this might spark some controversy, but ive compiled a list of activities that are in fact not sports:
first of all, a sport must be athletic (aerobic excercise). this rules out:
fishing
racecar driving
golf
luge
bobsled
curling
pool
dart throwing
next, the winner of a sport must not be determined by judges. this completely skews the whole thing. it is far too easy to cheat, or have biased judges, or anything of that sort. judges are just not definitive and consistent enough. you can’t argue whether a ball goes through a hoop, or whether a person crosses a line. but if they are being graded on a scale from 1-10 on how graceful a random person on a given day thinks they are, then that is not a sport. this rules out:
ice skating
gymnastics (all)
skateboarding
diving
pretty much all the x games sports that are not timed events. (skateboarding, motocross jumping, that sorta judged thing).
trampolining (once an olympic event).
third, a sport must not simply be one continuous action. it must include more thinking than just “i got to beat this guy to the finish line”. there must be more than just “i must go fast”. there must be some mental skill involved. i know a million people will say that there is a lot of skill in running, but im sorry, im adding it to the list:
cross country
running (any distance).
fourth, the participant must do more work than the animal companion they compete with. this rules out:
equestrian
horse racing
fifth, there must be two sides on a sport. alas, as fun as muni is, it remains an athletic aerobic activity involving balance and guts, but it is not a sport:
muni
gymnastics (this could also go under judging, if there is for some reason, heaven forbid, a gymnastics competition).
rock climbing
sixth, a sport must be fair on both sides. this rules out:
hunting (perhaps if it was you against a bear, and you were armed only with a nail file, that would be considered “fair”)
seventh, an activity in which participants get better as they get more and more drunk is not a sport:
bowling
eight, the sport must not allow its participants to use steroids. additionally, you must be able to watch an entire game on t.v. without wanting to shove a fork in your eye because you are so bored. furthermore, the greatest player in the game’s history must not be a 300 lb fat man with zero athleticism who stayed up late drinking and partying.
baseball
ninth, the sport must be real. the participants may not be body building actors who wear spandex and hit each other with metal chairs.
wrestling (the kind you see on t.v.)
tenth, just because you have more muscle mass than you know what to do with, so you decide to have competitions involving rolling cars to finish lines and lifting bolders above your head weighing 400 lbs, doesn’t make it a sport:
strong man competition
eleven, just because you do it outdoors, does not make it a sport.
the outdoor games (lumberjack kind of stuff, chopping down trees, etc)
twelve, just because it is shown on espn, doesn’t make it a sport:
professional jump roping
poker
spelling bees
thirteen, if you can practice your sport with your livestock, then it is not a sport (as did the winner of the greco roman wrestling competition in the 2000 olympics):
greco roman wrestling
thank you for your time, you’ve been a wonderful audience. please feel free to express your anger with my opinions; i look forward to getting eaten up for breakfast by 300 people from this forum. im looking forward to this.
-grant