Best kind of unicycle for a zombie apocalypse?

So the benefits of a unicycle during a zombie apocalypse are obvious: the superior effort to speed ratio, the superior maneuverability, the ease of transportation, and of course having hands free to man weapons. The best unicycle would be sturdy enough to withstand off road and large jumps, but what size? A huge Coker would give a speed advantage, but would be useless when fleeing the swarming minions up a fire escape. Any thoughts?

Why rely on conjecture? The answers are here for your perusal in this documentary from several years back.

The Unicycle Bastards Kick Zombie Ass

As you can see the 26" and 29" munis provide the best balance between speed, maneuverability and portability. Also keep in mind that maintaining balance while being subject to a high powered shot gun or rifle is key. Clearly the 26" muni with a 3" knobby is best in all regards. Riding over train tracks? No problem. Industrial junk, fire pits, glass shards? The 26" X 3" just laughs. 12 gauge shotgun blast? The 3" tire will help you absorb that energy without knocking you flat on your ass only to become tasty brainz.
Sure, given a good head start, I’d hit the road on my 36" guni, but once the zombies have infested the neighborhood and it’s hand to hand combat time, I’m sticking with my KH 26" with 3" Duro Leopard.


i agree on the 26, just the best :stuck_out_tongue:

Clearly we need to up the ante, I agree that the 26" gives the best balance of speed to mobility ratio, but if a 3" tire is good, then go 4", tubeless, and make it a kevar casing (Vee Rubber Devist8or):

The Nimbus Oregon Zombie killer!

I’m also thinking of ways you could weaponzie the uni, built in lifts that “boost” you up and over swarms of zombies, also a rear mounted camera so you get a good view for a clean shot, head shot that is :slight_smile:

The “ZUni” of course! Comes complete with flamethrower T-handle, onboard sawed off shotgun, and special super-grip tire for added traction when riding through all the blood and guts! (And of course, the Z-fender which keeps upward splatter to a minimum!) :sunglasses:

I think if you want to know what to put on a ZUni, you should ask the experts, Zombie Tools. Seems like those folks know how to work metal to fight zombies.

Its great to see others on here finally discover the amazing advantage that unicycles provide when you tangle with zombies. Both hands free for weapons operation and reloading.

They really don’t stand a chance, what ever size wheel you ride.
Click, Click, Boom!

P.s. My avatar pic is is post-bite however . . . yup, they finally got me!

Makes sense, I’ve always wondered what your avatar was.

silly zombie brice :stuck_out_tongue:

If only Michael Jackson had been a unicyclist. His famous Thriller video would have been even more of a success!

However, when it comes to the fire escape scenario. I think I’m ditching the unicycle right there and taking my chances with hands and feet. Until unicyclist zombies are spotted, I figure it will still be where I left it, for later retrieval. Maybe with a bite mark or two…