aye?

Walrus: Oh yes, yes, splendid idea! Haha, very good indeed! Now, if you’re ready, oysters dear… haha… we can begin the feed.

Oysters: Feed?

Walrus: Oh yes, ahh, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things!

Carpenter: Of peppercorn some mustard seed and other seasonings. We’ll mix them all together in a sauce that’s fit for kings. Callooh, callay, we’ll eat today, like cabbages and kings!

Walrus: I uh, weep for you, I -uh- oh, excuse me, I deeply sympathize. For I’ve enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize.

Carpenter: Little oysters, little oysters…

Dee & Dum: But answer there came none. And this was scarcely odd, because, they’d been eaten, every one!

Walrus: Hmm, well, uhhh, ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, hmm… the time has come!

Dee & Dum: We’re cabbages and kings! The end!

Alice: That was a very sad story.

Dum: Aye, and there’s a moral to it.

Alice: Oh yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster. Well, it’s been a very nice visit…

Dum: Another recitation…

Alice: I’m sorry, but…

Dum: Its titled ‘Father William’.

Alice: But really, I’m…

Dum: First verse: You are old father William, the young man said and your hair has become very white. And yet you incessantly stand on your head, do you think at your age it is right, is right, do you think at your age it is right? Well, in me youth, father William replied to his son, I’d do it again and again and again and I’d done it again and again and again…

Alice: Now I wonder who lives here…

White Rabbit: Mary Ann! Drat that girl. Where did she put 'em? Mary Ann!

Alice: The rabbit!

White Rabbit: Mary Ann! No use, can’t wait, I’m awfully late, oh me oh my oh me oh my!

Alice: Excuse me sir, but- but I’ve been trying to…

White Rabbit: Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?

Alice: Mary Ann?

White Rabbit: Don’t just do something stand there! Uh… no no! Go go! Go get my gloves! I’m late!

Alice: But late for what? That’s just what I…

White Rabbit: My gloves! At once, do you hear!

Alice: Goodness. I suppose I’ll be taking orders from Dinah next. Hmmm, now let me see. If I were a rabbit, where would I keep my gloves? Oh! Thank you. Don’t mind if I do. Hmhm. Hmhm. Hmhmhmhmhmhm. Hmhmhmhmhmhm-oeh! Oh no no, not again!

White Rabbit: Oh! Mary Ann! Now you see here, Mary Ann… Help! No! No! Help! Monsters! Help,
assistance!

Alice: Hrmm… hrmm… hrmm… dear!

White Rabbit: A monster! A monster, Dodo! In my house, Dodo!

Alice: Dodo…?

White Rabbit: Oh might, poor little bitty house…

Dodo: Uh, steady old champ.Can’t be as bad as all that you know.

White Rabbit: Oh my poor roof and rafters, all my walls and… there it is!

Dodo: By Jove! Jolly well?? is! Isn’t it?

White Rabbit: Well, do something, Dodo!

Dodo: Yes, indeed! Extraordinary situation, but eh…

White Rabbit: But- but- but- but- but what?

Dodo: But I have a very simple solution!

Alice: Thank goodness!

White Rabbit: Wha- wha- what is it?

Dodo: Simply pull it out the chimney.

White Rabbit: Yes, go- go- go on, go on! Pull it out!

Dodo: Who? Me? Don’t be ridiculous! What we need is eh… a lizard with a ladder!

White Rabbit: Hmm? Oh! Bill! Bill! Eh, we need a lazzerd with a lizard, a lizard a bb…b… can you help us?

Bill: At your service, governor!

Dodo: Here, my lad??. Have you ever been down a chimney?

Bill: Why governor, I’ve been down more chimneys…

Dodo: Excellent, excellent. You just pop down the chimney, and haul that monster out of there.

Bill: Righto, governor! Monster? Hoeaaaaah! No! No! …

Dodo: Steady now. That’s better! Bill, lad, you’re passing up a golden opportunity!

Bill: I am?

Dodo: You can be famous!

Bill: I can?

Dodo: Of course! There’s a brave lad! In you go now. Nothing to it, old boy. Simply tie your tail around the monsters neck and drag it out!

Bill: But- but- but governor!

Dodo: Good luck, Bill!

Alice: Ah- ah- ah- ah… choo!

Dodo: Well, there goes Bill…

Alice: Poor Bill…

Dodo: Ehh, perhaps we should try a more energetic remedy.

White Rabbit: Yes, anything, anything. But hurry!

Dodo: Now, I- I propose that we… uhh…

White Rabbit: Yes, come on, come on, yes, yes…

Dodo: I propose that we… uhh… dow! By Jove! That’s it! We’ll burn the house down!

White Rabbit: Yes, hihi! Burn the house… what?

Alice: Oh no!

Dodo: Hi ho! Oh, we’ll smoke the blighter out. He’ll put the beast to rout. Some kindling, a stick or two, all this bit of rubbish ought to do.

White Rabbit: Oh dear…

Dodo: We’ll smoke the blighter out, we’ll smoke the monster out!

White Rabbit: No, no! Not my beautiful birdhouse!

Dodo: Oh, we’ll roast the blighter’s toes, we’ll toast the bounder’s nose! Just fetch that gate, we’ll make it clear that monsters aren’t welcome here.

White Rabbit: Oh me, oh my…

Dodo: A match!

White Rabbit: Match?

Dodo: Thank you! We’ll blow the thing there out, we’ll smoke the monster out!

