Best Uni-Crash in 30 years!

Yep, I went and had myself a good ol’ UPD. No lasting or serious injuries, just an awesome looking bloody lower leg.

Here’s the story: Around 10:30 this morning was taking the SHJag29er on a quick 5 mile ride. This ride in on a Greenway in our town. This greenway follows a beautiful river for 2.5 miles, mostly winding along a paved 7 foot wide path, with a small portion just graveled and an even smaller section, say 150 yardrs, an elevated wood boardwalk. At the very end of the boardwalk, the trail swithes to concrete for several feet and then back to pavement. This is where the fun began, at the transition of the wood boardwalk to the concrete trail. The trail also makes a hard 90 degree turn to the right at the exact moment you depart the boardwalk.

Did I mention that I did not have enough air in the SHJag Moto-Raptor tire? Well, I didn’t have enough air in it! The ShJag tube has a presta valve and I had left my pump at home. I thought, no problem, I’ll not do any hopping, just a fast, fun and un-eventful ride.

So, back to the story. Add together a smooth wooden boardwalk, nearby restaurant, and the 29er and they all beg, in unison, for speed. I was flying as I neared the end of the boardwalk and I decide to not slow at all for the 90 degree turn from wood to concrete. My idea was to just do a power lean into the turn and zip right thru that section. As I so skillfully leaned into the turn, at high speed, the Motorapor gave up it’s sidewall to the load and folded over. I’m sure I was a sight to behold. It was one of those UPD’s where your trying to fall but gravity decides to suspend itself for a moment and just laugh at you as you straddle the seat and perform an unplanned and unpractice coasting session.

After about 7 feet or so, gravity had enjoyed its little sick game for long enough and decide to claim my body for it’s own. Down I go!!! However, instead of landing on the concrete, my wonderful SHJag29er decided to break my fall. In the process, my Shimano DX pedals with the EXTRA LONG studs installed, proceeded to razor my left calf.

The damage went from behind my knee, all the way to my shoe. Eleven and 1/2 inches (yes, I measued). Six grooves are nice and long bloody cuts, with the other four only being long red marks.

No other injuries, just the bloody calf. Later in the ride, while passing a traffic light, I heard a father say to his kids, “Whoo, look at that!” I’m not sure if he was referring to the big guy gracefully zooming along on one wheel, or my unsightly blood covered leg. I didn’t stop to find out for sure.

As a post note, if anyone ever tells you that Peroxide does not burn. Run from them. Run very fast. --chirokid–

Never burned me, and I put it in my big toe (when I say in, I mean under the nail and deep down).

Holy crap, man. I can visualize that UPD like a street luger tumbling into a half dozen bails of hay.

That might make for some excellent battle scars. Are you going to take the extra long studs out? I can’t imagine they’re that necessary on a 29er.

Take care of yourself, man.


I’m really suprised with those massive calves of yours the pins didn’t just snap off! I remember when we changing out those pins that it didn’t seem like a good idea.:smiley: Hope you heal up quick, seems like the shin scars take forever to heal maybe calves a quicker.

unlucky chiro, i remembered that today is the year anniversary of the 3 scars that run down the back of my right calf the longest for 6 inches or so. it happened within 10minutes of riding / showing off to skaters, a unispin. i missed the rear pedal with my foot just going past the axle and so just spinning the pedal, with the lead leg landing the pedal clearly, it drove the cranks round nice hard and fast into my leg sweeping my back wards in the process.
I wouldnt normally count the days since an injury but today was my towns carnival and it was this day last year i did it. I resorted to going to the first aid tent because my glove wouldnt soak anymore blood up and it wasnt going to stop anytime soon, i came back the most oversized bandage but it worked nether the less.

Hmm, toes seem to be especially resilient against burning antiseptic. I had an infected toe (I know, too much information) and even a little rubbing alcohol didn’t burn my nerves.

Hey you should try some alcohol on those wounds! That, my friend, will probably bring tears to your eyes.

