Are you a clown?

General
1

> My question is, has anyone managed to effectively use a lasso while on a
> unicycle?

No, but I’m working on it. Actually, my interest is more in rope spinning tricks
then catching small thieves. Throwing is easier than spinning, since the rope
stays at head height or above and doesn’t get wound round pedals and wheel.

The great roper Will Rogers learned to unicycle after a troupe of trick
cyclists added roping to their act. Within a few days he was a better
unicyclist than the opposition. So it is possible, if you’re as good as Will
Rogers, anyway. I believe he could Texas Skip (i.e. jump through a vertical
loop) on his uni. I can’t even bunny hop or Texas Skip, though I’m trying both.
Not at the same time.

Peter Lister Email: p.lister@cranfield.ac.uk Computer Centre, Cranfield
University Voice: +44 1234 754200 ext 2828 Cranfield, Bedfordshire MK43 0AL UK
Fax: +44 1234 751814 – Never blame rational thought for anything explainable by
stupidity –

2

While I await impatiently the arrival of rec.sport.unicycling to my local host,
(What was the final results of the vote, anyway? I haven’t seen it yet in
news.groups), I appeal to the group to a solution to another unicycling problem.

We have discussed, at length, the correct responses to “Where’s you other
wheel?”, “You’ve lost a wheel!” and “Can’t you afford the rest of the bike?” I
am still practising these responses - I am still not firing back a cutting reply
as rapidly as I should be.

The question we haven’t discussed is one I hear a lot: “Are you a clown?” Mere
text does not allow me to put the full emotion and emphasis into that question.
It must be made in a credulous, drawn-out bleat from a six-year old with eyes
opened wide to give the full impact.

I have tried various responses: “No”, “Yes”, “No. Are you?”, “No, I just play
one on TV.” However, I am not happy with any of them.

Do anyone have a snappy answer to this question?

Julian

p.s. A juggling club dropped out of my backpack on the weekend while I was
unicycling with friends. I persuaded a boy (about 8 years old), who was
watching, to pick it up for me. Rather than give it to me though, he ducked
away and ran around and around waving it with glee. The attempts of three
of us on unicycles, and two people on in-line skates to catch him were in
vain (he was ducking and weaving faster than we could.)

My question is, has anyone managed to effectively use a lasso while on a
unicycle?

3

Re: Are you a clown?

In message <9506062328.AA00410@uqcspe.cs.uq.oz.au> Julian Orbach writes:

> While I await impatiently the arrival of rec.sport.unicycling to my local
> host, (What was the final results of the vote, anyway? I haven’t seen it yet
> in news.groups), I appeal to the group to a solution to another unicycling
> problem.

The group should be created by now. I’m a little worried, I should have gotten
it a long time ago… :frowning: I’m supposed to get all groups (over 12000 now!) and
I’m usually among the first. Oh, well.

> of the bike?" I am still practising these responses - I am still not firing
> back a cutting reply as rapidly as I should be.

Go for the Eco-Earth response. “I can’t believe you are wasting those valuable
Mother Earth resources on a second wheel when one is good enough for any man!”

> The question we haven’t discussed is one I hear a lot: “Are you a clown?” Mere
> text does not allow me to put the full emotion and
[snip]
> Does anyone have a snappy answer to this question?

“Are you white with black stripes or black with white stripes?”

(Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

“Only when I want to be.” “Only on Thursdays.” “No, but its my day off.” “Isn’t
everybody?” “Put a little birdhouse in your soul.” “No, I’m a mono-cyclic
population entertainment specialist.” “Clown? Where?” (Jump off uni and look
around worried) “No, I don’t do politics.” “You mean the paint still shows?” “I
may look foolish, but you’re stupid, and at least I can dismount.” “Are you an
astronaut?” “No. I’m more into leather, really.” “No, I don’t do politics.” (I
liked that one) “At least I’m not a MIME!!!”

> who was watching, to pick it up for me. Rather than give it to me though, he
> ducked away and ran around and around waving it with glee. The attempts of
> three of us on unicycles, and two people on in-line skates to catch him were
> in vain (he was ducking and weaving faster than we could.)

Reminds me of something that happened a while ago:

If anybody on a bike ever challanges you to ‘chicken,’ accept. There is no way
a bicycle will out-manuveur a unicycle, especially if the bike’s piloted by a
kid stupid enough to think he can turn tighter than a unicycle, because he’s
got handlebars to steer with.

Anybody want to sponser an International Scrambled .Sig day?

–
__ / ____ Jimmy Brokaw -> jimmy@juggler.demon.co.uk ________\ Also at ->
unicycle@juggler.demon.co.uk || || <- My Absolute Balls Red Unicycle || <-
Also known as really bad art

4

Re: Are you a clown?

>> While I await impatiently the arrival of rec.sport.unicycling to my local
>> host, (What was the final results of the vote, anyway? I haven’t seen it yet
>> in news.groups), I appeal to the group to a solution to another unicycling
>> problem.

>The group should be created by now. I’m a little worried, I should have gotten
>it a long time ago… I’m supposed to get all groups (over 12000 now!) and
>I’m usually among the first. Oh, well.

The final result of the rec.sport.unicycling was 192 yes, 21 no, and 5
abstentions. It was created 6 June 1995.

If you don’t have access to rec.sport.unicycling by now, ask your news
administrator to check into it. Most sites automatically get and send all new
newsgroups in the major domains they want, such as rec.*, but some sites must
explicitly turn on a new newsgroup, before users at that site can read from and
post to it.

Check out the global fun on rec.sport.unicycling. I expect we will be seeing a
lot of unicyclists there, that never heard of the unicycling mailing list, but
stumbled onto rec.sport.unicycling somewhere along on its global trek between
Australia, Asia, Europe, Africa, North and South America. Of course many
unicycling mailing list regulars will be there as well.

We hope to connect rec.sport.unicycling and the unicycling mailing list with a
bi-directional link soon. Until then, they will be operating separately, but
you’re invited to use both, if you’re able.

Stay on Top, of unicycling news,

Ken Fuchs <kfuchs@winternet.com