White Rabbit: We’ll smoke the monster out… noho! Noho, my poor house and furniture…

Alice: Oh dear, this is serious! I simply must… oh! A garden! Perhaps if I eat something it will make me grow smaller…

White Rabbit: Ahhhh! Oh, let go! Help!

Alice: I’m sorry, but I must eat something!

White Rabbit: Not me, you- you- you- you- you barbarian! Help! Monsters! Help! Ah! I’m late! Oh dear, I’m here, I should be there! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Dodo: Ah, say, do you have a match?

White Rabbit: Must go. Goodbye. Hello. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Alice: Wait! Please wait!

Dodo: Ah, young lady! Do you have a match?

Alice: No, I- I’m sorry, but… mister Rabbit!

Dodo: No cooperation, no cooperation at all? We can’t have monsters about! Jolly will have to carry on alone! Pf, pf, pf, pf…

Alice: Wait! Please! Just a minute! Oh, dear. I’ll never catch him while I’m this small. Why curious butterflies!

Rose: You mean bread-and-butterflies.

Alice: Oh, yes, of course, I… hmm? Now who do you suppose… Ah, a horse fly! I mean, a- a rocking horse fly!

Rose: Naturally!

Alice: I beg your pardon, but uhh… did you… oh, that’s nonsense. Flowers can’t talk.

Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.

Iris: If there’s anyone worth talking to.

Daisy: Or about! Hahahaha!

Pansies: And we sing too!

Alice: You do?

Tulips: Oh, yes. Would you like to hear ‘Tell it to the tulips’?

Larkspur??: No, let’s sing about us!

Violets: We know one about the shy little violets…

1st Lily: Oh, no, not that old thing!

2nd Lily: Let’s do ‘Lovely lily at the valley’!

Daisies: How about the daisies in the…

Lilac: Oh, she wouldn’t like that!

Rose: Girls, girls! We shall sing: ‘Golden afternoon’. That’s about all of us! Sound your A, Lily!

Lily: Laaaa…

Pansies: Mimimimi…

Daisy: Lalalala…

Iris: Hahahahahahaha…

Dandelions: Poem, poem poem, poem poem poem poem poem…

All flowers: Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips, and the sun is like a toy balloon. There are get up in the morning glories, in the golden afternoon. There are dizzy daffodils on the hillside, strings of violets are all in tune, Tiger lilies love the dandelions, in the golden afternoon, the golden afternoon. There are dog and caterpillars and a copper centipede, where the lazy daisies love the very peaceful life they lead… You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, for especially in the month of June. There’s a wealth of happiness and romance, all in the golden afternoon. … All in the golden afternoon, the golden afternoon…

Alice: You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, for especially in the month of June. There’s a wealth of happiness and romance, all…

Flowers: …the golden afternoon!

Alice: Oh, that was lovely.

Rose: Thank you, my dear.

Daisy: What kind of garden do you come from?

Alice: Well I don’t come from any garden…

Daisy: Oh, do you suppose she’s a wild flower?

Alice: Oh no, I’m not a wild flower…

Rose: Just what specie, or shall we say, genus, are you, my dear?

Alice: Well, I suppose you call me a genus, humanus, eh… Alice!

Daisy: Ever seen an Alice with a blossom like that?

Iris: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?

Daisy: Yes, and did you notice her petals? What a peculiar color!

Iris: And no fragrance!

Daisy: Hahaha! Just look at those stems!

Iris: Rather scrawny, I’d say.

Rose bud: I think she’s pretty!

Rose: Quiet, bud!

Alice: But I’m not a flower!

Iris: Aha! Just as I suspected! She’s nothing but a common mobile vulgaris!

Flowers: Oh no!

Alice: A common what?

Iris: To put it bluntly: a weed!

Alice: I’m not a weed!

Tulip: Well, you wouldn’t expect her to admit it.

Lilac: Can you imagine!

Daisy: Well, goodness!

Lily: Don’t let her stay here and go to seed!

Other flower??: Go on now!

Rose: Please, girls…

Pansies: We don’t want weeds in our bed!

Other flower: Move along, move along!

Alice: Oh, all right, if that’s the way you feel about it. If I were my right size, I could pick every one of you if I wanted to! And I’d guess that’d teach you!

Flowers: Hihihi!

Alice: You can learn a lot of things from the flowers… Huh! Seems to me they could learn a few things about manners!

Caterpillar: A, e i o u, a e i o u, a e i o u, o, u e i o a, u e i a, a e i o u… Who are you?

Alice: I- I- I hardly know, sir! I changed so many times since this morning, you see…

Caterpillar: I do not see. Explain yourself.

Alice: Why, I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir, because I’m not myself, you know…

Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: Well, I can’t put it anymore clearly for it isn’t clear to me!

Caterpillar: You? Who are you?

Alice: Well, don’t you think you ought to tell me- cough-cough, cough-cough, who you are first?

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Oh dear. Everything is so confusing.

Caterpillar: It is not.

Alice: Well, it is to me.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, I can’t remember things as I used to, and…

Caterpillar: Recite.

Alice: Hmm? Oh! Oh, oh, yes, sir! Um… how doth the little busy bee, improve each shi…

Caterpillar: Stop! That is not spoken correcitically. It goes: how…

Alice: Hihihi!

Caterpillar: Hmm! How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer… how cheer… Ahem!

Alice: Hihihihi!

Caterpillar: How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.