Ok, this useless post is over.

I want pictures! :smiley:

yeah, pictures!!! did you ge one before youd cleaned it all up, they always look the best with all the dried blood still there

Yeah, I had so many of those that I know the nerve pattern in my big toes simply from all the pain from lidocaine shots.

And yes, pictures would be awesome.

Yea, This thread is worthless without pics.:smiley: Go borrow a Digital Camera if you have to. Must have pics of Calve Burger.

God’s speed on your recovery, man. OUCH!

I hope to ride with you soon.


That sounds painful :astonished: Hope you heal quickly :slight_smile:


Peroxide doesn’t burn… it bubbles :smiley: My girlfriend complained last fall that she had used half the bottle on my knees after UPD’s :wink:

I’d be wishing him Godspeed to if I had lent him the tools that allowed him to change out those pins. Not to mention the well stocked and organized bike shop too to do it in.:smiley:

Nah, I like the feel of the long studs. Besides, if I’d removed them before today, I wouldn’t have this great story to tell. :smiley:

I forgot to wear the Superman outfit, so the pins didn’t recognize me! :slight_smile:

Tom, my cuts were longer but yours seem much worse. Mine quit bleeding pretty quickly after applying the tourniquet. Seriously, mine didn’t bleed alot. After the blood reached my shoe, it mostly stopped.

We are all sick-o’s, are we not? As soon as this injury happened, my first thoughts were, “The forum guys are gonna want pictures.” Sorry guys, no digital camara yet. But trust me, even after cleaning it for the second time, it still looks GREAT! :smiley:

Maybe I should reconsider Six-one-Six’s or the KH leg coverings. I finally realize why all you high IQ riders wear them! Thanks for the well wishes. It seems as thought it will heal very nicely.

Hum, I had forgotten the unicycle man, King Tommy, loaned me all the tools. As I remember it, he even twisted my arm while forcing me to switch the pins. I might have to see an Attorney. Then again, I really do like that waterfall in his front entrance. Maybe I could Blackmail him. In my best God Father voice, “That waterfall shows up on my porch, I forget the whole deal.” Switch to the Home Alone voice: Otherwise, “I let my TOMMY GUN do my talking… Hahahahahahaha!”

Thanks for the heads up Bugman, I know we’ve got Tommy squirming in his pants. :smiley: --chirokid–

Then come to NAUCC so we can see the calf tracks in person. :slight_smile:

As your nurse, I advise you to not waste your money on that stuff…it will just get in the way of future injuries.

What you should maybe reconsider is a digital camera, so next time you’ll be prepared. :smiley:

Tom, that sounds perfectly resonable to me. Thanks for the professional advice.

“Be Prepared” was driven into me as a Boy Scout. I am ashamed I was not (written as I hear the clang of change dropping into the Mason Jar with “Digital Camara” penciled across the front). --chirokid–

Re: Best Uni-Crash in 30 years!

That's about the same thing I said to myself at the start of my ride back on March 20th of this year. I was way more wrong than you were! (I'd rather have the bloody calf anyday ;) )  

Take it easy Keith.

  • Frank

What happened to you, Frank?

As long as we’re sharing injuries, last Thursday, I had just finished trimming the seatpost on my freestyle/trials uni, and was putting it back in. However, even with the clamp wide open, the post would not slide into the frame. So, like any ape-like male, I pushed harder.

I forgot to remove my finger on my left hand from the bottom of the frame (is there a name for that part of the frame? The seat post tube perhaps? Or seat post sleeve?). Turns out a pipe cutter leaves a nice razor sharp ring around the inside of a seat post, so now I have a really deep crescent moon-shaped cut on the tip of my left index finger. It’s healing up pretty well, but it looks pretty gruesome with a lot of lovely white dead skin, and a couple spots of grease, which make it look almost gangrenous.

I tried to take a picture, but I have a webcam that simply cannot do the wound justice