BBBR

While the heroes of British unicycling were slogging their way round the Red
Bull course on their Cokers, Jamie Fletcher and I did Bristol’s Biggest Bike
Ride on ours -
http://www.bristol-city.gov.uk/cgi-bin/w3index-frames.pl?DMM0005+BG

We were accompanied by Richard Loxley on his 2-wheeled support vehicle.

There was a choice of 4 routes, 9, 13, 18 or 38 miles. We chose the 13 mile
Avon Gorge Loop. After riding to the start, then riding home at the end,
total distance covered was a little under 32 miles. We walked about a mile
of that towards the end, when our nether regions were suffering.

We met at Richard’s house at 09:00, leaving about 15 minutes later. The 8
mile ride to the start took about an hour, getting us to @Bristol in plenty
of time for the 10:30 start. We started a little later anyway, to give the
pack time to thin out before we started weaving our way through.

The ride took us 6 miles along the Portway, where we seemed to be the only
people equipped with tools to help a young cyclist whose chain had got stuck
between sprocket and chainstay. We then crossed the river, rode through
Pill and back through Leigh Woods, where the route followed a few miles of
singletrack. This was difficult given that most of the cyclists were riding
slower than we wanted to ride. With the enforced low cadence, my knee
started to ache a couple of miles from the end.

Richard had some problems with a couple who were each towing trailerbikes
and insisting on riding 2 abreast whenever the path was wide enough. They
were unwilling to let anyone past. You know the type - it’s not a race,
this is the pace I’ve chosen, sod anyone else whose comfortable pace happens
to be a little faster.

We arrived at the finish at about 12:30, after what was generally a very
pleasant ride. During the ride a few people exclaimed “Oh my God!”, giving
me the opportunity to reply “Someone called?” And with two of us on Cokers,
we were always able to respond to “Where’s your other wheel?” with “He’s got
it”.

The ride home was marred when a passenger in a boy racer car tried to push
Jamie off and succeeded in pushing me off. I landed on my feet, caught the
Coker and took his number. There were plenty of witnesses. We drafted a
statement as soon as we got home and will be reporting it to the police.
(Actually I’ve already tried to report it to the police, and was a little
shocked that they refused to take any details over the phone. That means I’
ll have to go 10 miles out of my way one evening this week to visit the
police station).

I wasn’t sure how much water to take for a 32 mile Coker ride. I started
with a full 100oz Camelbak bladder, 1 litre of Isostar in a Platypus and a
can of Red Bull. I drank the Isostar between about 10-13 miles and the
water ran out after about 26 miles. Thankfully Richard had spare water in
his pannier. I didn’t drink the Red Bull.


Danny Colyer (remove safety to reply) ( http://www.juggler.net/danny )
Recumbent cycle page: http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/recumbents/
“I don’t think proofreading is adequate. All posts should be waxed and
buffed. Then they should wear little tuxedos.” - Greg Harper on usenet

Danny, Nice report on your ride! Might I suggest a little cyclo-activist response that I’ve found to be satisfying… even if quasi-legal/moral/… carry a raw egg or two in a little bag… they’re quite difficult to clean off of a car… especially after lots of hot back-country miles. It may just give “boy racer” something to think about the next time he feels superior because he’s got petroleum power…

RE: BBBR

> total distance covered was a little under 32 miles.

Congrats on a big ride!

> and insisting on riding 2 abreast whenever the path was wide enough. They
> were unwilling to let anyone past. You know the type - it’s not a race,
> this is the pace I’ve chosen, sod anyone else whose comfortable
> pace happens to be a little faster.

That works both ways. I wouldn’t do this in a car, but I think you’re
reasonably safe with a couple of trailer bikers. Get in front of them (if
possible), and then ride side by side at a nice, comfortable pace for an
average unicyclist. See how they like it. Shame on them for being so rude in
a large group bike ride!

> The ride home was marred when a passenger in a
> boy racer car tried to push Jamie off and
> succeeded in pushing me off.

What kind of car is that? Just something obviously driven by a speed-minded
young male, or is it a certain make/model? Shame on them also, of course. I
hope you get 'em.

JF

Re: BBBR

John Foss wondered:
> What kind of car is that? Just something obviously driven by a
speed-minded
> young male, or is it a certain make/model? Shame on them also, of course.
I
> hope you get 'em.

The term “boy racer” refers to a certain type of motorist, typically aged
late teens or early twenties, but may be any age. He has a vastly
overinflated opinion of his driving ability and typically thinks it
appropriate to drive at twice the speed limit in built up areas. His car is
his way of expressing himself, and always shows him to be a pratt.

He will drive the biggest, fastest penis extension that he can afford. For
the 17 year olds this is likely to be a clapped out Ford Fiesta. For the
slightly older boy racer, it will be something a bit flasher.

Without exception, the cars are retrofitted with grossly oversized exhaust
pipes, extra spoilers and the brightest fog lights available to dazzle
anyone they can on a clear night.

I don’t know what sort of car this particular one was. Cars all look pretty
much the same to me. But I know the colour and registration.


Danny Colyer (remove safety to reply) ( http://www.juggler.net/danny )
Recumbent cycle page: http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/recumbents/
“I don’t think proofreading is adequate. All posts should be waxed and
buffed. Then they should wear little tuxedos.” - Greg Harper on usenet

Re: BBBR

I wrote about boy racers:
> He will drive the biggest, fastest penis extension that he can afford.

I’ve just realised why these guys felt the need to push Jamie and me off.

The driver of said penis extension must have felt rather threatened when he
realised that there are real men out there who only need one wheel :slight_smile:


Danny Colyer (remove safety to reply) ( http://www.juggler.net/danny )
Recumbent cycle page: http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/recumbents/
“I don’t think proofreading is adequate. All posts should be waxed and
buffed. Then they should wear little tuxedos.” - Greg Harper on usenet

RE: BBBR

> He will drive the biggest, fastest penis extension that he
> can afford.

I’m sure we all know the type! When I was in high school it was old Camaros
and other muscle-type cars. Now, in CA, it’s more commonly smaller Japanese
cars, for which there are lots of add-on parts. But you mustn’t judge the
driver by the car, because some owners of these cars just like fixing them
up. The bad ones are easy to spot, when they’re “being themselves.”

> I’ve just realised why these guys felt the need to push Jamie
> and me off.
> The driver of said penis extension must have felt rather
> threatened when he realised that there are real men out there
> who only need one wheel :slight_smile:

I have made similar observations over the years, except for the part about
them “realizing” anything. I believe this stuff happens on a subconcious
level. So, just as a dog may jump on you, or chew on a shoe, or eat his own
vomit, and not know why, I’ve seen these guys squeal their tires, rev their
engines, or otherwise display their ability to press car pedals/show penis
size. They don’t know why either.

JF