Alice: Well I must say I’ve never heard it that way before…

Caterpillar: I know, I have improved it.

Alice: Well, cough-cough-couch, if you ask me…

Caterpillar: You? Huh, who are you?

Alice: Cough-cough, cough-cough, A-choo! Oh!

Caterpillar: You there! Girl! Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!

Alice: Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now. Well…?

Caterpillar: Keep your temper!

Alice: Is that all?

Caterpillar: No. Exacitically, what is your problem?

Alice: Well, it’s exacitici-, exaciti-, well, it’s precisely this: I should like to be a little larger, sir.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and…

Caterpillar: I am exacitically three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!

Alice: But I’m not used to it. And you needn’t shout! Oh dear!

Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller…

Alice: One side of what?

Caterpillar: …and the other side will make you grow shorter.

Alice: The other side of what?

Caterpillar: The mushroom, of course!!

Alice: Hmm. One side will make me grow… but which is which? Hmm. After all that’s happened, I- I wonder if I… I don’t care. I’m tired of being only three inches high -yi -yi -yi -yi -yi!

Bird: Ah! A serpent! Aaaaahhh! Help! Serpent! Serpent!

Alice: Oh, but please! Please!

Bird: Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpent!

Alice: But I’m not a serpent!

Bird: So? Indeed? Then just what are you?

Alice: I’m just a little girl!

Bird: Little? Ha, little? Whahahaha!

Alice: Well I am! I mean, I- I was…

Bird: And, I suppose you don’t eat eggs, either?

Alice: Yes, I do, but…

Bird: I knew!

Alice: But- but- but…

Bird: I knew it! Serpent! Serpent!

Alice: Oh, for goodness sake! Hmmm… and the other side will…

Bird: A very idea! Spend all my time lying eggs, for serpents like her! Aaaaaaahhh! Oh, Oh, oh, oh!

Alice: Goodness… I wonder if I’ll ever get the knack of it. There, that’s much better. Hmmm… I better save these. Now let’s see, where was I? Hmmm, I wonder which way I ought to go…

Cheshire Cat: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe.

Alice: Now where in the world do you suppose that…

Cheshire Cat: Uh… loose something?

Alice: Oh! Hehe, Oh uhhh… hehe… I- I was… no, no, I- I- I- I mean, I uhh… I was just wondering…

Cheshire Cat: Oh uhh, that’s quite all right! Oh, hrmm, one moment please… Oh! Second chorus… 'Twas brilllig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe…

Alice: Why, why you’re a cat!

Cheshire Cat: A Cheshire Cat. All mimsy were the borogoves…

Alice: Oh, wait! Don’t go, please!

Cheshire Cat: Very well. Third chorus…

Alice: Oh no no no… thank you, but- but I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go.

Cheshire Cat: Well, that depends on where you want to get to.

Alice: Oh, it really doesn’t matter, as long as I g…

Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go! Ah-hmm… and the momeraths outgrabe… Oh, by the way, if you’d really like to know, he went that way.

Alice: Who did?

Cheshire Cat: The white rabbit.

Alice: He did?

Cheshire Cat: He did what?

Alice: Went that way?

Cheshire Cat: Who did?

Alice: The white rabbit!

Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?

Alice: But didn’t you just say… I mean… oh dear!

Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?

Alice: Oh!

Cheshire Cat: However, if I were looking for a white rabbit, I’d ask the Mad Hatter.

Alice: The Mad Hatter? Uh… no, no, I don’t- I don’t…

Cheshire Cat: Or, there’s the March Hare. In that direction.

Alice: Oh, thank you. I- I think I shall visit him.

Cheshire Cat: Of course, he’s mad too.

Alice: But I don’t want to go among mad people!

INTRODUCTION

1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries.

2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.

3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later.

4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence: it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.

5. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.
   THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MODERN LEFTISM

6. Almost everyone will agree that we live in a deeply troubled society. One of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism, so a discussion of the psychology of leftism can serve as an introduction to the discussion of the problems of modern society in general.

7. But what is leftism? During the first half of the 20th century leftism could have been practically identified with socialism. Today the movement is fragmented and it is not clear who can properly be called a leftist. When we speak of leftists in this article we have in mind mainly socialists, collectivists, “politically correct” types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like. But not everyone who is associated with one of these movements is a leftist. What we are trying to get at in discussing leftism is not so much a movement or an ideology as a psychological type, or rather a collection of related types. Thus, what we mean by “leftism” will emerge more clearly in the course of our discussion of leftist psychology (Also, see paragraphs 227-230.)

8. Even so, our conception of leftism will remain a good deal less clear than we would wish, but there doesn’t seem to be any remedy for this. All we are trying to do is indicate in a rough and approximate way the two psychological tendencies that we believe are the main driving force of modern leftism. We by no means claim to be telling the WHOLE truth about leftist psychology. Also, our discussion is meant to apply to modern leftism only. We leave open the question of the extent to which our discussion could be applied to the leftists of the 19th and early 20th century.

9. The two psychological tendencies that underlie modern leftism we call “feelings of inferiority” and “oversocialization.” Feelings of inferiority are characteristic of modern leftism as a whole, while oversocialization is characteristic only of a certain segment of modern leftism; but this segment is highly influential.
   FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY

10. By “feelings of inferiority” we mean not only inferiority feelings in the strictest sense but a whole spectrum of related traits: low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, depressive tendencies, defeatism, guilt, self-hatred, etc. We argue that modern leftists tend to have such feelings (possibly more or less repressed) and that these feelings are decisive in determining the direction of modern leftism.

