Tomorrow my middle son will turn 8 years old. My in-laws, who are not the paragon of good taste (as will be revealed momentarily–actually, with these next few words) bought him a “spinner” for his unicycle wheel. I didn’t know such a thing existed. I had seen them on pimped-out cars, but I had never seen a bicycle/unicycle version.
For those who don’t know, a spinner is a plastic piece of crap painted to look chrome which fits inside the wheel and “spins.”
My eight year old thinks it is cool, as do my in-laws apparently (or maybe it was just cheap). My nine year old, on the other hand, who truly understands “cool” said, “You’re really going to put that thing on your unicycle?!”
Now I am left with a dilemma. How do I explain to my 8 year old that I would rather him pierce and tatoo his buttcrack than put this spinner on his unicycle?
Jethro
(Did I mention that this spinner has no less than 30 different pieces and there is not enough beer in the world to make the assembly instructions intelligible?)
my roommate (who’s 24) bought one because it’d be funny. they are freakishly cheap. it wouldn’t fit into his troker because of all the spokes. maybe the same thing would happen.
Don’t take it out on him that you have goofy relatives. We ALL have goofy relatives who give our kids stuff we’d rather they not give. It’s no big deal.
Let him choose. Don’t try to talk him out of it.
Lead by example. Not by authority.
He’ll be the only kid with one. That in itself will be cool.
You should look up to him more than he looks up to you. So you should support his decision with gusto.
my dad would call them interesting, laugh, and never mention them again. not in a bad way even, they just wouldnt exist. that would send a message like… “bad idea” and the spinners would go away
I say punish your child because his relatives have what you consider to be bad taste. Installing it on his own would be a good project for him and if he succeeds, spank him or shock him with 220VAC from the range outlet to let him know that you disapprove of him, his choices, and his relatives. Punish the dog too just to avoid showing favoritism.
Put the spinner in the wheel then tell him not to stick his finger in there when it’s spinning. It will be a valuable lesson to him. If he looses a finger in the process have him put the old finger in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. That would be another educational experience for him.
just before he goes to stay with those relatives for a week, buy him a drum
in the meantime, fit the spinner
he rides a unicycle and u’re concerned about him doing/having something out-the-ordinary?!?
i’m not even touching the bad taste issue
I agree with the genreal jist of what others are saying, let him go with it if he wants to, but letting him try to fit it himself might help him swing more towards your point of view.
I think most of you are missing the main point here. Did you read this part:
You see, the real issue for me is trying to evade the real issue. I can’t put the stupid thing together. If I can convince him that it is tacky and tasteless, I can save face as a Father and will not have to admit my technical retardation, while at the same time blaming it on the inlaws. Can’t you see the beauty in this?
I must say that I am disappointed by the sheer uncaring nature and the almost total lack of understanding on the part of my unicycling brethren. Instead, I get burning coals heaped upon my head. I expected more from you than this. You are mostly men, after all, and know how what a fragile beast the male ego is. Especially, you Gilby. You could have easily said that “spinners are not approved by TCUC and not allowed in parades or shows,” and resolved this dilemma quickly and easily.
I think you enjoy watching me suffer.
You, sir, are obviously a man of great wisdom and understanding. I think I will appoint you guardian of my children should I have an early demise.
