An unpleasant experience(Discussion regarding the seriousness of swearing)

Off-topic
1

There is something that has been on my mind quite a bit the past day and most of yesterday and I thought I would share it with you:

So as some of you know, Panther Pride Unicycle Team (my team) hosted a little clinic for riders around Washington yesterday. Me, along with Steve Decoukouc(spelling?) and Isaiah were in charge of the trials course we had set up. We had some music playing from Steve’s Ipod, some of it had an occasional swear word, but it really wasn’t much. After awhile, I plugged my mp3 player in, and played a playlist which was similar to Steve’s when it came to the amount of swearing. I made sure that it didn’t have anything morally bad or anything, having respect that there were little children around. Just a swear word here and there.

Awhile later, my coach, Alan Tepper, came and asked that we no longer play that music. I was a bit upset, but it wasn’t to big a deal for me. We stopped playing any music with any cussing in it.

Around an hour or two after that, when the trials course had very few riders in the area, I decided to play “It’s Tricky” by Run DMC, a song with absolutely no swearing. As soon as the song started playing, a concerned(understatement) mom rushed over to me and began yelling at me. She let out something along the lines of: “Excuse me! TOTALLY inappropriate! There are little children here! It’s NOT OK playing profanities around little children! I’m the one that complained earlier.” Though I was quite shocked and offended, I did my best to reply politely and appologized for the past profanities, while assuring this lady that the song, although it was rap, was completely profanity free. She replied “So what did I just hear?”. This made me quite confused and I assured her I had no idea what she was talking about.

A little while later I think one of her friends complained about a rap song that was equally clean, though that was less memorable.

I think that most people would simply shrug it off and just kinda go with it. But for some reason, I really can’t get this little episode out of my head. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this really, and I just can’t understand why swearing is so looked down upon? Honestly now, what is going to happen if some little kid hears the word fuck or shit every now and then? Will those words come out from the speaker and strangle him? Now I would understand if the words were in any way violent or anything. But no. Just harmless swear words, not meant to offend anyone. What will happen if they hear it? Will their quality of life be any worse? Even if they start saying it too, I don’t see why even saying fuck you is any worse than saying you’re stupid. I would be more offended if someone called me stupid personally.

This little thing, has actually depressed me and offended me quite a bit. How could society become so ignorant? The thing that I find most depressing, is that she assumed that she was doing a good thing. No, she ruined it for everyone. Cover your child’s ears if you’re so concerned, but don’t inflict your beliefs on others. But really, I don’t think she should even treat her child like that. That’s encouraging ignorance, trying to hide that there are people out there that say notty words here and there. What’s wrong with hearing these things? She can even tell her kids not to say those words, but not to hear them? that’s a bit extreme.

Now my parent’s come from a society that really does not take swearing seriously (israel). Though I’ve spent the majority of my life in the US, I spent the first 6 or so years of my life in Israel, and i would at that age utter the word “shit” and nobody would look at me funny. That’s the way I think it should be.

But really, I find it depressing how society takes things like this so seriously when it really does no harm.

2

America is just weird.
Rap music is evil and those bad words are going to turn my kids into crack-heads.

3

I don’t understand what she found wrong with that song though.

I mean… RUN DMC might have said nigga in a FEW songs but the only other thing they ever said was God damn.

4

Dude, the first verse is pretty offensive.

“I met this little girly, her hair was kind curly, I went to her house and bust her out I had to leave her early. These girls is kind of sleazy, all they say is please me” etc etc…

Not offensive to me, but I would think twice about playing it around kids who’s mothers have already complained once.

5

North Americain culture is pureticanical. I got a detention for say “bloody hell” in sixth grade. I think this is due to the high level of christian believers who are much more morally superior…

It’s interesting to note that most pornography is made in the U.S. It also has really high child pregnancy for a first world country. Talking about sex, swear words, etc is vital education. Either way, your child will learn about it. Siblings, peers, strangers, etc. Trying to shield your virgin child leads to them losing their virginity at a very young age (rebellion) - and messing up the condom because you taught ABSTINENCE! Yay for another baby (and no abortion, THAT’S MURDER :astonished: ). LOL, this is ridiculous.