11. When someone interprets as derogatory almost anything that is said about him (or about groups with whom he identifies) we conclude that he has inferiority feelings or low self-esteem. This tendency is pronounced among minority rights advocates, whether or not they belong to the minority groups whose rights they defend. They are hypersensitive about the words used to designate minorities. The terms “negro,” “oriental,” “handicapped” or “chick” for an African, an Asian, a disabled person or a woman originally had no derogatory connotation. “Broad” and “chick” were merely the feminine equivalents of “guy,” “dude” or “fellow.” The negative connotations have been attached to these terms by the activists themselves. Some animal rights advocates have gone so far as to reject the word “pet” and insist on its replacement by “animal companion.” Leftist anthropologists go to great lengths to avoid saying anything about primitive peoples that could conceivably be interpreted as negative. They want to replace the word “primitive” by “nonliterate.” They seem almost paranoid about anything that might suggest that any primitive culture is inferior to our own. (We do not mean to imply that primitive cultures ARE inferior to ours. We merely point out the hypersensitivity of leftish anthropologists.)

12. Those who are most sensitive about “politically incorrect” terminology are not the average black ghetto-dweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society. Political correctness has its stronghold among university professors, who have secure employment with comfortable salaries, and the majority of whom are heterosexual, white males from middle-class families.

13. Many leftists have an intense identification with the problems of groups that have an image of being weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals), or otherwise inferior. The leftists themselves feel that these groups are inferior. They would never admit it to themselves that they have such feelings, but it is precisely because they do see these groups as inferior that they identify with their problems. (We do not suggest that women, Indians, etc., ARE inferior; we are only making a point about leftist psychology).

14. Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men.

15. Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality. The reasons that leftists give for hating the West, etc. clearly do not correspond with their real motives. They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization. Thus it is clear that these faults are not the leftist’s real motive for hating America and the West. He hates America and the West because they are strong and successful.

16. Words like “self-confidence,” “self-reliance,” “initiative”, “enterprise,” “optimism,” etc. play little role in the liberal and leftist vocabulary. The leftist is anti-individualistic, pro-collectivist. He wants society to solve everyone’s needs for them, take care of them. He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confidence in his own ability to solve his own problems and satisfy his own needs. The leftist is antagonistic to the concept of competition because, deep inside, he feels like a loser.

17. Art forms that appeal to modern leftist intellectuals tend to focus on sordidness, defeat and despair, or else they take an orgiastic tone, throwing off rational control as if there were no hope of accomplishing anything through rational calculation and all that was left was to immerse oneself in the sensations of the moment.

BOOM shaukalaukalauka BOOM shaukalaukalauka ACE!

Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can’t help that. Almost everyone is mad here. Ha… ha ha ha ha ha! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself… hahaha… and the momeraths outgrabe…

Alice: Goodness. If the people here are like that, I- I must try not to upset them. How very curious!

March Hare: …to us. If there are no objections, let it be unanimous!

Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday…

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday…

Mad Hatter & March Hare: A very merry unbirthday to us! …

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday to me.

Mad Hatter: To who?

March Hare: To me.

Mad Hatter: Oh you!

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday to you.

Mad Hatter: Who, me?

March Hare: Yes, you.

Mad Hatter: Oh me!

March Hare: Let’s all congratulate us with another cup of tea, a very merry unbirthday to you!

March Hare & Mad Hatter: No room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room!

Alice: But I thought there was plenty of room!

March Hare: Ah, but it’s very rude to sit down without being invited!

Mad Hatter: I say it’s rude. Its very very rude, indeed! Hah!

Dormouse: Very very very rude, indeed…

Alice: Oh, I’m very sorry, but I did enjoy your singing and I wondered if you could tell me…

March Hare: You enjoyed our singing?

Mad Hatter: Oh, what a delightful child! Hah! I’m so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea!

March Hare: Ah, yes indeed! The tea, you must have a cup of tea!

Alice: That would be very nice. I’m sorry I interrupted your birthdayparty… uh, thank you.

March Hare: Birthday? Hahaha! My dear child, this is not a birthdayparty!

Mad Hatter: Of course not! Hehehe! This is an unbirthdayparty!

Alice: Unbirthday? Why, I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand.

March Hare: Its very simple. Now, thirty days have sept- no, when… an unbirthday, if you have a birthday then you… haha… she doesn’t know what an unbirthday is!

Mad Hatter: How silly! Ha ha ha ha! Ah-hum… I shall elucidate! Now statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday.

March Hare: Imagine, just one birthday every year.

Mad Hatter: Ahhh, but there are 364 unbirthdays!

March Hare: Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer!

Alice: Why, then today is my unbirthday too!

March Hare: It is?

Mad Hatter: What a small world this is.

March Hare: In that case… a very merry unbirthday.

Alice: To me?

Mad Hatter: To you!

March Hare: A very merry unbirthday.

Alice: For me?

Mad Hatter: For you! Now blow the candle out, my dear and make your wish come true! Hihihi!

March Hare & Mad hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder what you’re at! Up above the world you fly, like a tea-tray in the sky!

Alice: Oh, that was lovely!

Mad Hatter: And uh, and now my dear, hehe, uh… you were saying that you would like to sea… uh…? You were seaking some information some kind… hehe!

