Being An Adult Sucks...

Off-topic
1

Now now, I’m not saying that I am one, but I have to make a very adult decision.

As some of you may know, I really like to cook. It’s my love and my passion, and it’s what I want to do with my life.

My recent accomplishments in the feild of Culinary Arts has raised attention about me throughout the chef community in my city. I got an offer to come in for an interview at Madeline’s which is a 5 star restaraunt in my home town. It is by far the nicest place in Evansville. So today, I came in and had an interview, and to make a long story short, I got the saute’ chef posistion making 9 dollars an hour, to start, with an easy chance at an early raise.

Graham, executive chef, asked if I’d like to stay today and work to see how I felt. I was incharge of the shrimp, scallop, and Asian dumpling apps.; the alaskan stuffed tilapia, and salmon entrees’, along with a lot of the vegi prep work. The only job I’ve ever had that was a cook to order deal was a pizza place. Working in a place like this was completely left feild for me. Needless to say, I did an amazing job and he said he definately thinks he made the right choice calling me.

He is also opening a new restaraunt soon, and he said he wanted to train me as his Sous chef, basically his second hand man. This is a dream job for someone my age, it will be hard and grueling, but the experience I would take out of there is second to none. The prospect of running a kitchen by 18 years old is daunting yet exhilerating at the same time. Not to mention having that on my resume’ for later use.

Soooo what’s my dilema??

If I take this posistion I will be working Tuesday-Saturday From 3-10, and from 3-11 on Friday and Saturday. Being a 17 year old, a 30-40 hour work week is very demanding and prety scary to think about. I will be basically giving up my social life for the time being, I have a girlfriend that I care for very much and it will strain everything. I know a lot of you say I’m only 17 so I shouldn’t worry about situations like that, but to you guys, fuck you, She is the only person that keeps me sain these days. I don’t know if I am ready to jump into something like this, having an adult job is something of a mystery to me.

An opportunity like this does not come around, well, ever really. This is easily one of the best things that has ever come my way, so why is it tearing me up like this?!?! I know that if I don’t take this job I will regret it, at the same time, if I do take it, I feel like it would be to draining and my life would suffer. I know a lot of you will say, “You have your whole life to have free time, take it.” But to my 17 year old self it’s not even close to being that easy.

I don’t really know what kinda responses I wanted from this, but just venting has already made me feel a lot better.

Advice? Something…? I donno.

C’est la vie

Cheers,

Chase Adam Meneely

2

take the job. there is plenty of time for dating when you are settled in.

3

it sounds good . take it, your going to graduate soon then you will have more free time with a good paying job and ahead of every one else in your class as to what direction in life your heading.

4

yes. as much fun as dating might be, it won’t secure you a future with a good job.

5

Ask if you could work less hours to start with then give it a try and if you don’t like it talk to your boss and explain how you feel. I am sure that he or she would understand.

6

Take it. It might be straining on your relationship, but if your girlfriend really loves you that shouldn’t matter. She knows cooking is your passion and this is an amazing opportunity that would hurt you to pass up.

You’re 17, so you have one year left of high school? It might be hard to keep up with school work and have a job like this where you work every day. If you are really sure that you love cooking and that’s what you want to do with your life, it might be a lot easier to drop out and focus on cooking. However, it might come in handy to have that high school diploma. I would suggest taking the easiest courses ever and just try to coast by the rest of your school life.

Good luck to you! My sister’s going away to cullinary school to do the same thing you’re doing. This is an amazing opportunity, take it, don’t be looking back later saying “what if”.

7

It seems like you are in one of those situations were you will regret it either way, and you should make the decision that will be most beneficial.

Now I know how you feel about your girl, and I don’t know exactly how much this will get in your way. If you are very serious about her, and are certain she feels the same way for you, i would save your career for later on in life. But this is only if you are absolutely sure it is going somewhere. (you seem to be serious about it.)

Also, are you sure that this is the profession you want? Because if not then there goes schooling, your girlfriend, and the rest of your teenage life (resulting in a worse future). If you take the job, you have to love it. Your nobodies whore:p

Just consider your gains and losses on both sides and weigh it out to see what’s worth it. Who are we to tell you how to live when we know nothing of your values.