I say laugh it off. The poor bitch will have a handful when her child is older.

6

Learn from it.
When dealing with a group of desperately different people, the lowest common denominator approach is normally a good way to go.

When you’re riding with your friends, bust your tunes (is that what the hip kids are saying nowadays?)
When you’re hosting a riding clinic for the public, break out the Sound of Music soundtrack.

Don’t let it bug you.

And thanx for working to grow the sport.

7

It’s always the less commonly used ones that are more offensive, because people use most swear words so much they lose their meanings.

8

I live in Scotland, so every sentence I hear contains either the word ct or fk - but usually both. Doubt you would have had much problem with music playing here :wink:

(Depends how young the kids are though I suppose.)

9

What other people think? You did well to share.

Extrapolate. What you’ve been through is one example of how the conservative world works. I do not say conservative in a negative way. Change frightens people and so it is much more simple to do what has always been done.

You did nothing wrong. Events are inexplicable. Remember what Lao Zsu said" Nature is all it can be at any one time." Nothing is solid, everything is fluid. Everything is in flux: there is only now, and a minute from now everything will be different.
You are confused and with good reason. We live in a continuous state of chaos, as much as our left brain tries to bring order to it.

Impossible.

There can be no ordering chaos. Hence, the conservative mind which imposes artificial order on a system which is inherently irrational will be endlessly uneasy. Go with your gut instinct and don’t think so much.
With best regards from the right coast of Canada, where it is sunny today and the tide is high.
william

10

The problem is… the child is a person too, and he’s one of the people we’ll all have to deal with in 20 years. His mom will not matter then, it is him who will matter. If the mom was the only one to lose from this, I really wouldn’t mind.

11

Societal evolution take awhile. Compare the US now to what it was in the 50’s. It’s MUCH less puritanical now. It will get better. In the meantime you have to play by it’s rules - which sucks - but ya do. The people I perform with call it going into “family channel” mode. I have to be on “family channel” every show I do and even was for most of Moab so I didn’t offend people I didn’t know. It’s just a fact of life, but it will get better.

12

Whether the mom was right or not is irrelevant. She has the right to raise her child the way she sees fit, save for abuse, which is not the case at all. Because you were hosting a PUBLIC event, and she was part of the PUBLIC, you are charged with catering to the PUBLIC’s wants, in this case, hers.

She wasn’t forcing her beliefs on you. You can listen to whatever music you want on your own time. What she was doing was preventing YOU from forcing YOUR choice of music on her son, in a public place. Regardless of whether hearing swear words will damage her son is irrelevant. She has the parental authority to make such requests, especially in a public place intended for youth.

In 20 years, there’s a good chance she’ll still be alive and (hopefully) voting. She’ll still matter as far as I’m concerned.

She ruined the whole event because you and your friends couldn’t listen to your mildly offensive music? If that ruined the whole event, I think you need to set your priorities on unicycling, not the music being played. Also, how do you know ‘everyone’ wanted to listen to your music? Maybe there were others that found it distasteful, but tolerated it? I for one, would have been one of them. I am not a fan of rap music, but I don’t find it offense and thus, tolerate it.

Maybe you should have put on a some nice Christian rap music, there are plenty of “Christian rap artists.” :stuck_out_tongue:

You’re 16. She’s a MOTHER. That means you yield to her wishes regarding HER son. She wasn’t out of line in her requests, and it’s not up for debate.

I’ve always been taught to be independent, but also to RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. I feel like whether you are a juvenile or legally an adult, this still holds true.

All that being said, she sounds a little too overprotective and a little silly, IMO.

13

I really don’t care that much about the music that was played. I was more shocked about her feeling that it was necessary to censor the whole world for her child’s ears. I honestly wouldn’t mind if they simply said they didn’t like the music.

Also, rap wasn’t the only genre played during the mild-swearing period.

Edit: The whole thing about covering your child’s ears was meant as I don’t think it was considerate of her to make everyone else change what they were doing just for her beliefs, that not necessarily everyone agrees with. I completely understand that she had good intentions, and I respect that. The main problem, I think, is that people assume they are doing good by doing things like that. Though I fully appreciate their efforts for doing good, I find that that thinking is flawed, ignorant, and hysteric. That’s the problem.

