I know this might not be the most fertile forum for this, but …
I have to give a speech in Manila in front of a crowd of people I’ve
never met, who are from a different culture, and whose level of
English is uncertain. Aaarrggh!!!
The groom is a Brit, but not a unicyclist. I speak no Tagalog. I thought
I might ‘educate’ him on some humorous points of marriage, with a Pinoy
slant if possible, or something like that. Anything for laughs, really.
Any and all advice greatly appreciated. A few culturally
acceptable/comprehensible wedding/marriage jokes…
Alan, it was quite a long time ago and I don’t remember exactly the Tagalog words I said, but I was the best man at my best friend’s wedding and he married a Filipina. I was perhaps less ambitious but I merely pieced together the Tagalog expression for “congratulations on your marriage” and simply ended with that. (I did vet my translation into Tagalog with someone who spoke the language and wasn’t going to be at the wedding.) The bride’s family was stunned and, in fact, the bride’s parents had to translate into English for some of their kids. And somehow despite the fact that it was only 4 or 5 words in their language it seemed to really touch the bride’s family. I expected to have my pronunciation laughed at or something like that but there was instead genuine appreciation.
I think the long and short is the fact that you’re planning on including aspects of the bride’s culture and language into your speech will be recognized and appreciated.
There is apparently a superstition about breaking something accidentally at the reception bringing good luck. I’m not superstitious, but that sounds like a plate juggling opportunity to me …
Speeches of that nature are invariably a fine balancing act between trotting out tired cliches and telling inappropriate jokes.
Here’s a rule I live by.
No joke is inappropriate if you don’t tell it.
And that’s normally part of my introduction when I’m asked to act as MC at a wedding reception.
I normally mention to the parents of the bride that they shouldn’t look at the event as the loss of a daughter, but rather as the gaining of a bathroom.
If I have to mention an open-, capped- or cash bar I’ll intro that pice by mentioning that a wedding reception is a fountain of joy, where people come to drink.
(I didn’t say I completely avoid the tired cliches…)
And just before announcing the people to introduce the various toasts, I’ll ask the groom to reach out his left hand, take his bride’s hand in his and cover hers with his right hand.
I’ll ask him, in the company of family and friends, to treasure that moment as it would be the last time he would ever have…the upper hand.
It’s never failed to get me a laugh and a nicely relaxed crowd.
I’d have to vote for a simply sentence in Tagalog.
I would suggest starting with that or having it very close to the start.
That’ll win them over right at the beginning and it’s very difficult to be nervous whien people are smiling at you.
My mantra for a successful marriage: Happy wife, happy life.
There is such a thing as a honeymoon salad. I MC’d at my sister’s wedding and presented one to the new couple at the reception: Lettuce alone without dressing.
Words spoken in the native language of the listener are always well received. They know you have made an effort to reach them on however small a scale. I continue in my quest to learn to at least say thank you in every language. Learn your Tagalog phrase and use it.
You might already know this but English is widely spoken in the Philippines, especially in Manila - in fact it is also a subject in schools alongside Filipino(Tagalog) so it shouldn’t be a worry. I speak Tagalog and I’d be glad to help if you need translations and such.
I don’t have much to add to all the great advice that’s already been given (but of course that won’t stop me from writing a long post), but I would like to echo the caution of not inadvertently offending them. I mean, look at how easily some of the people here on this forum are offended. Jokes and comedy can easily go the wrong way, especially given the cultural differences. I’m not sure whether you were actually considering the plate juggling idea, but personally, I think you should err on the side of being extra conservative.
A few words in their language at the beginning, plus loads of respect and humility will go a long way. Lighten it with some safe humor, but play it safe. After you charm them with some Tagalog, say how nervous you are and that you hope you don’t put your foot in your mouth because of the cultural differences (ask them if they know what putting your foot in your mouth means – lift your foot up high and say it’s not what it sounds like). Once you connect with them, the rest is smooth sailing (that’s the sincerity portion of your talk). Remember that the groom is not Filipino either – a bit of culture uncertainly will be everywhere that day.
Research the culture (at least go to Wikipedia). But don’t worry too much. You will be accepted graciously. After all, you are the best man. That counts for a lot. And you’ve traveled all the way to Manila. They are going to love you.
Good luck. I work at a software company that has about six Filipinos. I can ask them for some advice on Thursday if you want.
Yes. I’ve had extensive discussions with the bride, and her English is excellent, if imperfect. Not so sure about the ten billion relatives that are coming, though …
No that was a joke. I don’t wish to be sombre though. Thankfully, I have a couple of days to interrogate the family before the wedding. Filipinos love a laugh as much as anyone else, but maybe they laugh at different things. It’s a Catholic do, and I’m not going to touch that subject with a barge pole.
In my experience, a best man who starts with something like “I’m really nervous” turns out to be truly dreadful. I don’t want to do that. It’s a fine line at the best of times. I’m going to have to kill the groom for giving me this opportunity to get stressed.
My current thinking is to introduce the groom to a few humorous aspects of local culture that he might not know. For example, apparently the bride should step on his foot as they approach the altar, so that he will agree to her every whim throughout their marriage…
I’m looking for other similar things with which to tease the groom, if your colleagues have any suggestions.
Most of the younger guests will speak enough English, but perthaps not always enough to understand sophisticated jokes. The older guests will probably speak/understand some English, but will get by with people translating for them as needed. But at a wedding they know what is going to happen in any case, so are unlikely to worry if they miss a few phrases.
Bear in mind that if some of the guests travel from further afield, then they might have one of several other dialects as their usual language, and may have trouble understanding someone from another country speaking Tagalog badly. I would stick largely with English.
