Almost got beat up on uni

I was riding Sunday, when a bunch of kids on bikes confronted me. They were all like dude that’s stupid and things like that. They asked me how much i spent on it. It was a united with the kh saddle. Ummm 200 something. They thought that was stupid. They asked me why I didn’t just take a part a bike. idiots. That would sort of result in a recumbent but I told them hey duhhh a bike costs more than a uni. So i rode away. One yelled as I rode “I hope you fall and break your neck”. I said same to you.

I dont know how many times I have gotten the “why dont you cut a bike in half?” that is so retarded, as anyone with half a brain stem can tell from looking at a uni and a bike, that that wouldnt work. or, “doesnt that hurt your nuts?” and obviously not, because if it did, I would sa ow or something after dropping off of picnic tables!! or how about the, “can you actually RIDE that thing!?” and to them I say, “No, I cant. I carry it around because it matches my shoes. HERE’S YOUR SIGN!!!” I think this is mainly due to the population increase, and the total IQ of the nation staying constant.


Those dudes would have called you stupid no matter what you said anyway. They don’t really care about how much it cost, they just want to belittle you to make themselves feel better.

The other night I was riding my Coker around the neighborhood and some kids in a minivan slowed down and threw a soda bottle at me (they missed, btw). I wished they would have stopped, because I knew I could make them feel like dirt or scare the bejeezus out of them since I’m twice their age and 4 times as smart, but they just kept driving. The hard part was just letting it go, but really the only way to be the better, smarter person was to let it go and try not to let it bother me too much.

They’ll get what’s comming to them, you can be sure. It’s just a matter of time.

:angry: -> :frowning: -> :roll_eyes: -> :smiley: -> :sunglasses:



Everyonce and a while the frat boys sing the circus theme when I ride by… that’s why I try to make as much of my riding off-road as possible. People stop making fun of you when they can’t believe that, yes, you did just ride over that :wink:

Actually, the way to be the smarter person would be to let it go and not let it bother you too much, but then call up your contact in the motor vehicles department anyway, get an address for that van, then visit in the dark of night with a bottle of Karo brand pure corn syrup roughly the size and volume of the bottle they threw at you.

Not that anything I say should be construed as advice. I’m not a real nurse, I just play one on the internet. :smiley:

You should ride with several other unicyclists. Then you can taunt the bikers!!
Or at least not get beat up when the bikers taunt you.

unicyclists v neds

I got into a fight with two neds in Glasgow’s kelvingrove park while I was out uni-ing at about 6pm on a friday night. I was having a wicked time when two neds started the “is that hard?” I was like “No its easy as fuck what do you think” Then the other one says “fuck you ya speccy fuck” (I wear glasses) so I said “Fuck you ya ned fuck”. Then he was all “moan then” So I rode towards him, grabbed his arms and kept cycling with him walking backwards, I told him not to be so silly (I’m 25, they were about 17-18 and I was much bigger than them) and let go of his arms and rode off. He then chased me and TRIED to kick me off, so I just jumped straight off and faced him, he was all ready for fighting, fists up by his face and that. I kept smiling at him, he punched me in the head so I grabbed him and took him to the floor, as I was trying to get hold of his arms his mate kicked me in the head so I jumped up, grabbed the ned off the floor, threw him into a nearby fence and turned to get the other one. Then he put his arms up and said “Whoa easy!” I picked my glasses up off the floor, got on my uni, went over to the ned on the floor, said “You’ll not do that again will you?” and then rode over his foot and went home.

There was quite a few folk around who saw it all and they were all on my side, telling the neds to fuckoff and that they had asked for it. Even an old drunk tramp gave me the thumbs up!

I have seen them since and they look away as soon as they see me. Ha.

Probably not the best way to handle neds, I’ll not do it again, unless they really wind me up!


Thats probably what I would have done. But one question, whats a “ned”?

Boy these toms are a rough bunch. I’d advise everyone stay on the good side of anyone named tom.

Yeah, especially Toms that wear glasses… :sunglasses:

Don’t make me come over there, Ned.

A ned’s a scally isn’t it? This is recent conversation I had with a little scroat not so long ago
Scroat: Go on then
Me: What?
Scroat: Ride it
Me: No
Scroat after a couple seconds thought and deciding that reverse psychology worked on anyone over the age of 12: You can’t can you?
Me: No
Scroat: Yes you can yes you can ride it!
Me: No

One that did make me laugh was these boy racers ragging their escort down my street and upon seeing my trying desperately to slow down and one guy stuck his head out of the window and all I heard was BRRRUUUU- you’ve lost a wheel- UMMMMM as they shot past.

Ha! For your information, my car doesn’t even have a fuel pump! So just stay away from here with your Karo, at least 'til I whip up a batch of Mrs. Butterworth’s.
Oh, I found a picture of you in the act:

Jeff Foxworthy is awesome.

I ve had two bad encounters while unicycling.

The first one was when me and my friend were riding down a neighoburhood street when a bunch of friends in a car saw us unicycling. They sped up in their new acura and turned suddenly when they were about to hit us. Then they started yelling a bunch of shit out the window. My friend was really pissed so we gave them the finger and kept riding. On our way back at night we saw the car in a driveway of the house so we went and spat on their front door handles.

The second was when we were riding at a public beach at night. A gang of huge black guys came up to us and took our unis. I figured it would be wise not to mouth off to them. They made us empty our pockets and shoes for money but saw that we had nothing. Then they saw that there was a security officer walking along in the distance so they just said a bunch of stuff i couldnt understand ,gave us props and left.

Re: unicyclists v neds

Sounds like a perfectly normal night in Glasgow to me!:smiley:

man, its so nice riding in a group with all your freinds. everybody has eachothers backs. and where i live its like heaven, barely anybody makes in fun of you. and the great part is that unicycling is GROWING here, like really fast. some kid saw me riding my uni off-road and i saw him the next day trying to ride on at the local park (were freinds now). but the weird thing is that it only took him 1 day to learn how to ride, and his big brother bought one and only took him a week to learn, and then the youngest brother (which is about 9) and learned in 3 days. there is a local pool for local residents in our neighborhood, and me and my freind unicycle to there along with his little brothers who also unicycle, and when we show up everyone thinks its soo cool and they have to get one. it grows at least 1-2 people a week, now that is growth! and half of them are doing trials or muni. we have about 11 riders just in the neighborhood and a couple are waiting on their unis. I told everyone that you can only buy them from so thats where everybody has gotten theirs. im thinking i could e-mail and ask them if I can get a rebate off my next purchase for helping out i mean thats alot of orders i helped out with. well sry for my long post but I had to share my excitement!

nobody in my area seems interested, how can i get them to start? did you do anything special, aside from letting them watch you ride?


no, not really. the only problem is im sure they think its a fad, it will just die out, but i really hope not. just tell them its alot of fun, just throw alot of positive comments at them.

I said that the other day when a couple of my friends were around and they just gave me stupid looks like they didn’t know what I was talking about.

Man some of you guys have had some pretty crazy experiences. The worst I’ve had is a couple guys in a minivan yell “queer!” as they drove by.