14

I’m a mother. My son is 9. I don’t want hime to swear and I don’t like to listen to swearing myself.

If we were having a debate in real time I would ask you what the point in swearing is and wait for your answer.

IMHO swear words are supposed to be offensive. That’s what they’re for. For expressing hate and anger. A lot of them are graphically sexual. Why would any mother want her son to listen to hate, anger and graphically sexual words? Surely it’s much easier not to swear.

A lot of the rap songs that I have heard (although I admit this is limited) are mysogenistic and disrespectful of women. I would definately not want my son to listen to his rock heros pouring out that stuff.

Now i know my son hears swearing on the street. I wouldn’t attack someone for swearing in front of him. I know that he will swear with his friends soon, because that’s what kids do in thier little rebellion. I trust him not to swear in front of me, if he does he will be punished. I would not expect to hear hate songs with swearing in them where we have gone to have fun and relax in a family atmosphere.

15

Yeah.…

16

I was at one of these clinics a few years ago. It was held at Mt. Si High School (same as NAUCC 1999 and Unicon 11). The venue matters a lot. Public school vs. your back yard? Different rules. Also Panther Pride started out as an elementary school club. I think it’s grown beyond that, but it’s still a school-based activity.

17

IMHO they are for that, and for simply expressing yourself at times of all extremity regardless of whether or not hate or anger has anything to do with it.

I think that the mother had the right to ask you to turn the music (though I wouldn’t if I had kids) down or switch the song, but she should not have used such an offensive tone. She could have asked you nicely, or just realized that everyone will be exposed to these words at some point in their life, whether or not they chose to use them is up to them.

Having said this I know there is the distinct possibility of my opinions changing once I actually am a father.

Also, how the hell could she make out the words to “It’s Tricky”. The only word I can make out in the verse is ‘Girlie’.

19

I made sure that what I used did not have that kind of lyrics. Again, the music I used was nonviolent and nondisrespectful to anyone. I don’t know if you have heard any of the songs by Sweatshop Union, but that is what was playing when I heard the first complaint. A few swears here and there, but nothing immoral from what i recall of there lyrics.

20

The door does swing both ways. Personally, I think this is an offensive over-generalization of rap. Hence, the conflict. He has already said that the rap and other music he was playing wasn’t that kind of rap, and that it only swore now and then. Someone complained, and he stopped playing music with swearing. (this was good, there shouldn’t be swearing in a family atmosphere) He did keep playing rap - not the offensive kind - and the lady complained again. (this was wrong and close minded) The song DOESN’T have swearing, but she assumed it did because of her bias against all rap. She was within her rights to have him stop having music with swearing, but she crossed the line when she assumed that all rap had swearing and was bad. The song he was playing is a song about NOT doing drugs and NOT being promiscious. She complained anyway without even listening to the lyrics. Similar to you insinuating that the music that he was playing were “hate songs” because he said it was rap.

This is where there is conflict. The “youth” swear, it’s a fact. But, even when they don’t swear the “adults” still harp on them and tell them their music is bad. It’s a very close-minded and un-adult way to act. It reminds me of people hating rock music, the beatles, and elvis in the 50’s. Some rap has bad content, just like some rock, some country, some blues, etc. Not ALL rap, and not what he was playing.

If I were at an event and they were playing country music, I wouldn’t complain despite my distaste for it. Likewise, this lady shouldn’t have complained just because she doesn’t like rap. If the music doesn’t have offensive content, don’t complain.

21

Yes, you are right.

But it is often very difficult to understand what is being said in these songs and if it sounded very like the previous songs to someone as ignorant as myself (but without the swearing) how long do you expect someone to struggle to interpret the lyrics before deciding it was the same? How would you like us to make that decision? Especially, as there was swearing in it ONLY NOW AND THEN (well that’s all right then, why should anyone complain).

And I didn’t insinuate, I said it very cautiously because I’m sure they are not all the same. Sounds like you’re being just a tad defensive.