36er weight-savings

I’ve been doing a lot of 36er hill climbing and looking for ways to prune some weight. Here’s what I have in mind so far:

  1. remove valve cap
  2. remove UDC sticker inside fork
  3. sand logos off rim and cranks
  4. remove excess lube from wheel bearings and pedal bearings
  5. cut toenails extra-short

feel free to add your own suggestions to the list

Can you run a 36er tubeless? :smiley:

Lose the frame and seat entirely. Ultimate wheel would be much lighter.

Tubeless is a start, but tireless is lighter. Plus, as you ride you leave more metal on the road, so as you climb higher it gets easier as you lose rotational weight!

Oh, and drill everything. even the pedal spindles, right through the middle. If you could figure out how to drill the spokes go for it.

Didn’t think of drilling the spokes – nice!

Forgot to mention that I also got a short haircut.

(Re tireless: a family member who spent some time in Haiti reported that tireless bikes were quite common there.)

make sure you use Helium instead of air in the tire

Of course you are going to ride naked! :roll_eyes:

I’ve been thinking about this for a minute; shave legs, arms, armpits, and everything you can think of. Cut off pinky toes and fingers. Grind fingernails and toenails to nothing. Make sure to cut off eyelids to stay extra alert and can save weight from eye lashes. Take out one eye ball, NOTE MAY CAUSE POOR DEPTH PERCEPTION. Amputate 1 arm, your nose, lower jaw, reproductive organs, appendix, teeth, and other organs and muscles THAT ARENT ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR UNICYCLING. Take out spokes and nipples and replace with scotch tape. Remove rim, tire, frame, and saddle. Remove 4 feet of your intestines, and spinal cord, reattach yourself with scotch tape. Move brain and eye ball to chest cavity, then cut off head and don’t forget to wear a helmet. New medical science has shown that you can combine all of your organs to one single mega functional coca cola bottle. Replace bones with bendy straws. Drain a few pints of blood. Don’t eat for 13 days before riding, and no drinking 47 hours before ride. Or sand your unicycle until all parts are one atom across. And don’t forget your crack pipe.

4 out of 5 crackheads recommend this method.
Finally, if you are really desperate, take your backup uni out of your backpack and burn it. Take the fire with you so it can help lift you up.
Or you can uni on the moon

Just so’s you know, reproductive organs are absolutely necessary for unicycling, as you know you’re riding wrong when you sit on them.