Antique man freemounts giraffe

I’ll be 50 in 6 months and today I freemounted a 6 foot giraffe…over and over and over again. Then I got tired and failed over and over and over again, but what the hey. I also necessarily learned to ride it backwards and idle either foot down. What a gas. I think I tried to climb it 30 times or so before I successfully mounted the first time. I lowered the seat about an inch to avoid snagging the seat as I climbed onto it from behind. Too graphic? Then I had about a 50% success rate until I started to run out of gas.

Now I feel like a roving hoard of Vandals pushed me down on the pavement and beat me with pool cues. When I bought the tall fellow from Jeff Lutkus it was in perfect shape. It looks used, now.

Another thing I discovered was that the Sem seat, with its loose lips around the seat frame, can be anchored quite nicely with a worn out athletic sock pulled over the back of the seat. The excess can be tucked under. It makes a good surface for sliding onto the seat from behind and holds the cover in place.

Congratulations! I’m not worthy.



Congrats! It is cool that a long-time rider such as yourself can still have goals, and that you can meet them and have fun!

Good job!


Starting out today (President’s Day, US holiday…not prime minister’s day as in UK and Canada) I had 10 straight failures and then took off. Then I FELL off about a half mile later. Ten more failures. Then I finished my 2 mile ride and started mounting with 50% success. I will rule that camelopard.

Can anyone tell me what LOL means? I had guessed “lots of luck” but in context it seems to be used differently.

LOL means “laughing out loud”.

ROFL means “rolling on floor laughing”.

ROFLMFAO should then be obvious.




Re: Antique man freemounts giraffe

One might, at first, take issue with this statement: The Vandals hay-day was around 300 CE- at which time some veriation on Billiards or Snooker was document by Anarcharsis in Ancient Greece. Most likely, this was simmilar to the game practiced by the contemporary Catkire Ore, an Irish King, which was reputed to use both cues and ‘pools’ of the same material.

Surely, then, we must allow that Harper was, in fact, not
beaten with pool cues from this time period- for they would have broken after the first swing, and he would have rightly then used the word struck. It would not be untword then, for me to assume that the term ‘pool cues’ was used pointedly to indicate the equipement used my modern practitioners- finely balanced shafts of inlaid wood, an attractive choice for an unsurrly pack of Vandals out to unleash a little pain on the rider of a device- although unsean in their time- that clearly marks the operator as a member of that most despised class, hated before the very fall of Rome: clowns.

Now, a few of you intelectual light-weights might be chomping at the bit, ready to point out some trivial bit of anachranistic foolishness. This, however, is nothing more than a single pea pod beneath the fluff of your ‘so called’ higher education when compaired to the enormity of the prime concern: a halved centurian mounting, unassisted, and REPEATEDLY ridding a Giraffe across the veldt of Seattle.

Really, Mr. Harper- such claims are quite extraordinary.

Good day,

Christopher R. LeFay