Are you seeking new and strange pleasure?

[MuniOrBust]

I bought this China made unicycle on ebay last month and it came with an interesting information sheet.

I found some parts entertaining, so I transcribed it for you all (I removed the strange hyphen placements for readability):

Product Introduction and Instructions:

Originated from acrobatics,unicycling is a newly-developed sports event.It is a combination of venturing,skill,beauty,thrilling,and therefore,holds great attraction towards today’s youths who seek new and strange pleasure.
It is beneficial to build up one’s body,to develop one’s intellectual power, to enhance one’s sense of appreciating beauty and the entertain oneself.It is of unique grace, taste,advantage and temperate and therefore if gaining worldwide popularity and development

Functions:

1. Unicycling can enrich one’s sparetime cultural life and cultivate the ability to create and to forward boldly.It is also helpful to strengthen one’s confidence to challenge difficulties and to overcome them.
2. Unicycling can rapidly increase one’s sense of balance, effectively promote the growth of cerbellun and therefore improve one’s intelletual power. So the medical circle calls it intelligence-oriented exercise.
3. Unicycling can promote the coordination and interaction of muscles and reins,strengthen the toughness and suppleness of ligament tissures.So the medical circle calls it gymnastic and body-building exercise.
4. Unicycling can create an effect of psychological pleasure, strongly stimulate the regular movement of nerves, and so mould one’s temperamnt and stregthen both one’s body and one’s mind.
5. The populariztion of unicycling can provide relaxation for all youths, a positive and healthy means of entertainment and body-building and,at the same time, develop a new arena for primary and high school students after the Burden-Easing Policy.

Characteristics:

1. This product is easy to learn, and suit for both young and old people.One can master it in only one week.
2. An even ground of just several square meters is enough for practising it.
3. This is a safe sport.One won’t fall even if the unicycle falls.
4. This product is fairly cheap,and fit for popular body-building.
5. Unicycling has been listed as a national sports event by All-China Sports Federation. The Unicycling Championship will be held once every year nationally,and once every two years internationally.
6. Besides for competition,body-building, it may also be performed for show as a special even before any public gathering.

Precautions:

1. To practise it in accordance with the rules, one must wear a helmet and a pair of knee pads and gloves.
2. Be sure to do some proparing activities before practice, so that every joint in your body is in good state.
3. Check its conditions before practising. One should, if necessary, rearrange the height and directions of the saddle, and twist hard the fixed screws in the saddle so as to get it suit for you.
4. Find a practising ground which is as even as possible.

You might also notice in the image that the saddle is labeled “bicycle saddle”. Huh?

[Phil_on_uni]

dude… i wish they described the function of items in America like they do in china…

Damn

[Adder172]

3. This is a safe sport.One won’t fall even if the unicycle falls.

maybe the should look into that…

[Into_the_blue]

@Chinese instructions

This product is easy to learn

And this bit too.

I once had a Zippo knock-off with similar instructions.
My lighter flame would ‘fight against the wind with you car window open’.

[Mikefule]

Is that too much for a printed T shirt?

[MuniOrBust]

@Mikefule

Is that too much for a printed T shirt?

Perhaps just:

[dudewithasock]

@MuniOrBust

Perhaps just:

Hahahahaha, I would sooo wear that.

[Into_the_blue]

There’s a website I sometimes visit called www.engrish.com that highlight translation goofs.

Their t-shirts are killer.

[Mikefule]

From a Kawasaki motorbike manual (allegedly): “To go fast the engine, turn hard the throttle gripe.”

[hobo_chuck]

Axle sleeve?