I hope I helped. Good luck!

8

I think you should talk to your girlfriend and see what she thinks you should do, explain to her what this oportunity means to you and how you’ll need her support in it if you’re going to take on this job it’s going to take a lot of your time and leave less for her. Then ask what she thinks you should do. Personally I’d take the job but not everyone is the same, and thinking about it I don’t think I’d really want the job either, it’s a big thing and really daunting, but just go with what you think is best and if your girlfriend is as good as you make her seem she’ll be behind you 100%.

9

Girls should be low on the list. First you need to do whats best for you and you only. Who knows even though you love cooking now that doesnt mean that after you do it 40-60hrs a week for years you will still feel the same about it.BUT it is beter to do it now then later and if it doent work out in say 2-3 yrs your still young enough to prusue a differnt job and make a go at that.

MY 2 CENTS !

10

You’ve already said F.U. to me, but here goes anyway:

I remember when I was 17. I had the opportunity to spend what was basically my entire summer vacation as a paid student of basic design (visual art), at the Walter P. Chrysler building in Detroit (Highland Park, actually). That’s where they used to design the cars. I actually got paid $4.25 an hour to do this, which was well above minimum wage at the time.

The opportunity was about as rare as yours; there were only five spots and 50 applicants, and they didn’t do the program again after that (instead Chrysler Corp. asked the federal government for a billion dollar bail-out loan, which we joked was because we used up too many art supplies).

Fortunately I had no social life to speak of. I didn’t even ride unicycles yet. I did it, and it permanently influenced my career path. I went on to art school, then subsequently dropped out because I got all messed up on unicycling, but that’s another story. I have stayed with the visual arts, off and on, ever since. I learned a lot of valuable stuff there.

Look at the big picture. What will your life be like in a year? A social life (not counting serious relationships) is nice, but doesn’t have much of a lasting impact. A serious relationship, at 17, has way less than a 50/50 chance of lasting a year. This does not mean you don’t love her now of course, and that’s not a bad thing.

The job could set you up for a career doing what you love to do. It would probably open doors for future jobs, and could influence your ability to get into the most exclusive culinary schools. A permanent, lasting effect.

The choice seems obvious to me. If you don’t take this opportunity you will regret it, and may not have a similar opportunity in the near future, or ever.

You can always quit. Hello!

Also you can talk to your gf about this, and instead of asking her to decide, which isn’t really fair to her, instead ask her what she thinks. I think you’ll get a more honest answer that way.

BTW, what sucks about being able to make your own choices? You want someone else to decide for you? :slight_smile:

11

Definatley talk to her and see how she feels about it. I’d say take the job because it sounds totally bad-ass. But don’t sacrifice something so dear for it.
That’s really all I can think of… Hope everything works out soon, man!
And congratulations with your succes at cooking! That’s a HUGE acomplishment.

12

dont’t take the job if it gets in the way of school. school is the most important thing. if you were me this is how i would prioritize:

  1. school
  2. that job
  3. girfriend
13

I think he’s comparing having to make those decisions to not having decisions like that to make (meaning life was simpler until recently).

Like John said… Take the job. Try it out. Express your concerns to your girlfriend and ask her about it. Not necessarily in that order. If you decide that this job is something you really need to do, then ask for her support. You might be surprised. She may tell you to take the job.

Graham could end up taking you under his wing, which could really open doors for you and help you out far into the future (like maybe when you open your own restaurant). I have two friends (they are brothers) that own a restaurant. They are very selective about who they hire and it becomes a family relationship working in such close quarters. A lot of their people work there for years. One left to become a chef. My friends helped him out any way they could. Then the chef came back and created some great soup recipes for the restaurant. The chef is off doing his own thing, but they are all friends in the business and they support each other. Graham could be a great person to know, especially if the relationship develops such that he really shows you the ropes, including the business side of things. He could become a person you could call on for help long after you stopped working there. Or not. Depends on the “chemistry” and how things work out.

