Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She
wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle on prices” attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Well then, maybe I’ll just go
out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!”
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, “Little lady, just go > and
give it a try!”
The blonde headed out toward the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.
Lying nearby were seven more of the dead creatures, all lying on their
backs The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out…“DAMN!.. THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!”
My kind of Doctor-
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80”? He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either.” Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?” I said,“No, my other doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!” “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?” “No, I don’t,” I said.
He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?” “No,” I said. “I don’t do any of those things.” He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a S##T?