Alice: Oh, yes. You see, I’m looking for a…

Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!

Alice: But I haven’t used my cup!

March Hare: Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down, clean cup, clean cup, move down!

Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?

Alice: Well, I haven’t had any yet, so I can’t very well take more…

March Hare: Ahh, you mean you can’t very well take less!

Mad Hatter: Yes! You can always take more than nothing!

Alice: But I only meant that…

Mad Hatter: And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you. Uh, won’t you tell us all about it?

March Hare: Start at the beginning.

Mad Hatter: Yes, yes! And when you come to the end, hehehe, stop! See?

Alice: Well, it all started while I was sitting on the riverbank with Dinah.

March Hare: Very interesting. Who’s Dinah?

Alice: Why, Dinah is my cat. You see…

Dormouse: Cat?

March Hare: Hurry! Give the jam! Quickly! Give the jam! On his nose! Put it on his nose!

Mad Hatter: On his nose, on his nose!

Dormouse: Where’s the cat…

Mad Hatter: Oh. Oh, my goodness! Those are the things that upset me!

March Hare: See all the trouble you’ve started?

Alice: But really, I didn’t think…

March Hare: Ah, but that’s the point! If you don’t think, you shouldn’t talk!

Mad Hatter: Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!

Alice: But I still haven’t used…

Mad Hatter: Move down, move down, move down, move down… And now my dear, as you were saying?

Alice: Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with uh… with you know who…

Mad Hatter: I do, hehehe?

Alice: I mean my C - A - T…

Mad Hatter: Tea?

March Hare: Just half a cup if you don’t mind.

Mad Hatter: Come, come my dear. hehehe! Don’t you care for tea?

Alice: Why, yes, I’m very fond of tea, but…

March Hare: If you don’t care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Alice: Well, I’ve been trying to ask you…

March Hare: I have an excellent idea! Let’s change the subject!

Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice: Riddles? Let me see now. Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?

Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter: Why is a what?

March Hare: Careful! She’s stark raving mad!

Alice: But- but it’s your silly riddle! You just said…

Mad Hatter: Very good??!

March Hare: How about a nice cup of tea?

Alice: A nice cup of tea, indeed! Well, I’m sorry, but I just haven’t the time!

March Hare: The time, the time! Who’s got the time?

White Rabbit: No, no, no, no! No time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye! I’m late! I’m late!

Alice: The white rabbit!

White Rabbit: Oh, I’m so late! I’m so very very late!

Mad Hatter: Well, no wonder you’re late! Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!

White Rabbit: Two days slow?

Mad Hatter: Of course you’re late. Hahaha! My goodness. We’ll have to look into this. A-ha! I see what’s wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!

White Rabbit: Oh, my poor watch! Oh, my wheels! My springs! But- but- but- but, but- but- but…

Mad Hatter: Butter! Of course, we need some butter! Butter!

March Hare: Butter!

White Rabbit: But- but- butter?

Mad Hatter: Butter, oh, thank you, butter. Ha ha. Yes, that’s fine.

White Rabbit: Oh no no, no no no you’ll get crumbs in it!

Mad Hatter: Oh, this is the very best butter! What are you talking about?

March Hare: Tea?

Mad Hatter: Tea! Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course!

White Rabbit: No!

Mad Hatter: Tea! hehehe

White Rabbit: No! Not tea!

March Hare: Sugar?

Mad Hatter: Sugar. Two spoons, yes, ha, two spoons. Thank you, yes.

White Rabbit: Oh, please! Be careful!

March Hare: Jam?

Mad Hatter: Jam! I forgot all about jam!

White Rabbit: No, no! Not jam!

Mad Hatter: Yes, sure you want, it’s nice to see.

March Hare: Mustard?

Mad Hatter: Mustard? Yes, but… Mustard? Don’t let’s be silly! Lemon, that’s different, that’s… yes! That should do it. Hahaha! … Look at that!

March Hare: Its going mad!

Alice: Oh, my goodness!

White Rabbit: Oh dear!

March Hare: It is going mad! Mad watch!

Mad Hatter: I don’t understand, it’s the best butter.

March Hare: Mad watch! Mad watch! Mad watch!

Mad Hatter: Oh, look! Oh my goodness!

March hare: There’s only one way to stop a mad watch!

Mad Hatter: Two days slow, that’s what it is.

White Rabbit: Oh, my watch…

Mad Hatter: It was?

White Rabbit: And it was an unbirthday present too.

March Hare: Well, in that case…

March Hare & Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Alice: Mister Rabbit! Oh, mister Rabbit! Oh, now where did he go to?

March Hare & Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday to us, to us. A very merry unbirthday to us, to us…

Alice: Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I’ve ever been to in all my life. Well, I’ve had enough nonsense. I’m going home. Straight home. That rabbit. Who cares where he’s going anyway. Why, if it hadn’t been for him I… ‘Tulgey Wood’… Hmm, curious. I don’t remember this. Now let me see… Oh! Uh, no no, please. No more nonsense. Now, if I came this way, I should go back this way!

Duck: Quack!

Alice: Oh, I beg your pardon!

