I’m in.

Very Happy Birthday, O Ancient One.


It’s pouring rain and the battery in my car is dead. If I must, I will run to the store on the corner in the pouring rain to obtain this root beer. Pictures later…

4Sure 5-B-4-50.5!
Don’t worry Greg, we’re all root(beer)ing for you!
And remember, just because Greg Harper didn’t do it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t possible!
I’m proudly holding at level 2 and have no trouble beating myself up on the trails. Water in my camel back makes bouncing less painful. I’ve never even thought of trying to ride backwards in a circle -I’ve never come across a trail where it was required…

I wish you luck and faith, and know you have what it takes.

I’m sorry, Greg, to be the one to tell you that the level 5 requirements have been revised- you must now ride backwards in a circle while we pelt you with grapefruit. Points will be awarded based on poise, composure, and your ability to humm ‘Mrs. Robinson’ without faultering.

After confiring with my Fellows, we have elected not to grant you honnorary level-5 status; however, I’m pleased to announce -on behalf of the Greater Unicycling Community- that we have revoked your birthday until the task is complete. Members, please refrain from posting gifts of Britny Spears T-shirts and Oscar-Mier Wiener Cars at this time. All root-beer is to remain chilled.


Hear, hear…

mmMMM…grapefruit. mmmMMM… Mrs. Robinson. I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.

I went to Orcas Island for my birthday and joined you all in the midnight root beering (yes, I can conjugate the verb to root beer) as a 12 pack of my own was brought along for me. The entire trip was a surprise for me (it took several hours to fully recover from the anesthetic) provided by my wife and attended by my two children who, at 22 and 26, rightfully resent the label “children”, and good ole “Buster the Disguster” who enjoyed three full days of always being within peeing distance of Puget Sound, a treat generally reserved for only a 2 hour romp on every Satuday and Sunday.

Unicycling accessories were showered upon me in the form of a hydration pack and a cycling jersey as well as some uni-que unicycle art work. Among the gifts was an envelope posted from St. Paul, MN containing a card with a strap for wearing around ones neck, I can only guess, bearing the message, “me and Mr. Potato Head are 50 this year”. I now know many sick people from Minnesota and can’t imagine which one would send such an ominous and devious message. I also received my favorite birthday cake which is actually cherry pie.

We spent three days there in a cabin on the west beach right on the water. I had no unicycles with me. I grieved. Fortunately, new-age holistic counselors are available about every 60 angstroms on a place like Orcas Island. I began a book, “Dancing Naked in the Mind Field”, by Kary Mullis, recommended to me by my brother who seems to have recognized me in a couple of chapters. May you never have a brother…he chose the wrong chapters.

And now I am 50 and the memories (which I may be making up or borrowing from a birthday party of my youth or even an entirely unrelated event) are fading and slowly being replaced by liver spots. Thank you all, whichever nieces, nephews, and cousins I remember you to be, for all of the support, encouragement … oh, I’ve got to go, Mary Tyler Moore is on.

Greg – welcome to the Uni-AARP group. The reality of getting older hits when the first AARP membership request arrives in your mailbox. I have an advantage over you – I’ve been your age, but you have not been my age – so listen to this advice:
Yes, memory loss does occur; however, you can turn it into your advantage because you meet new people every day.

Warren Miller: “Pick an age – any age and live that age to its fullest.”