"Bicycle Thieves Should Burn in Hell"

I once saw a sticker on a bike stand which read something along the lines of “bicycle thieves should burn in hell”. I mean, I think any kind of theft is really bad and all, but it seemed a bit extreme to wish that on someone.

Well, today after an Engineers Without Borders meeting I walked out of the building to find my unicycle gone. All that was left was my beefy (and kind of pricey) OnGuard lock, cut clean in the middle. Kris Holm 36 with 110/125 dual-holes, T-bar, VDO cycle computer mount. I’ve had it for about a month, since my old coker rolled it’s last revolution after a solid six years of loving abuse.

I was confused. I grabbed my lock and sort of walked around a bit as the reality slowly hit me, someone stole my unicycle.

Now, I’ve had a few things stolen from me before. I know what it feels like to discover that someone was there, and took something from me. It’s awful. But this was completely different. I can understand now the sticker I saw on the bike rack. It’s not about having something stolen. Having a bicycle or unicycle stolen is something else altogether.

My unicycle is more than an object to me. It is freedom. It is independence, self-sufficiency. It’s my daily reminder that I can do almost anything if I really want to, and that absolutely anything is possible. It gives me joy, starts conversations, keeps me fit. It connects me, physically, allowing me literally to go places and do things I couldn’t otherwise. And one more time I’ll say freedom. Whoever it was didn’t just take a unicycle, they took all of those things away from me.

My unicycle is also not just an object to me because it it so personal. I’ve spent the past weeks riding it, but these rides are more than mere transportation. They have been about learning, adapting, connecting with the wheel. I don’t really know how to articulate what I’d like to say, but I think anyone here knows what I mean. My tire pressure is just right, after a lot of trial and error. Learning. My handlebar is adjusted just so. I know exactly what I can do on this machine in this configuration.

Stealing a unicycle or bicycle is low. Much lower than most other theft. Cycle thieves should burn in hell.

Sucks, don’t it?

After my b*ke was pinched, thanks to the vigilance of my LBS, I was able to see the cops snap the cuffs on the scumbag that nicked it, and was extremely fortunate to get it back.

Keep an eye on eBay and other auction sites, and visit all local second-hand and pawn shops.

Fingers crossed for you.

I’ve been riding 36ers from 1999 to the present and I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. With a little luck maybe you can get it back through lbs and police help. Very eloquently said. Good luck.


That sucks! Was it in Ottawa? Because I’m riding alot in Ottawa so if I ever see a KH36 I could tell you where I saw it.

That just make me remember something my friend told me: “Never steal something that is not worth at least $1000000!!”

Oh man I’m so sorry to hear that dude :frowning: I hope you get it back somehow, fingers crossed.

Ugh, that sucks. If it comes up for sale this community will spot it somewhere!

:frowning: :frowning: :frowning:


That blows massive monkey chunks. I feel bad enough when somebody eyeballs my uni if I’m not on it. I must say, I’m much ‘closer’ to my 36er, because as you said, it’s so much more than just a wheel and seat. I would be hunting them down, There can’t be a lot of those uni’s around, it doesn’t matter where you live. And the unicycle community is so small that you should have a good chance of seeing it again, hopefully not in pieces. I just don’t see the mindset in stealing something so specialized. Not that I see the point in stealing in the first place. I hope they get what’s coming to them, and I’m sorry about your uni.

my bud lost a $4k DH rig off his roof to later reclaim it on ebay! the kid was busted. good luck! sorry you’re having to deal with that.

anything sport related or that you ordered custom or customized yourself… abfuklutely sucks!

You description of what you uni means to you really captures what sporting good stuff means to us.

Sorry for your loss and the sad thing is the person who stole it probably doesn’t even ride. Good luck on the recovery. Post anywhere you can find that it was stolen and and keep your eye on ebay, craiglist, or its equivalent for where you live, etc. Put flyers up on campus. Watch newspapers, weekly classifieds whatever. Watch for like six weeks. Send a letter with a picture to very bike shop in a big area.

Given the specealized nature of a 36" wheel, (but looks impressive) I’m thinking it was stolen for money. Or when someone sees how hard it is to ride (learning on a smaller wheel is hard enough eh?) they are going to try to sell it.

Karma might dictate that the fool that stole it will try to ride it, fall off and break his spine and you’ll just happen to be in the area to witness it…

Did you have any identifying marks on it?
First thing I did with my Muni was yank the wheel and engrave part of my SSN and part of my drivers license number in a hidden spot on the frame and then again under the seat…

Cant be to many of those in that town, put up flyers with pictures, give a picture to the cops and so on

Thanks for all the support, it was pretty upsetting. The theft that is, not the support. Support was awesome!

I’ve notified police, campus security, and have gotten to a few bike shops so far. I’ve got rss feeds from craigslist, ebay, etc lined up, will be watching there. Posters go up tomorrow. I found this thread on a bike forum which seems to have some pretty good advice I’m trying to follow.

I’m quite sure I’m the only one in this town riding a 36. I know a guy called Ian who just got a kh29 so I hope no one gives him trouble over this, thinking it might be mine… Shouldn’t; he’s got a brake, and I don’t think he has a handlebar. Not to mention the smaller wheel.