Duck: Quack quack quack quack! …

Alice: Goodness. When I get home I shall write a book about this place… If I- if I ever do get home… Oh, um, excuse me! Um, could one of you tell me… uh… ha ha, never mind. Oh dear. Its getting dreadfully dark. And nothing looks familiar. I shall certainly be glad to get out of… Oh! … It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change! Oh! ‘Don’t step on the momeraths’. The momeraths? Oh! A path! Oh thank goodness! Why, I just knew I’d find one sooner or later. Oh, if I hurry back I might even be home in time for tea! Oh, won’t Dinah be happy to see me! Oh, I just can’t wait 'till I- oh! Oh dear! Now I- now I shall never get out. Well, when- when one’s lost, I- I suppose it’s good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But- but who’d ever think to look for me here? Good advice. If I listened earlier I wouldn’t be here! But that’s just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice… but I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I’m always in. Be patient is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I’d love the change, should something strange begin. Well, I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should have known there’d be a price to pay, some day. Some day. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. Will I ever learn to do the things I should?

Chorus: Will I ever learn, learn to do the things I should?

Cheshire Cat: Hmhmhmhm… and the momeraths outgrabe.

Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat, it’s you!

Cheshire Cat: Whom did you expect? The white rabbit, perchance?

Alice: Oh, no no no no. I- I- I’m through with rabbits. I want to go home! But I can’t find my way.

Cheshire Cat: Naturally. That’s because you have no way. All ways here you see, are the queen’s ways.

Alice: But I’ve never met any queen.

Cheshire Cat: You haven’t? You haven’t? Oh, but you must! She’ll be mad about you, simply mad! Hahaha! And the momeraths outgrabe…

Alice: Please, please! Uh… how can I find her?

Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the shortcut.

Alice: Oh!

Card painters: Da dee dee da da da, Doodle de do, dee do dee do, bum bum bum bum, painting the roses red, we’re painting the roses red, we dare not stop or waste a drop, so let the paint be spread. We’re painting the roses red, we’re painting the roses red! Painting the roses red, and many a tear we shed, because we know they’ll cease to grow, in fact they’ll soon be dead. Noooo! And yet we go ahead, painting the roses red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red. Painting the roses red, we’re painting the roses red…

Alice: Oh, pardon me, but mister Three, why must you paint them red?

Card painters: Huh? Oh! Well, the fact is, miss: we planted the white roses by mistake. And, the queen, she likes them red. If she saw what we said, she’d raise a fuss and each of us would quickly loose his head.

Alice: Goodness!

Card painters: Since this is the thought we dread, we’re painting the roses red!

Alice: Oh dear! Then let me help you! Painting the roses red…

Alice & Card painters: We’re painting the roses red. Don’t tell the queen what you have seen, or say that’s what we said, what, we’re painting the roses red…

Alice: Yes, painting the roses red…

Card painters: Not pink, not green…

Alice: Not aquamarine…

Alice & Card painters: We’re painting the roses red!

Card painters: The Queen! The Queen!

Alice: The Queen!

Card painters: The Queen! …

Queen: Cards, halt! Count off!

Cards: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, Jack.

Alice: The rabbit!

White Rabbit: He…he… her imperial highness, he… her grace, her excellency, her royal majesty, the Queen of Hearts! And the King…

A card (or perhaps Mickey Mouse?): Hurray!

Queen: Hum… Who’s been painting my roses red? Who’s been painting my roses red? Who dares to taint, with vulgar paint, the royal flower bed? For painting my roses red, someone will loose his head!

Three: Oh, no! Your majesty! Please, it’s all his fault!

Two: Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!

Queen: You?

Ace: No, Two!

Queen: The Deuce you say?

Two: Not me, the Three!

Queen: That’s enough! Off with their heads!

Cards: They’re going to loose their heads, for painting the roses red, it serves them right, they planted white, the roses should be red. Oh, they’re going to loose their head…

Queen: Silence!

Alice: Oh, please, please! They were only trying to…

Queen: And who is this?

King: Uh… well, well, well, now, eh… let me see, my dear. It certainly isn’t a heart… do you suppose it’s a club?

Queen: Why, it’s a little girl.

Alice: Yes, and- and I was hoping…

Queen: Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers! Turn out your toes. Curtsey. Open your mouth a little wider, and always say ‘yes, your majesty’!

Alice: Yes, your majesty!

Queen: Hmhmhmhm. Now, um, where do you come from, and where are you going?

Alice: Well, um, I’m trying to find my way home…

Queen: Your way? All ways here are my ways!

Alice: Well, yes, I know, but I was just thinking…

Queen: Curtsey while you’re thinking, it saves time.

Alice: Yes, your majesty, but I was only going to ask…

Queen: I’ll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?

Alice: Why, yes, your majesty.

Queen: Then let the game begin!

King: In your places, in your places, By order of the king! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Queen: Shuffle deck! Cards cut! Deal cards! Cards, halt! … Silence! Pfwfwfwfw! … Off with his head!

King: Off with his head, off with his head! By order of the king. You heard what she said!

Queen: You’re next!

Alice: Oh, but…

Queen: Hahaha… my dear.

Alice: Ahhh… Yes, your majesty.

Queen: Hmhmhmhmhm…

Cards: Hahahahaha!

Alice: Oh… hahahahaha! Stop!

Queen: Grrrwl, ??

Alice: Do you want us both to loose our heads?

Flamingo: Uh! Hum!

Alice: Well, I don’t!

Cards: Hahahaha… Hurray! … Hahahaha!

Cheshire Cat: La la la da da dum… la la la hmm… I say, how are you getting on?

Alice: Not at all.

Cheshire Cat: Beg your pardon?

Alice: I said ‘not at all’!

Queen: Whom are you talking to?