It seems like a great opportunity. My point is that it could be an even greater opportunity than you think.

Good luck. Either way, you are rocking and rolling. You have a bright future ahead of you regardless of how this situation works out.

14

I don’t really understand the dilemma… Your scared of having a full time job? and for some reason this means you cant have a girlfriend? Why cant you have both? If your girlfriend is going to bail because you have a job that seems like a joke to me.

15

Could you maybe request less hours? Even if the reply is “no”, I’d still go with the job, I’m sure you could find some time for out of work stuff.

16

i really don’t see a problem with you having a girlfriend. if you don’t have time for her too bad. in order to better your future, the job is the way to go.

17

I remember being at a similar big decision in the early spring of 2007.

I am play the euphonium, a somewhat-obscure brass instrument. I started out my college career as a euphonium and trombone performance major at Shenandoah Conservatory in Virginia. Within my first year there, I made an awesome circle of friends, was relatively close to home, loved the school and campus, and picked up a girlfriend.

Out of wishful thinking, I applied to the University of North Texas (UNT), which has one of if not the best euphonium programs in the country. To my surprise, I was accepted into UNT and the euphonium studio. I had to make a similar choice as yours: follow my career goals, or stick with the familiarity of my friends and girlfriend.

Going to UNT meant moving 1400 miles away from everyone and everything I had come to know. I would be moving into a house with two people I didn’t know in a town I’d never been to.

Ultimately, I decided to go to UNT, as the euph studio admitted only one or two undergrads into the studio each year, from all across the country. My girlfriend supported my decision, and although we both were very saddened by it, we both knew it was the right decision. Based on what we had both heard about long distance relationships, we figured that our relationship would probably end when, or soon after, I went to Texas, especially considering she was from Connecticut and I from Pennsylvania. One year and seven months later, we are still together and show no signs of breaking up :smiley: :smiley: We have visits for about a week at a time, 5-6 times per year. Aside from that, we keep in touch on the phone 3-5 times per week.

If I had to make the same choice again, knowing I would break up with my girlfriend, I would still have chosen to go to UNT.

Moral of my story: Follow your long-term goals. Take the job. If your relationship doesn’t weather the storm, then it wasn’t very strong in the first place.

Remember, things tend to unfold as they should: it’s up to you to seize the opportunities given to you.

18

Personally, I dislike working

But this is about you, not me. I will assume you are really into the cooking thing.

Then you have to take the job. For some strange reason, woman seem to prefer employed men. Trust me, she will likely forgive you.

The restaurant biz is very flexible. If they really like you, they will not fire you just because you can only work a couple days a week. Start on their schedule,
then negotiate your own schedule after a few weeks. If they insist you must work too many days, ask for an unreasonable amount of money. They must pay big, or give you the days you want. If they don’t, then pedal away.:slight_smile:

19

take the emploment. I worked 6 days a week 12 hour days for a period of three months. It was hard but i got brilliant experience and not to mention lots of money. My friends and girlfriend where still there when i returned home.
although girlfriend is now gone.

20

Take it.

I havent read what others have said, so this may have already been said.

But even with a 40hr work week, youll have plenty of time for your girl and other things, even if it gets tight, or some things get put off longer than usual.

I have plenty of friends with 40hr/wk schedules, two of them are married already, other have girlfriends, others uni, and we all find the time to hang out, go to dinners, go unicycling, and do everything. One of the friends of mine that is married, I dont get to see much, maybe once a month now, but it really isnt all too bad. Kinda weird cause he used to stay at my house for weeks at a time and wed be hanging out 24/7.

For your girl though, im sure this has been said, but explain the situation to her. Im sure if you two like eachother as much as it seems, the amount of time not seeing each other will not ruin your relationship. But because of the missed time, start to do more special things more often. Not special as in sex, but I know theres going to be plenty of times when you two see eachother, and youll just want to sit and hangout and watch a movie and relax, but I know shell be wanting to go out for a nice dinner and all those other romantic dates. Just be sure to show her you still care. Relaxing at home isnt too bad sometimes though, as long as its fun.