I’m pretty well known in kingston so I don’t think they’d have much luck trying to sell it here.

The uni itself has some fairly unique features. Ha, I won’t list them all in case the thief is really clever and reading this, but it’s got some Bedford Unicycles stickers on the frame, and dual-holed cranks, plus the computer mount. I will definitely be putting markings on this and all future unicycles though, wish I’d done that already.

Seems like a lot of folks posting stories online conclude with them getting their bikes back. Maybe not a good sample to go by, but still encouraging!

After my unicycles (2) were pinched from my car in 2000, thanks to the vigilance of my LBS, I was able to see the cops snap the cuffs on the scumbag that nicked it, and was extremely fortunate to get it back. :smiley:

In my case, the thief was dumb enough to take the unicycles to the closest bike shop to my house, to have them remove the splined cranks. Fortunately for me, it was probably the only unicycle in California with splined cranks at the time, and I had alerted all the local shops to look for unusual unicycles. Bless them! They told him they needed his full address and phone number to do the service, heh heh.

All lock-cutting thieves should burn in hell. Nobody steals a unicycle so they can eat, or to save lives. No good excuses. Maybe to buy drugs, but that’s not eating.

Use caution even then. A couple of years ago, one of Lance Armstrong’s time trial bikes was stolen from a truck or storage area in Sacramento during the Tour of CA. It was a one-of-a-kind bike and very high profile. Lance did get it back. :slight_smile:

You can call the bike shops, but I recommend visiting the pawn shops. If you ask them to look out for unicycles, they will get offended that you think they’d sell stolen property. I’m sure they check the ownership on everything they buy. Aren’t you? :roll_eyes:

Also keep an eye on Craigslist. eBay involves shipping, but Craigslist can be much more anonymous.

And post some pictures of it here, if you have them. In the event it shows up in Belgium next year, one of us may spot it there!

Hell is too good for bike thieves

Very sorry to hear about this. Theft is frustrating. At the beginning of the month I bought a nice mountain bike for my younger sister to ride to school and within a week someone had cut the lock and swiped it. I have been combing ebay and craigslist daily but so far no luck. She also put posters around school.

I have since read many articles on the subject and stamping your SSN or driver’s license # into the frame seems like a good idea.

I have thought about locking up one of my nicest bikes in the same place and waiting around with a camera and a can of pepper spray but the truth is I have little time. If I caught a picture of one of these creeps I would post it all over the internet!

Hopefully in your case the thief will kill them self on it.

P.S. If anyone sees a small Specialized Ariel (blue & white) around let me know, I don’t see many of them.

Phil, if you want to borrow one of my Bedford 29ers until you get another ride you are welcome to do so. Just give me a call.

I felt the same way when my uni was taken. I didnt get a chance to go to any shops or anything because it was stolen the day before I left town for a while. I was very dissapointed as I was planning to ride the uni all over the place where I went and had no replacement. They took a bit of my soul that day, and if I ever find them, I will definitly get repayment in taking a bit of thier soul…

hey Phil

I was just looking at the onguard lock and found this:

It does say the warranty is only available in the states, but I was wondering if some sort of warranty came with your lock. There’s no harm in contacting the company.


I’m not sure how the rss feed works on craigslist, but make sure you’re watching the surrounding areas too.

I hope it turns up.

Thanks for the link, Iain. One of the guys in a lbs mentioned that, and I’m going to try to track down the receipt when I’m back in Ottawa this weekend. I love reading through policies like that:

I’ll call the shop where I bought it in any case.

I just added the bike listings for toronto and ottawa to my rss thing. A crazy amount of bikes are listed daily in toronto… wonder how many of them are stolen…

Carl, wow, that’s an amazing offer. A bit more complicated because I’m actually living in Kingston these days… I might just have to drop by and take one for a spin while in Ottawa this weekend because I’m already going crazy without my wheel.

Pictures. I had loaned my camera to my sister when I got it so I never did the whole new uni photo thing done. I’m now trying to track down people who have taken photos of me riding (happens a lot whenever I go through the student ghetto). A reporter also snapped some shots for the newspaper a few weeks ago, so I’m trying to find him to see if he has any of the original files still.

Here are a few closeups, the print from the newspaper (though it doesn’t show much of the uni), and the cut lock for fun.

I’d be impressed if there’s a warranty with that sort of lock, I spoke to the rep from Kryptonite about a similar (or stronger, I can’t tell from the photo) lock that was cut with bolt croppers and he said I was unlucky and those locks are designed for deterrent rather than protection - VERY easy to get through.
Please get a better lock next time (or 2 different types) and check out advice on locking bikes up which is all over the web including here

Really sorry to hear it!! I’d go mad if my 29er got damaged let alone nicked. Lucky the only places I keep it are in a secure car park and in my hall way.
I had two bikes nicked in two weeks from the same place (shoulda learnt really) Very annoying. Reported them but never got them back. I am a bit wiser now so would probably look around and try and get it back. I would assume it would be easier to get a unicycle back in my area as there are only about 4 unicyclists in my city (that ride more than a 20").

Good luck getting it back and keep us updated!