Alice: Oh, uh… a cat, your majesty!

Queen: Cat? Where?

Alice: There! Oh… Oh there he is again!

Queen: I warn you child, if I loose my temper, you loose your head, understand?

Cheshire Cat: You know, we could make her really angry. Shall we try?

Alice: Oh no no!

Cheshire Cat: Oh, but it’s lots of fun!

Alice: No, no, no! Stop! Oh no!

White Rabbit: Oh my fur and whiskers!

King: Oh dear! Save the queen!

Queen: Someone’s head will roll for this! Yours! Off with her…

King: But- but consider, my dear. Couldn’t she have a trial… uh… first?

Queen: Trial?

King: Well, just a… uh… little trial? Hmm?

Queen: Hmm. Very well then. Let the trial begin!

White Rabbit: Huh… your majesty… members of the jury… loyal subjects…

King: A-hem…

White Rabbit: …and the king. The prisoner at the bar is charged with enticing her majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, and thereby willfully…

Alice: But…

White Rabbit: …and with malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved…

Queen: Don’t mind all that! Get to the part where I loose my temper.

White Rabbit: Bwbwbwl… thereby causing the queen to loose her temper.

Queen: Now, Ha ha… are you ready for your sentence?

Alice: Sentence? Ah, but there must be a verdict first!

Queen: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

Alice: But that just isn’t the way!

Queen: All ways are…

Alice: Your ways, your majesty.

Queen: Yes, my child. Off with her…

King: Consider, my dear. Uh… we called no witnesses… Uh… couldn’t we hear… maybe one or two? Ha? Maybe?

Queen: Oh, very well. But get on with it!

King: First witness! First witness! Ah, we’ll call the first witness.

White Rabbit: The March Hare.

King: Oh, oh, what do you know about this uh… unfortunate affair?

March Hare: Nothing.

Queen: Nothing whatever?

March Hare: Nothing whatever!

Queen: That’s very important! Jury, write that down!

Alice: Unimportant, uh… your majesty means of course…

Queen: Silence! Next witness.

White Rabbit: The Dormouse!

Queen: Well…

Cards: Shhh!

Queen: What have you to say about this?

Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder…

Queen: That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet. Write that down!

Jury: Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle…

Alice: Twinkle, twinkle. What next?

White Rabbit: The Mad Hatter!

Mad Hatter: Oh… he he he he!

Queen: Off with your hat!

Mad Hatter: Oh, my! He he he!

King: And eh… where were you when this horrible crime was committed?

Mad Hatter: I was home, drinking tea. Today you know is my unbirthday.

King: Why, my dear! Today is your unbirthday too!

Queen: It is?

March Hare & Mad Hatter: It is?

Cards: It is?

Mad Hatter, March Hare and Cards: A very merry unbirthday!

Queen: To me?

Alice: Oh no!

Mad Hatter, March Hare and Cards: To you! A very merry unbirthday!

Queen: For me?

Mad Hatter, March Hare and Cards: For you!

Mad Hatter: Now blow the candle out, my dear and make your wish come true! He he he.

Mad Hatter, March Hare and Cards: A very merry unbirthday, to you!

Alice: Oh! Your majesty!

Queen: Oh, yes, my dear?

Alice: Look! There he is now!

Queen: He? Where? Who?

Alice: The Cheshire Cat!

Queen: Cat?

Dormouse: Cat! Cat? Cat cat cat cat!

March Hare: Hang on, hang on!

Mad Hatter: This is terrible!

Dormouse: Cat cat cat cat!

Mad Hatter: Help! Help!

King: Catch him! Stand in!

March Hare: Catch him! Catch him! Go for it!

Mad Hatter: Help him! Catch him! Give me the jam, the jam!

King: The jam! The jam! By order of the king!

Mad Hatter: The jam!

Queen: Let me have it! Somebody’s head is going to roll for this! A-ha!

Alice: The mushroom!

Queen: Off with her h…hmpf!

Alice: Oh, pooh. I’m not afraid of you! Why, you’re nothing but a pack of cards!

Cards: Huh?

King: Rule forty-two: all persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately.

Alice: I’m not a mile high. And I’m not leaving.

Queen: Hehehe… sorry! Rule forty-two, you know.

Alice: And as for you, your majesty! Your majesty indeed! Why, you’re not a queen, but just a fat, pompous, bad tempered old ty- tyrant…

Queen: Hmhmhmhm… and uh… what were you saying, my dear?

Cheshire Cat: Well, she simply said that you’re a fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant, hahahaha!

Queen: Off with her head!

King: You heard what her majesty said! Off with her head! …

All: Forward, backward, inward, outward, here we go again! No one ever looses and no one can ever win. Backward, forward, outward, inward, bottom to the top, there’s…

Queen: Off with her head! Off with her head!

March Hare: Just a moment! You can’t leave a tea party without having a cup of tea, you know!

Alice: But- but I can’t stop now!

March Hare: Ah, but we insist! You must join us in a cup of tea!

Queen: Off with her head!

Alice: Mister Caterpillar! What will I do?

Caterpillar: Who are you?

Alice: Cough-cough! Cough-cough!

Queen: There she goes! Don’t let her get away! Off with her head!

Doorknob: Awww! Still locked, you know.

Alice: But the Queen! I simply must get out!

Doorknob: Oh, but you are outside.

Alice: What?

Doorknob: See for yourself!

Alice: Why, why that’s me! I’m asleep!

Queen: Don’t let her get away! Off with her head!

Alice: Alice, wake up! Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Alice! Alice!

Sister: Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?

Alice: Huh? Oh. Oh! Uh… how doth the little crocodile, improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the…

Sister: Alice, what are you talking about?

Alice: Oh, I’m sorry, but you see, the Caterpillar said…

Sister: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sake. Alice, I… Oh, well. Come along, it’s time for tea.

Chorus:

Alice in Wonderland, over the hill or here or there, I wonder where.

Alice in Wonderland, how do you get to Wonderland?
Over the hill or under land, or just behind the tree?
Alice in Wonderland, where is the path to Wonderland?
Over the hill or here or there, I wonder where.

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ITEMNO530
Protect the pipeline!

Registered: Jun 2003
Location: Woodland, CA.
Exclamation Most Replys!!!

I want to get the most replys on this thread, like 200+ that would be cool… spam? NAH!! chata!! Oh, cool, my PEPSI can has an “Unlimited Rides: Wednesdays & Thursdays: ONLY 6.95: After 3P.M.” coupon thingermajig, AWESOME!! Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, here I come on my Uni of DEATH!!!
HAH! ANyways, reply, don’t just read… read and reply… REPLY!!! MUST GET MOST OF A LOT OF MANY REPLYS!!! whatever that means

No, no sir, I don’t like it.

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GILD
Waffle-Tosser and Time-bider

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: johannesburg, south africa
Re: Most Replys!!!

quote:Originally posted by ITEMNO530
I want to get the most replys on this thread, like 200+ that would be cool.... 

compared to the ‘clean jokes’ thread, u’re on a hiding to nothing
unless u can find a way to subconciously draw people here and make them post without them even knowing it
or come up with some fascinating conversation starter

If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.-- William H. Mauldin
NAMASTE!
Dave

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djm
David John Mason

Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto Lake Macquarie NSW Australia

I’m with Dave Gild here Itemno530. These are the most responses in Just Conversation. I hope that is.

Gallery of Clean jokes: 6210 - Still Adding
Gallery of Funny Pictures: 5051 - Still Adding
Gallery of Unicycling Dreams: 690 - Still Adding

Good Luck Itemno530… I’ll be watching.

David

http://www.unicyclist.com/gallery/davidsalbum
davidjmason[at]unicyclist[dot]com
unifreakperson[at]yahoo[dot]com[dot]au
David J. Mason
UFP-DJM

Last edited by djm on 08-19-2003 at 01:39 AM

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James
Expert Unicyclist

Registered: Jul 2003
Location:

just thought i would do my bit

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daino149
On Vacation - till i find a job

Registered: May 2002
Location: San Jose, CA

Go team go!

Check out my pics: www.unicyclist.com/gallery/daino Updated: 04.10.19 Seatpost and rail adapter
My X-a-n-g-a
I need to find a job

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Sofa
you - pee - dee

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: London, Ontario

This is stupid, I’m not going to reply to this

Happy Life Day

Unicycle Product Reviews 107 reviews on 72 products

London Unicycling Club (London, Ontario, Canada)

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treepotato
No brakes, No limits…Felix

Registered: May 2003
Location: UK
her goes

i’ll add to our reply number here you go

Some unicycles can give nasty pedal bites…i still have the scars to prove it

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paco
Co-Founder of the PacoGild Movement

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Provo, UT

Me too!

“OMG! Teh world r0xx0rz as India pwns Pakistan!!11one!1”
-USA Today in 10 years

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Old Post 08-19-2003 09:37 AM
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paco
Co-Founder of the PacoGild Movement

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Provo, UT

I must admit, though, I really doubt you’re going to beat the other threads previously posted.
Hey DJM, how did you know which ones have the most number of replies?

“OMG! Teh world r0xx0rz as India pwns Pakistan!!11one!1”
-USA Today in 10 years

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Old Post 08-19-2003 09:40 AM
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paco
Co-Founder of the PacoGild Movement

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Provo, UT

Oh, never mind. You can just click on ‘replies’ when you’re on the ‘Just Conversation’ page.
Actually, what you were looking at was number of views of those posts. The actual list (for number of replies) goes like this:
Gallery of clean jokes------276
Gallery of funny pictures–141
X-Box vs. Playstation 2----65

“OMG! Teh world r0xx0rz as India pwns Pakistan!!11one!1”
-USA Today in 10 years

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Old Post 08-19-2003 09:46 AM
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jagur
Random Unicyclist

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: {So-Lame,Oregon}

almost three thousand.

Tim’s main man.

Forget_Your_Life

-------MUNI MILITIA -------
One Wheeled Death Squad

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Old Post 08-19-2003 10:14 AM
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zod
Southern Fried mUni

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: North Carolina

worst thread ever… (oops I just replied)

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Old Post 08-19-2003 10:18 AM
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Mandell
Keen Beginner

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: Victoria, BC, Canada

This is silly

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Old Post 08-19-2003 11:07 AM
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chirokid
The Russian Bear!!!

Registered: Jun 2003
Location: Mountians of East Tennessee

I refuse to be drawn into this scheme… --chirokid–

“Other than that, the best maintenance is to keep riding it as this helps to keep the eccentric nut on the saddle in optimal condition.” quote by Mikefule

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Old Post 08-19-2003 01:48 PM
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gerblefranklin
Trials Unicyclist

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: San Francisco
ramblings